“I shouldn’t have married this man”

Here is a letter from a woman in Europe kind enough to write to Katie even though her first language isn’t English.

For twenty years i’ve been married with my husband and you know, I had for twenty years resentment in this and I couldn’t get through it. I did The Work on it last August, I sent a letter, and still my resentment didn’t resolve till now. I couldn’t find what i wasfighting…..was it my illusion to fight…….I don’t love him or was it my heart telling me it wasn’t the right man. I did the work on it and I couldn’t come to a point and then…………

I spoke about it with my coach and went home, still not knowing what to do, bit of crying in the car…….. a friend of mine came by and I told her where it stops for me, where I couldn’t get through the problem so she said…………….. “YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE MARRIED THIS MAN..is that true????????…………………….”.

as soon i heard this question, I burst into a big laugh…..the reality was and is I AM MARRIED WITH THIS MAN and then she asked……..”who are you do when you don’t think this thought…………” Then the curtain went up and I started for the first time to see what this marriage has brought me ……..4 beautiful kids, home, a handsome man who stayed next to me durint all those bad times……..I started to see the good things.. for the first time in a long, long, long time

And I was so used to seeing all the negative things. I distracted me from him, so I lost myself, and my husband lost me, and we were both looking where i was .My mind wanted to see all the proofes of not having a good marriage………..oh what a bad time i had with this way of looking. really shocking.

My mind was my prison.

Questions 1 and 2 made me really laugh and question 3 ….I started to see how i created my own misery, and finding all the proofs and i could only see the bad times as proof.
Now I can see the opposite and am wondering how this changed my way of looking in only one shift. and not only in my marriage , but also in other ways.
the negative thoughts about myself are disappearing and I can feel myself coming out of my shelter.

But the big question now is ……………….I did the School in 2006….and after that, I still did……..but why didn’t i come to this simple point earlier this year?….. it is so really easy, why did I miss it all the time?………..

So now I have to get used to a life with nice points of views in my marriage and this feels rather funny.

Thank you for writing, dearest, and I don’t call it The Work for nothing! Daily maintenance can give a life of joy and understanding to all situations, in my experience and freedom to love is your birthright. I invite you to check into possibilities of enrolling in the Institute for The Work of Byron Katie. I developed this ongoing life school for those people who have been to the School for The Work and choose to do The Work as a daily practice. I like to say, “Do the work for breakfast and have a great life.” I am so very happy that you know how to find the way to your heart, husband, family, world, and peace. Thank you, angel. In love and gratitude for your humor, love, and light.

xoxo
kt