The following is a list of the stressful holiday thoughts which we got from our vets. We had them draw 3 thoughts each out of a "treat jar," pair up, and apply the 4 questions and the turnarounds.
We had 22 guys and they could all find them in their lives. Good energy.
Love,
Jean
I have to go home.
I have to do all the work.
I don’t have a family.
I might not behave.
I have to buy gifts. (I have to have money for gifts.)
I have to be around people.
They might ask me to do something.
I don’t have enough money.
I won’t feel anything (joy).
I’m not being helpful.
I’ll be depressed.
I’ll be alone.
Shopping is a pain.
Cooking is a chore.
All the drunks will be on the road.
I’ll miss my family.
My mom died on Christmas.
I won’t be straight on Christmas.
I have to see family I don’t like.
I have to lie (about Christmas).
I can’t give them what they want.
The white Christmas doesn’t come. (It’s supposed to snow on Christmas.)
I can’t go home (and see certain family members).
I’m not wanted.
I have no input.
I will be judged.
Taking time off from work will put me behind.
I can’t participate.
I should have prepared for the holiday.
I have no girlfriend to share the holiday with.
They’ll be upset with me.
I wish the whole family could be together.
It takes too long to get there.
I might run out of booze.
I have to listen to my mom complain.
I have to stay longer than I want to.
The weather will be lousy.
I might steal the presents.
I have nothing to wear.
My friend was murdered on Thanksgiving eve. (I was supposed to be there.)
I haven’t talked to my family in a while.
The hospital is the loneliest place on a holiday.
They can’t be here. (We won’t be together.)
Talking on the phone makes me upset (miss them more).
I’ll miss my kids.
I have to go into detox. (I have to wait to get into Cat-5.)
I might use.
My family will think I’m relapsing.
I’ll be depressed if I can’t go home.
I’ll spend more money dining out and eating.
I can’t spend time with my kids. (They’re locked up.)
I have to go into my savings to purchase gifts.
Everyone should get together.
They’re not around. (I wish my family was around.)
I have to remember. (It’s disrespectful—it means I don’t care.)
I’ve never had a sober Christmas.
I can’t give my son what I would like.
I’m always the one giving. (I’d like to receive.)
Nobody thinks about me.
I can’t celebrate. (She died on Christmas.)
I have to shop.
Holidays are another reason to get high.
It’s too much.
It has to be perfect.
Everyone has to get along.
I have to get the right thing for everyone or they won’t love me.
I have to like my gifts.
I’m supposed to like my gifts. (People should know what I like.)


Comments (1)
I love the idea of the "treat jar" as a new twist on inquiry circle and I'm going to borrow it for an upcoming workshop! Who could not relate to all or most of these beliefs, in or out of a vet's hospital? I held a "hellidays" teleclass before Thanksgiving and many of the same issues were voiced by the participants there. Demographics don't seem to matter much when it comes to the mind and its mechanisms. Thanks and love to Jean for sharing this experience.
Posted by Carol L. Skolnick | January 21, 2007 11:32 AM
Posted on January 21, 2007 11:32