ByronKatie.com

That's so beautiful Rhonda... N.

A meal experience at the school:

We did many of our meals together in silence. This morning was no exception. The tables are big round tables. Enough to seat about 10 - 12 people all filled. I sat at a table that had about 4 people sitting side by side at one end. I chose to sit directly across from the 4. So, I had several seats open on either side of me. As the participants filled the tables, I realized that my seats on either side were still empty. One to my right and 2 to my left. As I noticed this...my mind went to ..."wow, am I giving off a bad vibe or something?" "do I stink?" "I am not very friendly or inviting to sit next to". This last one is funny cuz...I mean...no one was talking...so...it was not really a social thing. Each of us being totally present with the fabulous food and our own minds. Anyway...I started to feel really bad, unworthiness started to creep in. Then...from what seemed to be another part of my mind...these words came, "you hardly ever want to be with me...you are always chasing someone else to be with out there". This went right to my heart and I felt it very deeply. It was soooo right on. Always trying to connect with another outside of me. Like, I am not enough. I sat with that for a minute and then another thought came, "would you just be with me for these few moments here at the table?" It was such a sweet request, like my child was asking or anyone else that I love so very much. At that moment I started to cry a little, cuz it was the sweetest thing to bubble up in me in a long time. I sat there with all of me and my food and was present with every bite. The thought that no one was sitting next to me was gone. Then another thought, "no one sat by me on purpose, like..life supports me in this way." If someone had sat with me, I would not have had that experience. When I look back at this, I think that everyone could have got up and left the room and I would not have noticed. I was with me, more solidly, more closely, more lovingly than I have ever been before. When I was done, I floated out of the room to my next all day session with Katie.

The next day, I noticed that I chose a table that no one was sitting at and was with me again in that deep way. I noticed that the first people to sit at the table sat right next to me on either side. I just smiled to myself and thought, "that is very sweet too, and I continue to be here with me". My experience at meal time was changed forever.

So much gratitude for my school.

all love,
r

I have stood in this place in my mind before. Now I stand in the unknown without all the attachments I once had. It is different. I listen and wait instead of looking for a fix.