Video: “I love criticism”


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  1. In my view BK values criticism too much in this video. Yes, I think we can learn a lot from it -probably more than we usually try to (for we read I..)- but life is too short to give consideration to all the criticism that comes our way. How many people in this world can sit around evaluating it in order to decide what about themselves to change, and how to? There are, for many, bills to pay, mouths to feed and all the rest.
    And who wants all the moaners, whiners and naysayers in this world to be encouraged by our listening to them?
    By the way, BK, I think you’re great!

  2. I recently had a run-in with someone and found that simply listening to them, finding what they said inside me, and saying “Thank you” made a HUGE difference in the experience. (It was right out of the School listening exercise.) I didn’t find everything they said useful, and some definitely didn’t match my experience, but the interaction went very well and they related that they felt very heard. My experience was that I listened very deeply and felt very connected to them, even when disagreeing with their specifics.

    Note that I did not voice my disagreement, but simply listened.

  3. Thank you, David, for bouncing off Katie and asking how many people can afford the time to sit around pondering all the criticism that comes their way.

    In the last School for The Work, the answer appeared to be more than 300 who had grown desperate by practicing the alternative, and they sat around not as an exercise in self flagellation but in a sincere exploration of how to put an end to that.

    My surer answer is that there is one, me, and when I am reluctant to listen — when I stonewall — I suffer. When I am willing, I do indeed want to encourage the moaners and whiners by listening to them. Strangely, just like my own moaning, naysaying thoughts, these whiners quiet down like puppies given milk when I lend them vulnerable attention. This is my experience.

    Boy, do I love puppies, don’t you?

  4. Dear Katie,

    I have been reading your books and viewing your videos and I think its beautiful that someone is finally explaining things to me or the world in a way I have never been told or made to understand.
    All the wonderful philosophy and religion couldnt make me understand what to do with my thinking.. but here is something that immediately worked when I applied it to my daily life.

    Every single thing you said had already been clearing away feelings in me that I can say goes back years( my husband keeps teasing me “you are at BK’s site again”).. but there are few things I didnt get to understand clearly I feel, like
    when you say criticism coming from us on our neighbor is a projection from us, why cant we take others criticism in the same way as their projection ( and sometimes can be coming from their own erred/misunderstood thinking) and let things be as they are in our life..
    the other thing is I had been very self critical in my life, and I was wondering how to do the work on all those thoughts, and how would the turnarounds be?
    Like for instance those “I shouldnt have’s”.. I only get one turnaround for it “I should have”.. so please clarify if you can..

    but really..
    Thank you Katie from my heart !!
    I already see so many things differently doing the work
    hugs and cheers to one wonderful person who’s there for everyone unselfishly doing her best!!

    Genius !!

  5. Usha,
    About: “why cant we take others criticism . . . as their projection . . . and let things be as they are in our life.”
    For me criticism is an opportunity for self-discovery. If I am the least bit defensive, or reluctant to see how others might be right in their criticism of me, it shows me a place where I have not yet met an aspect of my belief system with understanding. The criticisers/ enemies bring me the pieces I am blind to or in denial of. For me there is a potential gem in every criticism. When I find the accuracy of their criticism and no longer need to defend or avoid I am more open to the whole of me and that means more open to connect with whoever or whatever comes my way. I experience welcoming criticism and going in with it as a way to love what is more consistently.

  6. thank you so much for your comment Dale..
    I think I have understood the part where you say “it shows me a place where I have not yet met an aspect of my belief system with understanding”, but my doubt seems to linger on : does this understanding be transformed to changing our behaviour for others like “do we change our behaviour to make it convenient for the other person, if so will it not make it easy for the other person to manipulate us.. if its not some one like that I would think its ok , what if its someone who would make use of it, and make us do things the way they want it to happen, wouldnt it always end up hurting us? ”
    can you also explain/comment about my second question about getting only one turnaround “Like for instance those “I shouldnt have’s”.. I only get one turnaround for it “I should have”
    (I keep wondering if Iam doing the work properly in these situations)

    again thank you for your time

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