Someone asked me what was the secret to a happy marriage. I explained that "happy marriage" is the story that we are believing in the moment, or not.
I love the story of "my" marriage. Do you yet?
When I say "I love you," it is always self-love. There's no personality talking: I only talk to myself, so of course I must hear you as me. "I" am the listener, I am all of it, as it turns out.
Love is self-absorbed and leaves no room for any other. Love is the affect of self-consuming, the consumed. There's not a molecule separate, outside of itself. In the apparent world of duality, it can be seen as a you and a me, but in reality there is only one. And even that isn't true. I call it the last story, the one in the moment. The voice I love from within is what I'm married to. All marriage is a metaphor for that marriage.
When I make a commitment, it's to my own truth, and there's no higher or lower. "I love, honor, and obey you—and I may change my mind." I'm married only to God—reality. That's where my commitment is. It can't be to a particular person. And Stephen says that he wouldn't want it any other way. Unless we marry the truth, there is no real marriage. Marry yourself and you have married us. We are you. That's the cosmic joke.
Comments (6)
Dear Katie and Stephen:
I still remember the first time I saw you two together. I wondered why I was so drawn to watching as you talked quietly between yourselves. Then I realized that I was witnessing, maybe for the first time, two undefended humans relating. Minds and hearts listening openly without defense. It was a very beautiful thing to behold. I too felt privileged.
loving you/us,
Sonja Hagemann
Posted by Sonja Hagemann | March 17, 2009 4:57 PM
Posted on March 17, 2009 16:57
I felt so privelidged to notice Stephen looking at you (like you were his angel) and catch your knowing glimpse back at the certification group. I felt the love and felt lucky to have shared that intimate space with you and to feel that love with my husband. Seeing this picture brought back this wonderful feeling I experianced in that moment. Love to you both
With admiration.... Verne
Posted by Verne Dugas | March 3, 2009 9:01 PM
Posted on March 3, 2009 21:01
I am breathless! It's shiny!
Can't stop reading and re-reading.
I forwarded it to our new group in Yahoo.
All my love.
Posted by Laura Saavedra | February 15, 2009 1:18 PM
Posted on February 15, 2009 13:18
To me it doesn't look like 2 people. In this photo I see one being.
Posted by Orly | February 12, 2009 10:45 AM
Posted on February 12, 2009 10:45
What a sweet couple! Happy Valentine's day. XXOO
Posted by Marianne Wille | February 11, 2009 1:55 PM
Posted on February 11, 2009 13:55
You guys are simply glowing in this beautiful photo, as you do in "real life." I am so committed to my story of loving you—feels totally true to me! xoxo C
Posted by Carol L. Skolnick | February 11, 2009 1:52 PM
Posted on February 11, 2009 13:52