Byron Katie on Love, Sex and Relationships

Byron Katie on Love, Sex and Relationships

The voice within is what I’m married to. All marriage is a metaphor for that marriage. My lover is the place that an honest yes or no comes from. That’s my true partner. It’s always there. And to tell you yes when my integrity says no is to divorce that partner.

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  1. Hi Katie!
    I’ve been doing my work with your amazing method, I’ve been watching your videos on youtube, listening your podcast and I really understand where my pain comes from, I do understand I’m suffering when I believe the movie I’m doing on my mind, It’s just I can’t get yet to make change my feels of anger and pain.

    My partner and I have been in a lot of failed relationships and since we start our own, we didn’t follow standard model of a relationship. I love to share with him my most guilty desires, I love he can trust that much in me to tell me anything. One of those things is his desire to have sex with other woman whenever he wants to, whenever he feels the need. He’s also very willing to accept the same from me. His explanation has a lot of sense for me, I do agree with the reasons, I do agree with the idea of being honest in everything, I do know you can have sex with other people who’s not your partner, just to feel free or like any other activity and is not because you don’t love your wife. I really understand his reasons, I’ve experimented it to before. He cheated his past couples, I did it too and I can understand perfectly the reasons and his motivation to build something different, something real and honest with me. I want to have a real relationship too, with all the trust and honesty. To share with him all I can’t with other people.
    We did it once, we agreed to have this experience to know how it would be. And when I did it, I really understood all about just sex and about what we have. But when he did it, I felt deeply hurt, even when it was something we agreed, and I’m being incapable to heal that.

    The problem are my feelings. Why If I can understand, why If i can agree with him with my reason, I felt so hurt and I can’t heal all the pain and anger I feel against him. And that hurts me a lot because I do love him, I do love what we are building.

    I would really appreciate your point of view. I’m so willing to not suffer, I really want to match my heart with my mind.

    Thanks so much

  2. Hi, this is maybe a too quick message for such a topic. But I think if you take the sentence I feel so hurt by him and you can not heal the pain and anger against him, if you turn it around it is you who feels so hurt by yourself, who willingly said yes to such an experiment. It is not about him. Life is about trying things and if they do not work for you to withdraw a decision made long time ago. Here the mind says its ok, I did it too, but the heart doesn’t understand such behaviour.
    This is just a personal note of mine. If this kind of lifestyle were normal we would all be openly living it. But on which values would we be living:-) One day we are mom and dads. Would you want you kids saying, oh well I don’t know where they are this evening, probably with the neighbour.
    Suffering starts with a thought. What happened has happened, but from now on you can make a point on how you would like your life to be. Life is pleasant, if you think pleasant. Heal your moment of deciding to say yes to this project and embrace the moment where you can change it.
    Be glad to know what you do not want, that is what thoughts are also for:-)

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