Podcast: I’m Disappointed in Her—The Work of Byron Katie

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I’m Disappointed in Her—The Work of Byron Katie

A man whose baby has died struggles with listening to his wife complain about work. His thoughts are “Her world view is rubbish,” “She needs to not care about work,” and “How can she think about work when our baby is dead?” At the core of his inquiry is the belief “She behaved in a way that made our baby Sophia’s death more likely.” MAN: She waited and waited and waited before having a child, and that made it more likely that the child would die. BK: “Her behavior made Sophia’s death more likely”–can you absolutely know that that’s true? MAN: No. BK: And how do you react when you believe that thought? MAN: I feel broken. Snapped. Blocked. Like I can’t go on. BK: How do you treat her in that situation when you believe that thought? You’re looking at her, but you’re seeing the woman who killed your child. MAN: I’m not truthful with her. I’m pretending everything’s okay. I’m screaming “no” inside, and “This is rubbish!” I feel aggressive and hopeless. BK: You believed she shouldn’t wait so long to have a child. And she believed she needed to wait. She’s just like you, and you’re blaming her for being just like you. You’re both guilty of believing your thoughts–that’s all. If you prefer to suffer, go on believing your stressful thoughts. But if you’d rather be happy, question them.




Katie’s new book, A Mind At Home With Itself

Related Links:

My Daughter Was Killed in a Car Accident—The Work of Byron Katie

Podcast: My Mother Doesn’t Want to Know Me

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A woman does The Work on a moment in time when she was texting with her estranged mother. Her belief at that moment is “My mother doesn’t want to know me.”

BK: We’re meditating on “She doesn’t want to know me”—is it true?” The answer is always one syllable: yes or no. Notice the other thoughts that arise around this, and gently go back to the question. Do you see images of you and her in the past and the future? Is that you or imagination?

Together, they question statements like “I want my mom to acknowledge me,” “I want her to admit that she screwed up,” “She should apologize for the past,” “She shouldn’t expect me to parent her,”and “She should admit she’s a psychopath.”

“You cannot experience rage unless you’re in a movie.” —Byron Katie

Related Links:

Katie’s new book, A Mind At Home With Itself.

My Daughter Won’t Forgive Me—The Work of Byron Katie

My Mother Shamed Me—The Work of Byron Katie

Podcast: An Interview with Soren Gordhamer

Byron Katie and Soren Gordhamer discuss bringing inquiry to our thoughts about politics. 

Soren: The recent election has triggered us in many different ways. We typically ignore or react to these triggers, but what is a third way that can create a new world, rather than the division we currently experience? We can begin by questioning our thoughts, but if I don’t believe the stressful thought, can I still fight for the things I feel a need to fight for?

BK: I wanted to change the world, so I questioned what I believed about the world, and the world changed. In other words: I wanted to change the world, so I questioned my judgments, assumptions, and beliefs about the world, and the world changed, as my mind made the shift. 

The universe is friendly, but what we’re thinking and believing about the world may not be. —Byron Katie

To listen to the full podcast, click below.

Wisdom 2.0: Politics with Soren Gordhamer

Podcast: Wisdom 2.0: Embodiment Lounge with Eillen Fisher

Eileen Fisher speaks with Byron Katie about The Work and its relationship to the body. 

BK: All four questions are an invitation to get still and meditate to witness what arises. The experience in the body can be anything from slight discomfort to terror, in response to the “one-man show” playing in your mind.

Eileen: I have trouble with anxiety. 

BK: Let’s look at anxiety. I invite Eileen and everyone to find a moment in time, a situation, when you were experiencing anxiety.  When you find the moment, notice what you were thinking and believing. What judgments were happening as you experienced the anxiety? So all we are doing really is meditating on a moment in time. It takes stillness. It doesn’t matter when the moment occurred; just get still enough to notice what you were thinking, imagining, and believing.

Eileen: I notice the thought “I’m not good enough.”

BK (to the audience): Familiar? Is there anyone who has not experienced the thought “I’m not good enough”?  (Laughter.)

Katie proceeds to guide Eileen and the audience through the four questions and turnarounds on this common thought to rediscover the clarity within each of us.

It’s not life that is causing stress within us; it’s what we believe about life. –Byron Katie

To listen to the podcast, click below.

Wisdom 2.0: Embodiment Lounge with Eileen Fisher