Video: Introduction to The Work of Byron Katie—He Owes Me

He hasn’t paid child-support in six and a half years. Is it true? Watch as a wife and mother finds that she has the perfect husband and father of her children, if only her mind wouldn’t tell her otherwise. Her story is our story. Her many thoughts around the “unsettled” debt have made it impossible for her to see the person in front of her. Her turnarounds are deeply challenging and, for her, a powerful opening of the heart. To bring one turnaround home to each of us, Katie finds examples in her own life.

In this brief video, the four questions and turnarounds of The Work are clearly outlined for the concept “He owes me.” This is a wonderful reference tool for anyone who wants to understand The Work better, or for those just beginning to use The Work.

1.  Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
2.  Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
3.  How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4.  Who would you be without the thought?

Download the Facilitation Guide for helpful supporting questions: http://thework.com/sites/thework/downloads/worksheets/facilitationguide_Eng.pdf

Download a free intro to The Work: http://thework.com/sites/thework/downloads/little_book/English_LB.pdf

Do The Work:  http://thework.com/do-work

For the full length version: https://youtu.be/B1KpCZGWbL8

Thought Thursday: On Self-Realization

Only in this moment (which doesn’t exist) are you in reality. Everyone can learn to live in the moment, as the moment, to love what is in front of you, to live it as you. The miracle of love comes to you in presence of the uninterpreted moment. If you are mentally somewhere else, you miss real life —Byron Katie

What are you thoughts? Please share!

You can find more thoughts from Katie in her book, Question Your thinking, Change The World.

Video: Identity Theft and Kindness

Identity Theft and Kindness

A woman distraught that her identity has been stolen questions the thought “The thief is unkind to me.” Byron Katie guides her through inquiry to see how this thought affects many aspects of her well-being. When considering a turnaround to her original thought, the woman notices how unraveled she becomes when there is any stress in her life. “No,” she exclaims, “I was not panicked by the thief—I was panicked by my thinking.”

“When we really contemplate the judgments we make, we can see how they cost us our wisdom and our peace.”

Excerpt from a benefit event at Spirit Rock Meditation Center.

Why am I am angry at him for doing what I am laughing at you for doing?

From a School participant: “I was doing The Work with my partner yesterday, and I had a funny realization. Essentially we did the same Worksheet. In mine, I was the one who was angry (someone was feeding my kid junk) and in his, someone was angry at him (he was accused of feeding a kid junk), and I realized with all four people on the two Worksheets we were all just doing our best to love in the best way we knew how. Wouldn’t it be easier to just KNOW THAT and skip the Worksheets? Lol. And I’m still going to do the Worksheets.”

The Work in Latvia

Dearest Katie,

The first web event in Riga, Latvia, happened on Feb. 28th. This is the start of Riga’s The Work Center and preparation for the workshop in May, 2015. Margarita Liepina is the coordinator and the organizer (in the picture).

With gratitude and much love,
Bella

Dr. Bella Kit

 

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The Fourth Question

When I was about 20 years old, I felt myself being pulled to your book. I brought it with me on my holiday to Turkey, and when I read about the 4th question—”Who would you be without that thought?” —something exploded in my mind. I had never ever thought of that question, and it opened a whole new perspective in my mind. Thank you.

Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet

The Work Down Under

Dearest Katie,

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for joining us yesterday at The Work Down Under Intensive. It was such a gift and came as a complete surprise to the participants. They were thrilled 🙂 It was perfect.

We so appreciate your generosity in staying with us for an extra fifteen minutes!

Thank you, BKI team, for your part in making this happen.

With love and deepest gratitude from the Team Down Under:
Sally, Rosie, Valli, Gramya, Sheryn and Tanya xxxxxx

 

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The Work Down Under Event, 14–19 April 2015 at Govinda Valley, Otford, New South Wales (near Sydney). There were 38 participants, including our five Certified Facilitators and Institute for The Work of Byron Katie Certification candidates representing all the states in Australia (New South Wales, Victoria, Queensland, South Australia and Western Australia) and both the North and South Islands of New Zealand.

Thank You for The Work

I listen to BK now daily. I’ve been to therapy for years, after which I have studied on my own to help myself break the cycles of depression I find myself in. No one, in all my studies of 50 years, has “broken it down” as simply as Katie does. Each time I complete a Worksheet, I am filled with joy rather than the anger, frustration, or sadness that I was stuck in before “Working” it. She has also helped my son and some of his friends, all of whom are inmates in prison, who are now doing “The Work” too. So please, thank her for me, and for my son and his friends—all of whom, like me, needed profound teachings put so simply.

Sincerely,
Y

P. S. I’ve got the book Loving What Is on order, to view subjects like rape and physical abuse, which I can find no mention of on video, either on Katie’s site or on YouTube. If possible, would you ask her to do a visual on that subject with someone actually doing The Work? Some of us learn easier that way by seeing it done.

• • •
Dearest Y,

Good for your progress and sending much love to you, your son, and his friends. I love that they are breaking free from the prison of the mind, the only real prison to break free of.

Physical abuse: I suggest that you visualize a particular point in time when you were being raped or abused. Locate and focus on a moment of fear during the abuse and write your Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet from that moment in time as though it were happening now. When you have identified and written down the thoughts that you were believing in that terrible situation, question the thoughts on your Worksheet, using all four questions and turnarounds on each statement. Let me know what you discover, dearest.

Love without choice,
bk

Answers to an Interviewer

What does love mean?
Peace of mind. Connectedness.

How do you start your morning?
Amazed and then grateful for the beauty and miracle of life as it unfolds in the moment.

Who or what on the earth is inspiring you?
Gratitude that comes from the energy received in giving.

What makes you laugh?
Everything, really. To see is beyond delightful, and what shows from the outside? A mirror of the same.

What makes you cry?
Happiness. This state of love.

With what realization, feeling or prayer would you like to leave your body?
I already have.

What do you always take with you when you are traveling?
iPhone, iPad, water, comfortable shoes, steamed rice, veggies, and dried fruit to munch on.

What is your favorite time of your day and why?
Early morning (4:30-6 or so). It appears to be as quiet as my mind. The beautiful mind listening to itself.

Is there any significance in certain postures for spiritual worshiping and praying?
Whatever is natural, authentic, relaxed, and open to listening.

What on this earth gives you joy?
Nothing. Everything.

For what in your life are you grateful?
The creator of all life.

Video Games

Kind of a cool turnaround. My original thought was “EK, plays video games too much.” He’s 13 now and and the situation is his report card coming in and his grades being off and putting off doing his homework and resisting his mother and seeing many prior images of this. Everyone seems to agree, teachers, his doctor, family, stop his video games — it made so much sense logically but it hurt me every time I tried telling him to stop. So I did some mindful work on the thought using with The Work of Byron Katie. Asking 1. Is it True he plays too much? and 3. How do I react when I believe that thought? (how do I treat him, and treat myself with the thought?), and 4.Who would I be without the thought and then explore the opposites to see if they are more true than the original statement that he plays video games too much. One opposite that came to me is that “I don’t play video games enough.” This one cracked my chest and my eyes a bit…. what if I spent time with him playing video games? So I downloaded Clash of Clans and began playing and he immediately wanted us to start a clan together. He began teaching me his world of gaming… strategies, techniques, long term planning, farming, gathering other members and the life lessons began. He was able to be the teacher and the leader, I could feel the shift. Some friends of his joined another clan and he shared his feeling about it with me and we talked through it, new people joined, some used a lot of language and were aggressive to others in the clan –we talked through it and I watched his decisions… not as his dad –as his friend. Just about every day I noticed him sharing more and more, some of it very sensitive, privileged and personal… like when he was younger… I’d hear him tell his friends or his friends tell him about me being that dad that played video games with him and his friends. I hadn’t realized some separation that had snuck in with his teenage years and me being too far into his business. Over the break I was also able to talk to him about doing his homework, a little each day –in between our playing. I had a granular understanding of when breaks for school work would fit and very little resistance came. Another shift. We gamed together, we did homework together… so grateful to find this way with him. EK must have put 25 hours into this history project, a ninja dojo, much of it this past week. Working hand in hand, shopping, burning ourselves with glue guns… I’m broken open through this this and so grateful to be IN his clan and not clashing against it and I watch him more easily move out of the gaming world if I ask him to. I notice him spending more time around me and engaging me in discussion more often. I love the deep wisdom that reliably comes from mindfully looking at the opposites of stressful thinking. Such clear strength and wisdom and I am so grateful to know this process and to be able to facilitate myself through the adolescence of my thinking and to turn my advice to him around so I can parent myself to become the friend and father I want to be. I don’t know about tomorrow, but this week has been pretty amazing. Thoughts?

 

SK

 

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4 Questions to Change Your Life: An Interview With Byron Katie, Creator of ‘The Work’

A powerful practice of self-inquiry created by Byron Katie, The Work consists of four questions that can help you examine and dissolve the stress associated with your thoughts. She explains how in this interview.

 

Omega: The Work is a process of inquiry with the goal of ending suffering. How did you come up with it?

Katie: I was depressed for 10 years. Paranoid, agoraphobic, filled with self-loathing. Every day I wanted to die. For the last two years of that time, I could barely leave my bedroom.

Then one morning, as I lay sleeping on the floor in an attic room of a halfway house, a cockroach crawled over my foot. I opened my eyes, and in place of all that darkness was a joy I can’t describe.

What I realized in that moment was that when I believed my thoughts I suffered, and when I didn’t believe my thoughts, I didn’t suffer. I’ve come to see that this is true for every human being. In that moment, The Work was born.

Omega: What are the components of The Work?

Katie: The Work is a simple, very powerful process. It’s a way to identify and question the thoughts that are the cause of all the suffering in the world.

First, you write down the judgments you are thinking about other people, and then you put these judgments, one by one, up against the four questions of The Work.

  1. Is it true?
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  4. Who would you be without the thought?

Then you do what I call a “turnaround,” which is a way to experience the opposite of what you believe. Some of those opposites can wake you up to important truths that lie hidden within you.

Omega: You stress the importance of writing down the inquiry into each thought. Why is it important to put it on paper?

Katie: If you try to do The Work in your head, without putting your thoughts on paper using something like the Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet, the mind will outsmart you. Before you’re even aware of it, it will be off and running into another story to prove that it’s right.

But though the mind can justify itself faster than the speed of light, it can be stopped through the act of writing. Once the mind is stopped on paper, thoughts remain stable, and inquiry can easily be applied.

Omega: At some point does the process become second nature and the conscious effort to “do The Work” drop away?

Katie: Yes. Eventually, whenever a stressful thought arises, a wordless questioning arises along with it, and the thought unravels. Inquiry becomes alive in you as the natural, wordless response of awareness to any untrue thoughts that arise, until the point where such thoughts don’t even arise and the mind is completely at peace.

Omega: How are emotions and sensations–the things we feel in our body–incorporated into The Work?

Katie: The Work is meditation. I sometimes call it “mental yoga.” I invite people to meditate on each of the four questions.

For example, if you are believing “He doesn’t care about me,” and are meditating on the third question (“How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?”), in that silence you begin to notice the emotions that occurred in that situation.

You feel them rise from within, and mental images show you how you treat others and yourself when you believe that thought. You get to experience the separation that thought creates, and the emotions might include sadness, depression, resentment, or anger. I encourage people to be thorough and accurate when they’re answering this question.

Then with the fourth question (“Who would you be without that thought?”), people come to see what it would be like to experience a stressful situation without the thought that is creating the stress in the first place.

It’s truly amazing to see what is revealed in that quietness. It can be life-changing. Imagine how it would feel, what kind of person you would be, how you’d be treating other people and yourself, if you could see that person more clearly, with pure love, not believing your negative judgment of him or her.

Omega: Someone described The Work as “story UNtelling.” Is that an accurate description?

Katie: Yes, except that there is no conscious effort. Your stories unravel by themselves as you question them. When you stop seeking, the beauty concealed by the seeking becomes evident. What you wanted to find is what remains, beyond all stories.

Omega: What is left when we abandon our stressful thoughts?

Katie: Only gratitude and laughter.

Explore more in the category of Body, Mind, Spirit

© 2015 Omega Institute for Holistic Studies, Inc. All rights reserved.

 

You can find the Huffington Post article, here.

Shootings in Paris

The email below was submitted from the United Kingdom for a Conversation with Byron Katie webcast in regards to the events in Paris, France on 7 January 2015.

 

Q: How should the world react to the shootings in Paris this week?

Katie: Exactly the way they reacted. How did you react to the shootings in Paris?

Notice what you were thinking and believing. Were you able to stop what you were thinking, saying, doing, believing, in the moment you experienced it happening?

 

Q: How can we stop the response to it just creating more hate?

Katie: “The response is creating more hate”—is it true? Etc. Or is it not wiser that you look at your own responses, any response of hate, fear, etc. within you?

 


Q: Can religious extremists ever live peacefully side by side?

Katie: Is there someone in your life that you can’t live side by side with in total peace? I suggest that you begin there, dearest. If you can’t do it, why would you think that others can? Peace really is up to you. When do you begin? Always now.

 

For more information, visit thework.com