ByronKatie.com

Here's the transcript for this one.

--------------------------------------------
Video: Inquiry - "He should be more understanding"
--------------------------------------------

P: Frank should be more understanding

BK: Is that true? "Frank should be understanding" - think of the person in your life that you can relate this to - that person should be more understanding, can you absolutely know that that's true? Again, who needs God when you have your opinion?

BK: You know we are like dictators - in our minds "you should be more understanding and you need to this and you need to that and I need to this" - we're dictating the world, there's no PRESENCE in it.

BK: "He should be more understanding" - can you absolutely know that that's true?

P: No, he shouldn't be, he doesn't have to be understanding

BK: Yeah, he should just be Frank instead

P: Just be himself, yeah

BK: Yeah - so how do you react when you believe this thought and he does not understand your behavior, when you're angry?

P: I get pain in my body like physical pain in my heart and my whole being

BK: Yes, that's what happens when we believe our thoughts, that's what happen when we begin to, from our heads, control the world.

BK: You know, that's how we create the world - "He should be more understanding" - and we're creating this world that's not happening right now.

BK: We're trying to make it into this imaginary utopia and all the time we're not being understanding - we're not applying it to our self.

P: It's true, I haven't been understanding with where his situation is and what's been going on with him.

BK: Very good - so who would you be without the thought "Frank should be more understanding"?

BK: [to audience] Imagine your lives without that thought. Who would you be without that thought?

BK: I don't ever expect anyone to understand me, even when they do what do I have?

BK: What I love experiencing is do I understand you? Can I just hear you and be present and understand?

BK: Who would you be without that thought?

P: I'd be more free, more at peace.

BK: Yeah

P: I'd be absolutely more at peace.

BK: Let me take you into something that could be very exciting and I invite you all to follow.

BK: So sweetheart, close your eyes and see if you can get a picture of Frank where he is absolutely NOT understanding. Can you get it?

P: [nodding]

BK: He's not going there, OK, now look at him just for a moment drop your story and look at Frank - really look at that, look at him. Do you see his eyes, his face? Who do you see, what do you see?

P: A sweetness, sort of, and a lovingness. A little bit of fear but still just a wanting to be there.

BK: Yeah, yeah. I think you're meeting Frank for the very first time.

P: I am, yeah

BK: Yeah, that's what I love about this work you know, I've come to see that no two people have ever met.

BK: We haven't even met our children we're so busy dictating what's best for them - we want to marry people we don't even know. And you know that's after dating for 30 years.

BK: Who would I be without my story? What am I without my story?

BK: (off-screen) Beautiful, yeah

BK: So turn it around, turn that thought around.

P: I should be more understanding.

BK: Yes - of you AND Frank - understand yourself and be gentle when you find yourself reacting and you're angry.

BK: You know, to just notice and show a little mercy for that dear one that you call you.