Dear Katie,
You say that you are contributing money to help the earthquake victims in Haiti. But aren’t you supposed to love what is? Don’t you love earthquakes? Why send money? I wouldn’t. That would be saying you don’t agree with what is.
B
Dearest B,
My goodness! The simple answer is, “I like them and wish to support them and I like me when I do that.” And no one is “supposed” to love what is, nor can they, until they are no longer fooled by their minds. I simply do love what is, because I have questioned my stressful thoughts thoroughly enough to know how the mind creates all the suffering in the world. For example, if I were to believe that the earthquake shouldn’t have happened, or if I were to imagine their pain and project it onto myself as though it were mine, it would be borrowing pain that isn’t mine, as well as costing me this amazing state of grace to be one who is freed up and in a position to help. I don’t want to add my false suffering as an aftershock to the Haitians. How would that help anyone? It certainly wouldn’t help them, and it wouldn’t help me be as someone compassionately available and aware enough to see myself and them clearly enough to send support. To send support when I know to do it allows me to join where I want to, and the affect is a guiltless state of mind, one that joins without fear. I realize that the earthquake should have happened, because it did happen (in this dream I call reality). What happened happened, and in my kindest world, what is the best-intentioned wanting? It is “How can I help you, add to you in your time of need when I have no need myself?” That’s it, and nothing in the world can change that truest reality of our most authentic and pure kind nature.
I don’t want earthquakes to happen before the fact; but once they happen, that’s what I want. I am a lover of reality. As I often say, when you argue with God, you lose—but only 100% of the time.
Stephen gashed his finger the other day and came in and asked me to drive him to the emergency room for stitches. The blood was really gushing out quite strongly. I didn’t say, “Oh, it’s good that it happened, now you can bleed all over your clothes and the rug.” Rather, we hopped into the car, I drove to the hospital, and he got five stitches in his left hand. Actually it was fun, really fun for both of us. The doctor turned out to be a neighbor whom we hadn’t met yet, and Stephen said that he learned something about blood that will be useful when he writes about the Iliad, which is quite bloody. (He is translating the Iliad from ancient Greek. He finds that great fun—which I find hilarious, and very dear.)
"Loving what is" doesn’t mean that you are passive. Love is action. It lives from the inside out. It is source. People who are suffering are me, they are my own old self being witnessed—that part of my old mind that hasn’t caught up yet, my mind being witnessed, or, in other words, my mind coming back at me to see what is love and what isn’t yet. My mind, your mind, all mind: the same.. I respond to them (people, mind) with the same kindness as I practice toward myself, when I get up and brush my teeth and feed and water this body of the woman people call Katie. Some believe it and some don’t.
When someone comes to me who is suffering, my internal mind’s response and experience is “How can I help?” I don’t think that they shouldn’t be suffering. They are suffering (in their experience, and that makes it real for them as it used to be for “me”). That’s their truth, for the moment and I have mine and theirs is the cause of their suffering until it isn’t. If they are angry or depressed or sad or resentful, I never think that they shouldn’t be feeling what they’re feeling, or that whatever happened to them (as they see it) shouldn’t have happened. I listen. I am available as a “humane” being and friend. I am there to help them question the mind that is creating their suffering. I love that they come to me with an open mind, if they do; and if their mind is not so open, I love that too. Everything is welcome here.
I sent money to Haiti because that seemed to me the kind, right-minded thing to do. I just knew to do it. It was a wholehearted response to an invitation to help. That asking is what is, just as the earthquake is what is. Now that the earthquake happened, I love that people asked me for help, and I love love in action and sending money is just one way. Are you metaphorically experiencing an earthquake within you? If so, let’s do The Work.
Love,
kt
PS - see Dr. Paul Farmer's Op-Ed >>
Comments (4)
Katie - I'm getting stressed out watching TV about Haiti. The money so many countries promised has still not gotten through, and now they have to deal with cholera. Haiti hasn't has cholera since 1960!
How is this tragedy possible? Surely we can't be expected to love this reality? I don't. In fact it stresses me out. I don't love what is in Haiti, Katie. How can you?
How can we possibly love bad things happening to innocent people? This is schadenfreude.
I'm angry at the governments of the world - from the US especially - because they have not given Haiti the money they promised. This chart shows us how bad the situation is: http://s3.amazonaws.com/haiti_production/assets/12/NY_pledge_status_Sept_30_original.pdf
Katie, how can we make a difference?
Posted by Bjorn | November 18, 2010 10:50 AM
Posted on November 18, 2010 10:50
Dear Byron Katie, I am worried that our republican leaders in Washington are inciting people to violence. And the tea-party is just buying the lies from them and Sarah Palin. I worry for our country. What can I do to calm my stressful thoughts. I have bad dreams.
This blog is helping me question my thoughts and thank you.
Posted by Jackie | March 28, 2010 12:45 AM
Posted on March 28, 2010 00:45
Katie,
I have recently come across your work and I think it is brilliant. It succinctly condenses a vast variety of wisdom in 4 simple questions. I have been doing it on everything :)
In talking to people about the work, and other work of a similar 'the world has not meaning other than the meaning we give it' nature, I am often confronted with the same attitudes as the author of the original question. Even Oprah had a similar view, or at least explored the idea for a moment in your interviews with her.
It goes like this:
"Well, if I just accept and love everything, why try and change anything? Why maintain a moral code, why not kill and rape if its all love? Why bother to build a business and make a financial success of my life if its just love anyway? Why not just be a bum on the street? What if a man wants to punch or kill me, do I just let him?' etc.
For some reason, people often interpret that seeing things as they are means they are no longer free to apply their will and intention in a meaningful way... to create/manifest their desires into the universe becomes pointless.
If someone wants to punch me, my intention is to avoid that... from a space of love. If I need to block his punch, or strike back to repel his attach, wonderful, so long as my mind is poised and I am not owning his anger and getting into his business. Poor soul. He knows not. Lucky for me I can retain the balance of my mind and not be hurt by his physical or emotional energy, and hopefully not hurt him in the process of helping him wake up. Yes, I believe you can kill another human being from the space of love. If this man will not stop until he kills me or my family, it is my obligation to do everything in my power to stop that.
If on the other hand I fight back in the name of 'defence', but really I am fighting the perceived oppression of my father, or the inadequacy I feel because my wife is cheating on me, or my impotence etc and this attacker gives me a way to vent my pain, then I miss the lesson and become part of the dream. The story.
Same event, same physical response, two very different internal worlds.
If I am building a business to try and compensate for feelings of inadequacy or low self esteem, my attempts at creation will be minimal as I am not congruent. Incongruence reduces energy, personal magnetism, enthusiasm etc.
If however my mind is free from pain, I am free to receive the true, unadulterated purpose for my life, then BOOM. Talk about power.
To start a business or venture because I am inspired from the heart to do that, to serve myself, my family and humanity takes the soul of that venture to an entirely different level.
The ability to manifest intention and desire maximised when the mind is clear. It is minimised when the mind is charged, lopsided or in pain.
So in fact, seeing things as they are actually presents us with far greater to influence change in the world than otherwise.
Rock on.
Glen.
Posted by Glen Carlson | February 22, 2010 12:47 AM
Posted on February 22, 2010 00:47
American Doctors' Charity Saves Lives Around the World (it's a video about the founder of the charity Katie donated to) - PIH
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS05uKPAcjI
Posted by Orly | February 19, 2010 10:34 PM
Posted on February 19, 2010 22:34