Q: Have you ever been to a Katie event?
A: No, but I have listened to the Loving What Is tapes. I listen to them when I go to sleep.
Q: Is it ever hard for you to hear people’s stories?
A: Sometimes, a little bit. I like the endings when sometimes they laugh a lot and they realize it’s really not true what they were thinking.
Q: Do you experience that when you do The Work?
A: Yeah, I do.
Q: Can you tell me about a specific dialogue that helped you?
A: Yeah, I can remember one. This is from couple of years ago. I was watching TV. There was this really scary preview—it was of a horror movie—and I didn’t have enough time to change the channels, so I saw it. That really freaked me out.
So my mom helped me with that. I did The Work on it and after that I realized it was not actually something that could hurt me. It was an image that was made up and was not real. That was helpful.
[Emma’s mom described how the turnaround “I’m going to hurt the monster” was a fun one for them. Emma saw that she could destroy the monster by questioning her thoughts about it. She also saw how she hurt herself (“I’m going to hurt me”) by bringing back in her mind an image of something unreal—that wasn’t in her room in reality—and believing it could actually harm her. It hurts to make up and imagine what the monster will do to me.]
Q: Did you feel peaceful after that? Were you able to sleep in your room?
A: That night I slept in my mom’s room just in case. After that I felt a lot better and just comfortable with going to sleep. I was clear-minded. Even if I pictured the image, it didn’t actually scare me anymore.
Q: Is there anything else you’d like to tell me about The Work in your life?
A: Something happened that was kind of big and it sort of caused me and my mom to separate a bit. I was really angry at her. And I was worried that it would cause our relationship to be permanently wounded. She did The Work with me on that and it helped a lot. So it’s more peaceful now.
Q: After The Work, were you done with that belief? Did you find the relationship wasn’t permanently wounded?
A: Yeah, I did.
Q: Emma, why do you think The Work works? What do you think it is about The Work that helps people totally change their mind?
A: Oh, wow. When you do The Work, especially with “Is it true?”—if you think for a couple of minutes you realize this thought can’t be true. Like, “I need oranges.” You realize if you needed them, you’d be unhealthy. If you’re perfectly healthy, you wouldn’t need anything else. You’re only unhealthy emotionally if you think that thought.
And then “How do you react when you think the thought?” You realize there’s a really big chain of suffering you go through if you just think this one simple thought.
The turnarounds are the most important—especially the part where you have to give a reason why it’s true. It might not even be part of The Work you’re doing. “My friend doesn’t care about me anymore.” If you do the turnaround “I don’t care about myself,” you find a moment where you didn’t care about yourself. That points the flashlight at you, not your friend. Sometimes when I’m angry I pinch myself or hit myself to numb the emotional pain and focus on physical pain.
Q: Do you ever find the turnarounds surprising?
A: Yeah, it just comes at you kind of suddenly.
Q: What do you like about hearing Katie do The Work with people?
A: Well, Katie’s funny. She has some funny quotes that are fun to laugh to. It’s also interesting and can give you a better idea of how The Work works—because you can think it’s a weird process and probably doesn’t work. When you hear someone do it and hear how they’re happy when they get to the end of the process, you get how you can use it to make your life happier and not suffer.
Q: Do you imagine you’re going to keep using The Work?
A: Yeah, I do. If you get introduced to it and it works on one of your problems, you really can’t stay away.


Comments (10)
Eitan, thanks for your comment. My initial reaction was negative - your comment felt like a put-down. Then I realized that thought wasn't making me feel good and I did the work on it. I realized that when I take your statement at face value, it is 100% true (for me). That felt much better. It reminded me of what Katie says about when you feel attacked, see if you can find how what the other person said is true - then the idea of "attack" can let go of you.
Thanks for the lesson in how my defensive thoughts can make me unhappy - not to mention get in the way of my ability to communicate clearly with others. In my experience, my tendency to interpret what others are saying as an attack has not been useful or helpful in any way - yet before I found the work I really didn't have any effective tools for changing that pattern.
Posted by Warren | June 2, 2007 12:55 PM
Posted on June 2, 2007 12:55
Eitanism: Clinging to "The Work" is just like clinging to any other thought – loss of freedom.
Posted by Eitan | May 25, 2007 9:31 AM
Posted on May 25, 2007 09:31
I thought the Work was only for spiritual people. That's a thought that separates me from other.
1)Is it true? NO, Anyone can ask himself/hersef the four questions.
2)Can you absolutely know that it's true?
Yes, there is a child asking the questions.
3)How do you react when you believe the thought? Separated
4) Who would you be without the thought?
Peaceful and happy.
Turn it around>
The work is not only for spiritual people.
The work is not for spiritual people.
There, no separation.
Posted by Enrique | May 24, 2007 10:17 AM
Posted on May 24, 2007 10:17
I just recently turned eleven, and I've been doing the work since before I can remember. Katie first came to my town when I was 18 months, my dad was actually the one who got her to come. I've grown up with the work and always get excited when I hear about other kids doing it. I'd love to get in touch with Emma if that's possible.
Posted by Eisha K. | May 21, 2007 7:54 PM
Posted on May 21, 2007 19:54
I love this interview with Emma! What a sweetie!
Sometimes when I am stressing out and having a bad day, I'll write out a Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet and read it to one of my kids. They love to ask me the 4 questions (sometimes tease my foolish thoughts) and I find that children are great facilitators of The Work.
Posted by Marianne Wille | May 19, 2007 5:07 PM
Posted on May 19, 2007 17:07
Emma,
So wonderful! You remind me how simple
The Work is.........Joy
Posted by Joy Curtis | May 17, 2007 1:14 PM
Posted on May 17, 2007 13:14
The children shall lead the way. Amazing.
Thanks Emma. This is my experience too: "If you get introduced to it and it works on one of your problems, you really can’t stay away."
The Work is like a vacuum that dismantles stress. The absence of concept or theory in the simple questions seems like a vacuum that attracts and devours stress.
Posted by Dale Steele | May 17, 2007 5:56 AM
Posted on May 17, 2007 05:56
Thanks Emma!
I love the laughing part of the Work too.
becky
Posted by Rebecca (Becky) Lofland | May 14, 2007 5:20 AM
Posted on May 14, 2007 05:20
Isn't it interesting that we sometimes tell ourselves the story that physical pain is easier to deal with than emotional pain?
I'm so glad I stumbled onto The Work, so that I can easily find my way out of emotional pain and into love.
Yay!
Oh, and I love that people are doing inquiry with kids. They learn so fast and love so easily!
Posted by Turil | May 14, 2007 5:17 AM
Posted on May 14, 2007 05:17
My oldest child will be nine in a few months and while I use The Work with him, I never thought of letting him listen to Katie for himself. Thank you for posting this because I know that The Work helps him and listening to it for himself may help him extrapolate things he needs that he wouldn't necessarily get if The Work is coming to him through me.
Posted by C Gordon | May 13, 2007 7:22 AM
Posted on May 13, 2007 07:22