« Katieism: Stress is an alarm clock... |
| Katieism: An uncomfortable feeling is not an enemy... »
Posted by Byron Katie on March 30, 2007 6:13 AM
Eventually got round to transcribing this one - took a while for me to be with the message in this one and feel it more fully!
With love, Jon
Video: Inquiry - "My Father Put Too Much Pressure on Me"
A: He put too much pressure on me to be responsible, to be grown-up.
BK: So, give me an example of where you believed he put too much pressure on you. Let's have a conversation, you be your father and I'll be someone that loves him, I'll be you.
BK: (with back to the camera) So put all the pressure that you can, as your father, onto me.
A: "Amy, you need to help your Mom because she, all these kids are running around and you need to go get the shoes for Karen because we need to go and you need to go and do, you need to go and help her right now."
BK: "Thank you, that sounds like a good plan, I'll do the best I can with it."
BK: And then you just do the best you can with it.
A: What if I don't want to? What if I want to say "No"?
BK: OK, "So Dad, thank you for asking and I don't want to help her."
A: "Like hell you're not going to help her, you get your butt over there and you help her right now, you are the oldest in this family and you will take responsibility and do it NOW, don't you dare tell me 'No' Amy, get over there."
BK: "OK, so Dad if I don't, what's going to happen?"
A: "Hmmm" (not sure what to say maybe?!)
BK: "I want to know the consequences because I don't want to help her and I need to know those consequences because those consequences could change my mind."
(Lots of audience laughter)
A: "You'll be grounded and first of all you just don't tell your father 'No'."
BK: "Well actually I wasn't telling you 'No' I was just telling you I didn't want to."
A: "OK, well I don't care if you want to or not, you are still going to do it."
BK: "And what are the consequences if I don't?"
A: "Well you'll probably be grounded and, erm...."
BK: "Well, give me a percentage of the probably."
A: "You will be."
BK: "I will be grounded."
A: "You need to help your Mom, that's just all there is to it."
BK: (off-camera) "OK, and how long will I be grounded?"
A: "For the rest of your life girl, you need to get over there and do this."
BK: "OK, so the rest of my life or to help her with her shoes."
BK: "OK, thank you, you're amazing, I can always count on you for clarity" and then I would go do the shoes.
BK: But not because I'm under pressure, because it's an intelligent decision.
A: You're right.
BK: So ask me to touch my nose. No, tell me to touch my nose.
A: "Amy, touch your nose."
(BK doesn't do it)
A: "Right now - stop just standing there, do it."
A: "What are you doing, you're still not touching your nose - TOUCH IT."
BK: (Nodding) "You feel very strongly about this, don't you?"
A: "Yes, I am your father, I know best, I know that if you touch your nose, just do it and it will work out"
BK: OK, so ask me....
A: "No, don't ask any questions, just do it, I am your father. I know, I have been in your shoes before, I KNOW."
A: "TOUCH YOUR NOSE."
(BK touches her nose)
A: "Thank you, now do you see, now do you see, now do you see?"
BK: OK, so who made the decision, who made that decision?
From the audience: You did
BK: I did - I wasn't pressured - not at all. I touched my nose because I didn't know why not, the man was very, you know....
A: Exactly! I trusted him, I trust him.
BK: (off-camera) But who made the decision? Who made the decision to touch her nose?
A: You did.
BK: I made the decision TOTALLY, I was not pressured, I did it but if I tell the story "he pressured me", and that's what you're doing, "Your father pressured you" - is it true?
BK: And what happens when you believe the thought "He pressured you"?
BK: You know, someone could torture me and, and as an intelligent human being I'd say, "Before you do that, what do you want?".
BK: "You know I could save you a lot of trouble and me a lot of pain" - and that doesn't mean they wouldn't torture me anyway but as an intelligent human being I make the choice.
BK: I make the choice.
BK: If they are torturing me and then I say it - I give them what they want because they've tortured me - who made the decision? I did.
BK: I did, but I can't say "they tortured me, they made me". I did it, it's an intelligent decision and it doesn't mean they are going to stop.
BK: But I cannot, I cannot NOT take responsibility for my own mind and action, because until I take responsibility the world is my problem.
Jon Willis |
April 19, 2007 12:24 PM
April 19, 2007 12:24
This girl is great - she could have her own comedy show!
Jon Willis |
March 31, 2007 11:44 AM
March 31, 2007 11:44
(f you haven't left a comment here before, your entry may not appear until we have had time to process your information. Until then, thanks for waiting.)
Remember personal info?
Comments: (you may use HTML tags for style)
This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on March 30, 2007 6:13 AM.
The previous post in this blog was Katieism: Stress is an alarm clock....
The next post in this blog is Katieism: An uncomfortable feeling is not an enemy....
Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.