Letter: Losing a Child.

Dear Katie

I know you are very busy and lots of people are asking something of you. I am writing to you, because ‘something terrible has happened’ – the 6 year old girl of a friend of mine had what is called a freak accident, and she died yesterday. I am very touched by her death, and am writing down lots of beliefs about death, protection, safety, danger and so on, but somehow I absolutely cannot see how I can love that this happened. The idea of loving when somebody loses their child (even if it is only they who believe that) seems cruel and cold. Please can you tell me how one can move from accepting what is to actually loving it?

With buckets of gratefulness to you,

Byron Katie’s Judge- Your- Neighbor Worksheet

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  1. Dear Katie –
    You can imagine how often my tears flow quite suddenly – unwanted —
    My daughter who lives in England – I am on the East Coast in the U.S. –
    has terminal brain cancer – she has (my only) grandchild – a darling
    4-1/2 year old girl –
    When I think of my grandchild – losing her most beloved Mommy –
    I can only cry – Dear Katie – how will the child be told when her Mommy
    is gone — and then I think, how will my grandchild live with such trauma —
    I know that I have to carry this on my own –
    Do you have any thoughts for me? With love, Irmgard

    1. Dear Irmgard, I’m not Katie but it might help you to read my thoughts. I’ve lost my mom and I wish I got from the rest of my family what I wish for your grandchild: All what your grandchild will need is LOVE. It means to have all the family members to be there, either over Skype or letters. If it’s possible spend some of the holidays together, read books together, sing songs together, do creative things together or cook and bake together. You can do all this over Skype. Give happiness and joy and teach your grandchild, that life goes on, even if we lose someone. When my children asked me about my mom, I always told them, she is the brightest star and comes over night and sleeps during the day. With love, Sisa

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