VIDEO: “I Made a Wrong Decision”


Does stress follow you around the Workplace? And do you bring it home?

A man is afraid that no one will come to his event because he has given it the wrong name. He’s made the “wrong decision.”

Is it true?

Watch as he imagines the worst thing that could happen at his event and discovers the possibility of freedom, right here and right now.

On Keeping New Year’s Resolutions

Question:
Katie, Every year I make New Years Resolutions only to break them a month later and feel bad. How can the Work help me when I break my resolutions? Is there any point to making them in the first place?

Katie:
Let’s say I wanted to be a kinder human being toward my children and I find myself frustrated, losing my temper, and giving them “the look.”

I would identify what I was believing during that behavior. And after identifying my thoughts I would write them down on paper. I would do The Work on those thoughts and I would also do The Work on “I raised my voice to my children.”

Then I would make a list, from the prompt “I raised my voice to my children and that means that…”

…that means that I’m a terrible person.
…that means that I’m a loser.
…that means that I will never get it right.
…that means that they will never forgive me.
…that means that I hurt them.

Then I would ask the four questions and do the turnarounds on each thought.

And that is what I did do for a few years after 1986. I became a kinder human being with no necessity to make New Year’s resolutions.

What am I resolved to do? Just answer the questions that you’re asking and enjoy this conversation with you right now and love that it would serve others the way that this process has served me.

What are some of the underlying beliefs in your experience that cause you to break your resolutions?

Below are responses from candidates in the Institute for The Work, who have been answering this question this month, and then doing The Work on the underlying beliefs they’ve uncovered:

There’s something wrong with me.
Things need to happen for me this year.
I need to get my life back together this year.
I am incapable of real love.
I am overwhelmed.
I can’t make the right decision.
I have no control.
I should know better and done better.

Letter: Candidates Telling Lies

Dear Katie,

I have been watching the two candidates telling the American people about how they are more qualified than the other. I know they are both telling lies. And that makes me angry.

What happened to the truth?

How do you decide? How can you tell if what they’re saying is true? The media isn’t much help either. They seem biased.

I’m so sick of this charade, I’m thinking about not voting at all. What can I do to clear my mind? How can I use The Work to help me decide?

I don’t want to make a wrong decision.

Robert

Dearest Robert,

Politicians say many things to get elected. I would ask you to question their statements. One way to find out is to visit a site like factcheck.org. Both campaigns have referenced the site at various times, and it is interesting to learn what the truth is, according to factcheck. I have been told that the site is nonpartisan. If it feels right, take a look. And have you noticed the negative McCain and Obama within you?

And if you think that one of the candidates is causing you stress, I invite you to do a Worksheet on him or her. In reality no politician—no one outside you—can cause your stress. The only thing that can do that is an unquestioned thought. So write all those thoughts on paper and don’t hold back. “I don’t trust Obama because he’s too young.” “I don’t trust McCain because he’s too old.” Question them, see how you react when you believe them, see who you are without them, turn them around, find examples, and notice, are you more informed about what really matters? That is the way to a clear, peaceful mind that can make sensible choices that affect us all.

Love always,
kt

VOTE: The Work at the Polls

Dear Katie,
Do you participate in the political elections? Do you vote? I don’t want to know who you vote for, or what party you might be affiliated with, I’m just wondering if you vote.
Jane

Dearest Jane,
Absolutely. I love to vote! I take in as much television, radio, and magazine, newspapers as I possibly can, and all that information goes into me, synthesizes, and I vote with what comes out of all of that. I read and listen with this wonderful, open, don’t-know mind and then notice the choice. What could be more exciting than watching that choice, on time, in the voting booth!
Love,
kt

A Letter from Israel

Dearest Katie,

Today I went to the bank to have a talk with a new manager regarding my bank account and as we were talking she wanted to know what else I do besides working at the advertising agency so I told her a bit about you and the Work and she didn’t quite get it and asked for an example. So I asked her if there was anything troubling her and she said yes. There was something on her mind regarding one of her employees and she felt hesitant in how to approach them. So I suggested we do the Work on that and I walked her through the 4 questions and the turnarounds and she totally opened and I could tell it really made things clear for her. All of the sudden she asked me to hold on and she picked up the phone and got someone on the line and asked him to meet with me. Turns out he is in charge of all the organizational consulting/coaching at this national bank and more. She said to him she would like for him to interview me because she feels what I have to offer might be very useful. So now I have an appointment with him on Wednesday in regards to offering the Work at this bank. Isn’t that something? At the place where I work, since they do great power point presentations, I am thinking of creating one based on the small booklet to bring to this interview. What do you think, is the universe friendly or what??

What an interesting few days I’ve had.

The appointment with the coaching organization which the Bank Manager has recommended me to was set for this Sunday.

As I left my house, Sunday morning, to go to that meeting , I thought of you and carried you with me in the form of a warm sweet feeling in my heart. I hailed a cab, and from afar something sparkled at me from the driver’s face, I told him the address and half way there realized I left my cash at home in another purse. I didn’t know what to do-turn back to get my money–that would make me late for the meeting and yet how would I pay for the ride? I said something out loud and the driver turns to me and says: “Honey, the meeting is what matters and I’ll take you there, you don’t need to pay me , after the meeting I can pick you up again and you can pay me then”. “Thank you so much” I said, “but that means I’ll have no change on me at all throughout the day and I really need some change on me.” “that’s no problem” said the driver “I’ll give you some money and after work I’ll pick you up, bring you home where you left your money and then you’ll pay me.” Something about this man was so honest and real with no agenda whatsoever. I accepted. I got to the appointment on time, feeling so ready, so supported. I introduced myself to the CEO, he then asked my permission to invite 2 more people to the meeting ( which means it was already OK) and I had a chance to tell all of them about you and the Work and demonstrated it on them so that they can experience what it is, I told them what you said how people in the company can fill a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet on one another and I found myself talking of the value of the turnarounds and in what fantastic ways they serve us. At he end they said they were very impressed and are interested in moving forward and start by giving me a slot for a 3 and a half hour workshop in a transportation company that they are coaching right now and as they get to know me better more will come.

I was elated and realized I can now also set my own appointments in other places as well and go and present what I know. The driver waited downstairs and took me to work and then at the end of the day came to take me home and I paid him for all this. It was like the universe was saying that if I do what I love the support will come, whether it’s money, love, everything.

Yours,

Orly

How to Say “No”

Saying “no” is saying yes to you.

Listen to this interview with The Get it Done Guy, Stever Robbins.

Here are three examples >>

1. The boss asks that you skip some family time for work

S: Hi, Katie! I know it’s 3 o’clock Friday afternoon, but I just remembered I need the TPS report by Monday morning.
K: You know, actually, I’m unable to. I can’t. But I know there’s another way. Why don’t you call … so-and-so.
S: Oh, but Katie–I need YOU to do it.
K: You know, I hear that, and I’m unable to. Merry Christmas.
S: Surely, you could just do it tonight, after dinner.
K: You know, actually, I’m unable to. I can’t.
S: This is going to show up on your annual review.
K: I hear that, and I think that’s a very honest thing to do, because in reality, that’s correct.

2. A co-worker asks for a favor

S: …I have a hair appointment at lunch. Could you cover for me at the desk?
K: You know, actually, I’m unable to.
S: Oh, come on. I’ll cover for you next time.
K: You know, I really appreciate that. I’ll look forward to that for sure. And I’m unable to cover you on this one, but I know you’ll have a great time at the hair-dresser.
S: You’re not being a team player here!
K: You know, it really looks that way, doesn’t it? And of course, as we know, I am.

3. A teenager who wants the car

S: Hey Mom! Can I use your car to go to the movies?
K: No, actually, no.
S: All the other kids’ parents let them use the car.
K: Oh, my goodness, it’s true, isn’t it? You know, we really have different lives.
S: If you loved me, you’d let me use the car.
K: You know, it’s so interesting you would say that. You know, I love you with all my heart, and I’m not letting you use the car.
S: Mom, I hate you! I hate you! Everything in my life that’s wrong is wrong because of you.
K: Oh, honey. I’m so sorry you feel that way. I adore you.

Thank you, Stever.