ByronKatie.com

Hi Anna,

For me, I do The Work on whatever thoughts and beliefs are coming up for me in a stressful or unwanted situation, then I see what happens or what I decide to do.

You can't change your thinking, but you can inquire then notice how life changes - that might include staying with your spouse, leaving or something else.

With love, Jon

What if you are abused, beat, hurt by your spouse? Are you just supposed to like the situation and change your thinking?

Hi Leah,

In Loving What Is Katie says the following: "No one has ever been able to control his thinking, although people may tell the story of how they have. I don't let go of my thoughts - I meet them with understanding. Then they let go of me."

From my experience of "The Work," it's not the thought of "what is, is not enough" that hurts - it's when you attach to that
thought that you suffer frustration,
anger, or sadness, or whatever. The
thoughts will come, and you can't stop them. The whole world - the media, advertising, your friends, family, every aspect of the world that is apparently outside of Self - broadcasts that you can never have enough or be enough.

With "The Work" you have the tools to meet that thought with 4 questions and turn it around. Then you start living life from the inside out instead of from the outside in. But as Katie often says, I invite you not to believe me, but to apply the questions to your own underlying beliefs and discover it for yourself.

For instance, in reading your post I notice that you say "I am not happy." Is that true? How do you react when you think that thought? Etc.If you try to stop thoughts from arising, it's hopeless. Someone once told me to try not to think of pink elephants. From the moment I tried, I could think of nothing but pink elephants! Thoughts seem to have a life of their own - but we don't have to live their life.

Hope this helps a little or a lot, and if it doesn't, that's good too.

Anne

Hi Leah,

Thanks for your comment - you helped me to recognize a couple of beliefs that I can have:

1. I can hurt other people

2. This is not enough

And to answer your question on how not to think these thoughts, I don't know that that is possible, but I know I can question them and then they let go of me.

With love and thanks, Jon

Leah, I'm not sure that I understand these comments. 'Please help me to understand How not to think what is, is not enough'- have you used the Hotline on www.thework.com? (You can telephone and work your thought-problem with a trained volunteer- they're all great, in my experience, and the volunteers.). Why not see the comedy of your thinking and have a laugh; we don't have to take ourselves, and especially our thoughts, so seriously.

I have read the work . which I have found great joy in solving my past problems. I also found a new look on how people are treating me.I understand you have no control over what other people opions or way of life are. But what are you going to do if you want to chang things in your life. but everyone eles wants things to stay the same even if it meams I am not happy . I know its my decidions to live what is or change it.I just do not feel right in making changes that would hurt anyone eles. I have changed my way of thinking but the rest of my family think its wrong.I am still living what is .But this has left me feeling with the question of is this all there is, what is nothing more just what is here this moment you have no power to chane what is because you are were you are an that is what is.please help me to understand How not to think what is , is not enough.