Another letter from Malawi

You’ll remember the work Kondwani has been doing in Malawi. Here’s an example of the difference he is making:

Dear Byron Katie,

My name is James Matemba. I am a man aged 49, married with 4 kids. I am a Malawian by origin. All my parents was a born in Malawi and raised here in Malawi. For the past years in my life I had no information about this thing called the work, till the time when i was imprisoned for forgery.

I was working with a reputable bank here at home and seven years ago I was found myself in a problem when two people came to me at home. The forced me to witness the check which they brought to me. The check was worth MK2,760,000U (S$20,000.00) due to the preasure I had I did what they were demanding. I was told that if I try to do anything to catch them they are going to kill me within two days. With the love of my family and myself. I risked and do what they told me. The following morning they came to the bank with cheque and they withdraw the money through my authorisation of the cheque without calling the owners of the cheque. These people promised me to give me about 10% of the money after the whole exercise is done perfect. But suprsingly they did not even share me anything till the time I was called to the prison to answer the questions on authorising the cheque without the conset of the cheque owners. The issue went to court where I was sentenced 14 years with hard labour.

While I was there and my time was just coming close to get out from the prison cell. I was released before finishing up my sentence because the suspects were prehinded and brought to book, so instead of doing the gail term of 14 years I was told to do half of the term for the allowing the thevies to still the money and because the maney was not found till now. Then A certain Man came to our prison he distributed the small books to the prisoners, we were about 60 of them on that day but the prison where I was has a capacity of 550 prisoners. Infact the prison wa suppose to hold 200 prisoners but due to the luck of space, we were forced to sleep in a small cell with no space to breath or turn around to other place. The man who came to the prison was young than me, but I took a keen interest with him for what he was saying about the work. He went on facilitate to us about our life in and out of the prison cell. I liked it, though I had no time to meet the man after his session but I knew that with the book he gave me I will get intouch with him so that he can came to my house after my sentence so that we can chart and facilitate my family epecially my wife. Our marriege was about to come to an end when I was behind the bars with lots of stories I was hearing about my wife’s movement with other men. I wa so furious that I wanted to kill the wife when I got out from the prison. That was the numver problem which I had in my mind. But things turnd around with my thoughts with this man. His facilitation changed my mind, I knew that if I got home and kill the wife, I will be behind the bars again for the atire of my life then my 4 children will suffer for the whole of thier life. I was ringering on what to do then. The day came when I was released from the prison that was three days ago. And the first thing which I did was to come to terms with my family and cerebrate my coming to the house again. Then I wanted to meet this man. But the problem is I have forgeten his name he didn’t left us with his contact details apart from the book I have at home. I Finished reaing the small book within a day and I came across with the web address of the Work, I am here now at the internet cafe I browsed the page and find this email address of the work.

Please supply me with the address of the man in Malawi who is doing this tremendous job of changing the life of the prisoners in Malawi. I wan to work with him so that we can reach other places and prisons here in Malawi. He don’t know me as well so give him my email address so that we can communicate. My life has changed completely when I red the book. I have given it to my wife so that she can read also. Please write back to me so that I be assured that you have received my email. Though I am poor now all the money which I had all was finished in paying the lawers and the children school fees. I don’t have work to do now. I don’t know what to do.

Help me how I can live my life to come to normal again.

Yours faithfully,
James Matemba

A Letter from Grant: Gratitude

Hi Katie,

It’s 11:30 pm. I was just on the Community site, looking briefly at the assignments for the Candidate Teleclasses coming up. Gratitude. Then I got off the site and listened to 20 min or so of you in a recording on facilitation “Who is Teacher” where you were doing the Work with a woman. What I heard is as facilitators we are asking the 4 questions, so we can hear them. They are for us to hear, even when we apparently ask the “client” the question. I love (slowly) waking up to that I have nothing to give to somebody. Gratitude. I thought about my life, and waking up to my wife Beth, who is away visiting her daughter in Texas. I am (slowly) seeing how I have never met her, my wife. Gratitude.

I am now listening to Jai Uttal while I type this note to you, as tears of gratitude are flowing…who knows why…who cares!! You have won my heart. It’s over!! Wow..even a little waking up is so delightful. Thank you again. I love bursting. I’d say, God Bless You…but I know you say “He already does”, so I’ll take it as my own blessing. Gratitude.


How to Say “No”

Saying “no” is saying yes to you.

Listen to this interview with The Get it Done Guy, Stever Robbins.

Here are three examples >>

1. The boss asks that you skip some family time for work

S: Hi, Katie! I know it’s 3 o’clock Friday afternoon, but I just remembered I need the TPS report by Monday morning.
K: You know, actually, I’m unable to. I can’t. But I know there’s another way. Why don’t you call … so-and-so.
S: Oh, but Katie–I need YOU to do it.
K: You know, I hear that, and I’m unable to. Merry Christmas.
S: Surely, you could just do it tonight, after dinner.
K: You know, actually, I’m unable to. I can’t.
S: This is going to show up on your annual review.
K: I hear that, and I think that’s a very honest thing to do, because in reality, that’s correct.

2. A co-worker asks for a favor

S: …I have a hair appointment at lunch. Could you cover for me at the desk?
K: You know, actually, I’m unable to.
S: Oh, come on. I’ll cover for you next time.
K: You know, I really appreciate that. I’ll look forward to that for sure. And I’m unable to cover you on this one, but I know you’ll have a great time at the hair-dresser.
S: You’re not being a team player here!
K: You know, it really looks that way, doesn’t it? And of course, as we know, I am.

3. A teenager who wants the car

S: Hey Mom! Can I use your car to go to the movies?
K: No, actually, no.
S: All the other kids’ parents let them use the car.
K: Oh, my goodness, it’s true, isn’t it? You know, we really have different lives.
S: If you loved me, you’d let me use the car.
K: You know, it’s so interesting you would say that. You know, I love you with all my heart, and I’m not letting you use the car.
S: Mom, I hate you! I hate you! Everything in my life that’s wrong is wrong because of you.
K: Oh, honey. I’m so sorry you feel that way. I adore you.

Thank you, Stever.

A Letter from Justina in West Cork, Ireland

Dear Katie,

I just wanted to write and tell you that yesterday was my first time doing a seminar where I incorporated ‘The Work of Byron Katie’ into the area I usually cover. I was so excited. At first, beforehand, I got a bit nervous,but then I worked it and discovered that what I was feeling was excitement and not nervousness, as what was happening for me was that I was introducing you and who could feel anything but excited about that!

It was amazing. It felt like you were there with me. I’d do my bit and then talk about the work and say well let’s hear what Katie has to say and show them extracts from your interview with Josh and some pieces from the videos on The I did two meditations with them and you did one from the meditation DVDs.(!) They did JYN worksheets, one belief at a time worksheets and some work on accepting criticism. They loved it and really began to meet their difficult thoughts head on and watch them dissolve. We ended with the aim to get together and begin an inquiry circle. I hope that happens but I’m open to whatever comes.

It wasn’t a big group – yet 😉 – I live in a very small town in West Cork, Ireland and they were there because of what I do around my book Dance with Life. Though I did say this was an opportunity to experience The Work of Byron Katie as part of that, I wasn’t sure as to how they would react and of course their reaction was wonderful. What other reaction could there have been?

I am so grateful to you and to the school as after the school training I felt so prepared to just be able to be still and trust the work to work without my input, interference or ‘help’.

So I just wanted you to know that a part of you participated in a workshop here and through the awesome powers of internet and DVDs, some people in a small Irish town now have a connection to you and The Work. And most of all I wanted to thank you for that support and for all the ways you help me to move the work.

much love