Bregman Leadership Podcast Inteview

Can you reduce the amount of suffering in your life just by asking a few specific questions? Peter Bregman started reading Loving What Is years ago. “The idea of accepting life as it is scared me, so I stopped reading the book. Recently I stepped into a workshop with Byron Katie, thinking to myself ‘How can a couple of questions make a big difference?’ but found the experience extremely powerful and now live with the daily awareness of how these simple questions can deeply impact our lives.”

The Bregman Leadership Podcast

 

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Podcast: I’m Disappointed in Her—The Work of Byron Katie

I’m Disappointed in Her—The Work of Byron Katie

A man whose baby has died struggles with listening to his wife complain about work. His thoughts are “Her world view is rubbish,” “She needs to not care about work,” and “How can she think about work when our baby is dead?” At the core of his inquiry is the belief “She behaved in a way that made our baby Sophia’s death more likely.” MAN: She waited and waited and waited before having a child, and that made it more likely that the child would die. BK: “Her behavior made Sophia’s death more likely”–can you absolutely know that that’s true? MAN: No. BK: And how do you react when you believe that thought? MAN: I feel broken. Snapped. Blocked. Like I can’t go on. BK: How do you treat her in that situation when you believe that thought? You’re looking at her, but you’re seeing the woman who killed your child. MAN: I’m not truthful with her. I’m pretending everything’s okay. I’m screaming “no” inside, and “This is rubbish!” I feel aggressive and hopeless. BK: You believed she shouldn’t wait so long to have a child. And she believed she needed to wait. She’s just like you, and you’re blaming her for being just like you. You’re both guilty of believing your thoughts–that’s all. If you prefer to suffer, go on believing your stressful thoughts. But if you’d rather be happy, question them.

Podcast: My Mother Doesn’t Want to Know Me

 

A woman does The Work on a moment in time when she was texting with her estranged mother. Her belief at that moment is “My mother doesn’t want to know me.”

BK: We’re meditating on “She doesn’t want to know me”—is it true?” The answer is always one syllable: yes or no. Notice the other thoughts that arise around this, and gently go back to the question. Do you see images of you and her in the past and the future? Is that you or imagination?

Together, they question statements like “I want my mom to acknowledge me,” “I want her to admit that she screwed up,” “She should apologize for the past,” “She shouldn’t expect me to parent her,”and “She should admit she’s a psychopath.”

“You cannot experience rage unless you’re in a movie.” —Byron Katie

Podcast: Something Terrible is Going to Happen—Interview: Byron Katie

Byron Katie speaks with Deborah Beauvais of the “Love by Intuition” show on 1510 AM WMEX Boston. Katie describes, in detail, her experience of awakening and the beginning of The Work. Then she guides Deborah in doing The Work on the thought “Something terrible is going to happen.”

DEBORAH: Could you share a little bit about what woke you up? I know that you had thoughts of suicide for years.

KATIE: I was so depressed for more than a decade, and was also agoraphobic. To be a shut-in, and stuck with what’s in your head with no way out, was hell.

Then, there was a moment without a thought. There was no I–no experience of a self–just this identification-less space. And then I became aware of the thoughts that arose, and I began to laugh. I noticed that prior to the thoughts, I experienced what they call “the peace that passeth all understanding.” Afterward, once comparison returned, I saw that this state of mind was heaven. Just prior to the mind’s arising, nothing had a name. This experience in and of itself is not important, but what came out of it was the clear realization that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, and when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer. And out of that realization, came a way to question who and what we are with our stories. And who would we be without our stories?

DEBORAH: We tend to gravitate to suffering, like it’s in our DNA.

KATIE: That suffering is how we stay identified. It’s how the ego exists.

DEBORAH: Do we feel first when we have a thought, or are we having thoughts first and then feel?

KATIE: We’re more aware of our feelings first, but when we get still enough to notice, you may see, as I have, that we think first, then images of past and future happen so quickly that we don’t even realize that they’re happening. So it’s think, feel, act, have. I refer to this as the order of creation; the creation of your own world.

“When it argues with reality, the ego is up against the greatest power in the world: love.” —Byron Katie

Podcast: An Interview with Soren Gordhamer

Byron Katie and Soren Gordhamer discuss bringing inquiry to our thoughts about politics. 

Soren: The recent election has triggered us in many different ways. We typically ignore or react to these triggers, but what is a third way that can create a new world, rather than the division we currently experience? We can begin by questioning our thoughts, but if I don’t believe the stressful thought, can I still fight for the things I feel a need to fight for?

BK: I wanted to change the world, so I questioned what I believed about the world, and the world changed. In other words: I wanted to change the world, so I questioned my judgments, assumptions, and beliefs about the world, and the world changed, as my mind made the shift. 

The universe is friendly, but what we’re thinking and believing about the world may not be. —Byron Katie

To listen to the full podcast, click below.

Wisdom 2.0: Politics with Soren Gordhamer

Podcast: Wisdom 2.0: Embodiment Lounge with Eillen Fisher

Eileen Fisher speaks with Byron Katie about The Work and its relationship to the body. 

BK: All four questions are an invitation to get still and meditate to witness what arises. The experience in the body can be anything from slight discomfort to terror, in response to the “one-man show” playing in your mind.

Eileen: I have trouble with anxiety. 

BK: Let’s look at anxiety. I invite Eileen and everyone to find a moment in time, a situation, when you were experiencing anxiety.  When you find the moment, notice what you were thinking and believing. What judgments were happening as you experienced the anxiety? So all we are doing really is meditating on a moment in time. It takes stillness. It doesn’t matter when the moment occurred; just get still enough to notice what you were thinking, imagining, and believing.

Eileen: I notice the thought “I’m not good enough.”

BK (to the audience): Familiar? Is there anyone who has not experienced the thought “I’m not good enough”?  (Laughter.)

Katie proceeds to guide Eileen and the audience through the four questions and turnarounds on this common thought to rediscover the clarity within each of us.

It’s not life that is causing stress within us; it’s what we believe about life. –Byron Katie

To listen to the podcast, click below.

Wisdom 2.0: Embodiment Lounge with Eileen Fisher