Thought Thursday: Mother You’ve Been Waiting For

On Parents and Children

You are the mother you’ve been waiting for. When you focus on your mother, you become motherless.   —Byron Katie

What are your thoughts?

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  1. Can someone explain this further? I’m really working through a lot of stuff my mother and I’d love to know what Katie meant by this. More specifically what is meant by “when you focus on your mother, you become motherless”. does that mean if you do the work regarding your mother that you won’t need a mother anymore? Thanks so much in advance.

  2. We are the “Mothers” we have been waiting for….Unconditionally Loving and totally Accepting us,children, for who we are right now, right here..!
    Unconditionally loving the SELF [self-love] without Judgements for all aspects of SELF-[ dark and light] !

    When we focus on our physical/ biological mothers we may not get to see that or experience that and may feel as Motherless or Hopeless..??

    We need to Grow Up in Self Love and do the Mothering for our own-self as we expect from physical mothers..???
    At least that’s what I felt!!

  3. Because it starts with, ‘you are the mother you’ve been waiting for’, I felt it means that if you focus too much on your mom, you are throwing responsibility, you lose your own motherhood (over yourself?and your children?)… You become motherless. I don’t know!

  4. “You are the mother you’ve been waiting for. When you focus on your mother, you become motherless.”

    My understanding of this statement is as follows –
    I am that mother / nurturer I have been waiting for or lack in my life. Focusing my energies, being mindful, I am that person.
    On the contrary, if I focus my energies on (judging) the dearth of ideal behaviors of my mother, it leaves me with a void and I make less of my mother !
    Not only that, I deprive me & others of my potential being that “ideal” mother.

    “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new” – Socrates

  5. Could it mean that noone can make me happy but me, nor can i make anyone happy but me, and the realization of this aloneness happiness-wise felt like an enormous relief to me.

  6. When we focus on our mother, we are in her business and not in ours and that can condition feelings of lonlinessbor motherlessness ……because there is no one over here looking after us …….even just focussing our sight where our face is taken to be creates peace ….this works beautifully in conjunction with The work ….question stressful thoughts about mother and then notice when you are in her business and not yours ….

    for me Douglas Hardings Headless Way has also helped with where to keep the attention for a more peaceful life….
    May we all see the truth

  7. My mother died unexpectedly. I’d spent most of my life judging her, feeling un-connected, but also responsible for her and for her happiness. I felt guilty that she bought me school uniform we could barely afford and vowed to myself one day to “pay her back” for it. I still felt she wan’t ‘good enough’ in her mothering. I barely expected it. Now I realise I was all in her business and not mine. It made me sad that she’s dies without reconciling this. Now I see – that’s still me trying to be in her business! I need to focus on mine and in relation to my own children.

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