ByronKatie.com

I just received an email with this question: "What's the difference between the School for The Work and The Work?"

The Work is offered at no charge through many events, thework.com web site, and the booklet An Excerpt from Loving What Is.

The School for The Work on the other hand, is a nine-day event. It's for people who are tired of their suffering, people who long for freedom, who really want to know the truth and are ready for peace.

In the School for The Work, I take people through every nightmare I ever experienced. (No nightmare is foreign; we carry them all inside us.) I show them how to walk themselves through every one of their own fears, until they are confident that they have the key to the end of their own suffering alive within them. If they have a problem, real or imagined (all problems are imagined), we work with it. I take them into the depths of hell and out again. We travel. All are welcome, and I love that my staff is entirely made up of earlier participants in The School.

Imagine the most painful experiences you've ever had—with your parents, your partner, your friends, your children.

Now imagine your life without that pain.

How would things be different? What if you no longer felt attached to your fears, your self-judgments, or your disappointments? What if, for the rest of your life, you couldn't play the victim, and you even welcomed problems?

The School makes this a possibility. Only you can decide how The School will change your life. The deeper you go in, the more your world changes.

On the first evening, I sometimes ask the participants what they want to take home from The School. They say things like "I want peace of mind" or "I want to be free" or "I want to be a more loving person" or "I want to be less anxious about my problems" or "I want to be less self-absorbed" or "I want to live without fear" or "I want to be happy, whether I have a lover or not."

By the end of The School, they all say that they have found a way of to end their suffering, and that they got even more than what they originally wanted. People come out so changed that their families are entirely grateful and often astounded. The Work has awakened within every participant who comes with an open mind, and there is nothing that they can do to shut it down. Once the four questions are alive inside you, your mind becomes clear, and therefore the world you project becomes clear. This is more radical than anyone can possibly imagine.

You can listen to an MP3 clip in which staff members, a recent graduate of The School, and I answer questions about the School for The Work. I facilitate The Work with a women on her anger at God and with a man on his frustration with his wife's blaming.

The next School for The Work is being held October 20-29 in Los Angeles, California. Click here for details >>

Become mindful of how often your conversations focus on the past or future.

Be aware of the verbs you use: was, did, will, are going to, etc. To speak of the past in the present is to reawaken and recreate it fully in the present, if only in our minds, and then we are lost to what is present for us now. To speak of the future is to create and live with a fantasy.

If you want to experience fear, think of the future.

If you want to experience shame and guilt, think of the past.

Just focus on the dishes in front of you.

"Doing the dishes" is a practice of learning to love the action that is in front of you. Your inner voice or intuition guides you all day long to do simple things such as doing the dishes, driving to work, or sweeping the floor. Allow the sanctity of simplicity. Listening to your inner voice and then acting on its suggestions with implicit trust creates a life that is more graceful, effortless, and miraculous.

The miracle of now.

Terrorism at the World Trade Center: A Dialogue in Cambridge, September 13, 2001

I was scheduled to be in New York on 9/11/01. The morning I was to travel from Long Island, the planes hit the towers, bridges were closed and highways shut down before I could enter the city. I was free, however, to get to my event in Cambridge two days later. I worked with a woman who was terrified. She gave voice to the fears that many people were feeling. Amazingly, by the end of our dialogue, she was smiling. Her whole attitude had changed. Stephen and I wanted to include this dialogue in Loving What Is, but our publisher said that it was too hard for most people to believe. They wouldn't accept that such a major transformation could happen so quickly.

Deborah: I'm afraid that this is the beginning of the end. Our lives will become a living hell. We'll suffer just like all the people we've seen on TV. The terrorists will continue; we can't stop them. We have too many enemies. We've brought this on ourselves. Everyone hates us because we're Americans, we're rich, we have freedom. I might lose my life, my kids, my grandkids. I might never see them again. We're just at the beginning of the attack. Wait till they start chemical warfare.

Katie: Thank you, sweetheart. You're giving voice to many people's thoughts about what happened on Tuesday. Now let's look at what you've written, one thought at a time. This is the beginning of the end-is that true?

Deborah: It could be.

Katie: Can you absolutely know that that's true?

Deborah: No.

Katie: How do you react when you think the thought "This is the beginning of the end"?

Deborah: I get really scared and sad.

Katie: And then where does your mind go? Where does it travel when you think the thought "This is the beginning of the end"?

Deborah: It accelerates scary thoughts. I start thinking that I'll never see my family again.

Katie: That's what has to happen, because mind's job is to prove that it's right. When you believe the thought "This is the beginning of the end," you have to deny everything else that you see that's evidence to the contrary, and you have to be very selective. Does this thought bring peace or stress into your life?

Deborah: Oh, it's a very stressful thought.

Katie: Who would you be without that thought?

Deborah: Someone who can enjoy things.

Katie: That's really nice because there are a lot of things to enjoy. But only in reality. You hear the sounds of the people singing outside this church, you see the lights, the candle burning, the flowers in the vase, and if that's not enough, you have the smells, your feet on the floor, the people sitting beside you. Reality right here is really fine. It feels much nicer than the trip you just took into the end of the world. So, what I am learning from you-and I see you as an expert-is that with the thought, you experience stress as though two planes have crashed into your building and you collapse, and without the thought, you stand. So, how can anything that happens be responsible for your stress or your peace? "This is the beginning of the end"-how would you turn that around?

Deborah, laughing: What happened is the end of the beginning. I'm not sure what that means.

Katie: Feel it. I see that, whatever it means, it brings laughter to your face.

Deborah: Yeah. The end of the beginning… Well, something new is happening. It's the end of that. That disaster actually ended on Tuesday. I feel a little guilty saying that.

Katie: Of course, because you're a traitor to the story that causes suffering. You're not going to be very popular in the world. [The audience laughs.] You're going to be very happy, but you won't have a lot of friends in the government. Who would you be without the story? A vibrant listener, because there's no terrorist attacking you from the inside. A thought appears: "This is the beginning of the end." And without investigation, you're terrorized, you're war-torn. It was just a thought. We don't know how to meet our inner terrorists. Until we can meet these thoughts with unconditional love, we're going to suffer in the name of the world. Let's hear your next thought.

Deborah: Our lives will become a living hell.

Katie: "Our lives will become a living hell"-is that true?

An uncomfortable feeling is not an enemy.

It’s a gift that says, "Get honest; inquire."

We reach out for alcohol, or television, or credit cards, so we can focus out there and not have to look at the feeling. And that's as it should be, because in our innocence we haven't known how.

So now what we can do is reach out for a paper and a pencil, write the thought down, and investigate.

Participant: I’m hurt by K**** because he left me.

Katie: So “He left you”—is that true?

Participant: Not really; in my heart he is there all the time.

Katie: So how do you react when you think the thought “He left me”? What happens? You're living your life, you're very happy, and then the thought hits, “Crrrrgh!”—“He left me.”

Participant: I feel inferior, or worthless. I feel very much alone, helpless, and I just don't know what to do.

Katie: And I would put “I don't know what to do” on a separate piece of paper, and Work it later. So, “He left me”—who would you be without that thought? Who are you without that thought as you live your life?

Participant: I feel free, secure, content.

Katie: So close your eyes. Now watch you, going to the market, doing the dishes, without the thought “He left me.” What do you see? Watch your life.

Participant: I see many people, and I join with them in a very good time, and I have freedom inside.

Katie: Yes, you have your life back.

Participant: Yes.

Katie: “He left me”—turn it around.

Here's an article from the Japan Times about Nina and Ashik Peter Lynch as they move The Work in Japan. I can't thank them enough.

The Work: Four Questions for a Peaceful Mind
By Angela Jeffs

Nina Lynch and her husband, Ashik, share The Work of Byron Katie, a simple method to change our views of our lives from negative to positive, and so make better lives.

As Nina explains: "[Byron Katie] was able to see that her suffering continued as long as she believed her stressful thoughts, and when she questioned them she discovered that reality, truth, or 'that which is,' was much kinder and more benign than she'd been experiencing." In that realization, Byron Katie found a simple technique based on four questions that can be used by anyone to question their thoughts and radically change their lives. She calls it The Work.

Nina found The Work while staying in Kyoto some years ago. "A friend gave me Byron Katie's book Loving What Is. Having read it, I did The Work, then attended workshops, and the nine-day intensive School with Katie in Los Angeles."

Since then Nina has staffed Katie's schools and weekend workshops and takes every opportunity to participate in her events as well as working as a volunteer on the hotline, which is available to anyone through Katie's Web site. "If you have stress in your life, if you worry about money, if you have relationship issues, are depressed, unhappy, are an unsatisfied seeker of truth, or are in any way discontented with your life, The Work is for you.

"It's changed my life," she continues. "I'm a happier, more productive person and I know that life is kind and good to me. My deepest wish is to share The Work with anyone who wants to experience truth and be free from suffering."

Nina does sessions and worldwide teleclasses of The Work from her home. After introducing The Work informally to small groups in Tokyo in July, she and Ashik will be presenting The Work at Circle of Light in Tokyo's Ogikubo on Sept. 17, and then will facilitate a weekend workshop in Omote-sando on the 23rd and 24th, "The Way to a Peaceful Mind." The workshop will be primarily in English, though there will be Japanese translators available, and Nina and Ashik can be helpful in Japanese, German, French and Spanish if necessary.

"We're available in Tokyo from Sept. 15th to the 30th for in-person sessions, for individuals, groups and couples, and we do phone sessions, both classes and individually, with people from all over the world. For the teleclasses we use Skype Internet telephony."

Nina has always been a seeker. Her first memory of looking for answers was when at age 11 she went to every church in her hometown of Oxford, England, asking how to find God.

From then until now, Nina has not stopped searching "for myself, for peace of mind, enlightenment, whatever you call it." She began the study of meditation in India 30 years ago, and it's been a part of her daily life ever since. Since India she has traveled all over Europe and North America, where she now makes her home, and lived in Japan for four years.
"When I met Byron Katie and started to do The Work daily, my internal and external life totally changed. It is the key that I needed to unlock my meditation. Now my mind is clearer, stress is disappearing, joy is abundant."

Nina continues to do The Work on an everyday basis. Personally I learned how after commenting on a statement she made in an e-mail, "This house is a wonderful sanctuary up here in the mountains and it helps to make my life much easier," and asked her, "Why did you feel your life was hard?" Her reply gave me an idea of how The Work works, just four questions followed by a turning around of the original thought to its opposite:

"My life is hard. Is that true?

"Yes, sometimes I feel it is.

“Can I absolutely know that it is true?

"No, I can't know that it's true beyond any doubt at all.

"How do I react when I think that thought?

"I think of the things that I think are difficult, like: getting enough money, my feet hurt sometimes because I have stiff joints in my toes and sometimes it is harder to walk than other times, then that means I put on more weight and am not so healthy. Sometimes I think that living with Ashik is hard because, like me, he's not always easy. Or I think that life in America is hard because of all the negatives I can so easily get into . . . and so on, so I can end up feeling more unhappy."

Nina now turns her stressful thought around to its opposite: "Who would I be without that thought?

"I'd see my comfortable bed that I sleep on, that I slept on really well last night. I would see a fridge full of food, vegetables growing in the garden, friends close by who I trust, and we're supportive and helpful to each other. My blood family, though they live far away, don't give up on me, and one of my sisters is coming to visit soon. I'd see how many things are actually fine and perfect as they are and I'd feel full of gratitude."

Nina then looks for at least three examples of this opposite, which turn out to be actual examples of how reality is different, and more peaceful, than the stories her mind had decided to attach itself to:

"One, my life is easy, because I have a wonderful man in my life who is currently fixing the lights in our living room, something that I can't do, and it would take me a lot of time and energy to learn, so it's very convenient that he does it.

"Two, I have always been taken care of; it was only my thinking that said life was hard. For example, though I grew up being poor in England, we never starved, we always had enough.

"Three, when I first went to live in Japan, and arrived with no language and no money, people offered help, gave me a place to stay, took care of me."

Nina believes The Work can be just as much a powerful tool toward healing in Japan as in the English-speaking world. She is producing a Japanese edition of extracts from Katie's book, which is already available as a download from Katie's Web site.

Nina quotes Katie as saying that there are only three things we actually do in life: sit, stand or lie horizontal. All the rest is a story.

"The Work always leaves you with less of a story. Who would you be without your story? You never know until you inquire. There is no story that is you or that leads to you. Every story leads away from you. Turn it around, undo it. You are what exists before all stories. You are what remains when the story is understood."

Download this discussion from The School (mp3 file) >>

The Work is not about shame and blame.

It’s not about proving that you are the one in the wrong or forcing yourself to believe that someone else is in the right. The power of the turnaround lies in the discovery that everything you think you see on the outside is really a projection of your own mind. Everything is a mirror image of your own thinking.

Once you have learned to go in for your own answers and opened yourself up to the turnarounds, you’ll experience this for yourself. In discovering the innocence of the person you judged, you’ll come to recognize your own innocence.

Practice reporting events to yourself as if a circumstance you find yourself in were actually a news story and you were the roving reporter.

Announce exactly what your surroundings are and what’s happening “on the scene” at that very moment.

Fear is always the result of an unquestioned past imagined as a future.

If you’re afraid, find the core belief and ask yourself, “Is it true that I need to be fearful in this situation? What is actually happening right now, physically? Where is my body (hands, arms, feet, legs, head)? What do I see (trees, walls, windows, sky)?”

Impersonalizing our stories gives us an opportunity to look at circumstances more objectively and determine our responses to what life brings. Believing our untrue thoughts is a good way to scare ourselves to death.

Dying is just like living. It has its own way, and you can’t control it. People think, “I want to be conscious when I die.” That’s hopeless. Even wanting to be conscious ten minutes from now is hopeless. You can only be conscious now. Everything you want is here in this moment.

I like to tell a story about a friend of mine who was waiting for a revelation just before he died, saving his energy, trying to be completely conscious. Finally his eyes widened, he gasped, and he said, “Katie, we are larvae.” Profound awareness on his deathbed. I said, “Sweetheart, is that true?” And the laughter simply poured out of him. The revelation was that there was no revelation. Things are fine just as they are; only a concept can take that away from us. A few days later he died, with a smile on his face.

from A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are

One time I came back from a trip and everything was stolen.

I loved it.

I couldn't find one true thought about needing anything.

As I stood there, Paul, my husband at the time, was very upset. He still believed these things were his, although they already belonged to someone else. He suffered and suffered.

Just mention the holidays and it’s enough to send some people’s stress levels off the charts.

If this describes you during the holidays, it may help to know that you can call the HOTLINE service any time.

The hotline is for people who want to have a one-on-one experience with The Work now, and is offered at no charge by skilled and extraordinarily generous facilitators who have completed the nine-day School for The Work. These facilitators are available 24 hours a day to assist you with their love, dedication, and clarity.

Those of us who chase after money to find happiness never have enough. And in the process we create stress for ourselves and for others around us. Sometimes we worry ourselves sick.

Those of us who see money as unspiritual have trouble charging for our services or feel guilty when we do make money. This is the flip side of greed, and it is just as painful. What stories we assign to pieces of paper!

Rich or poor, we believe the same stories over and over again. Isn’t it time for you to end that suffering?

Financial freedom is not about manifesting new cars or high-paying jobs. It is about being absolutely secure and loving whatever reality brings you.

The truth is that you're supposed to have exactly as much money as you have right now. No more, no less.

How do you know when you're supposed to have more? When you do.

How do you know when you're supposed to have less? When you do.

Realizing this is true abundance. It leaves you without a care in the world.

However much money you have, do you love it yet? If not, I look forward to seeing you in Los Angeles in January...

Participant: I’m mad at me because these days I don't succeed in earning my living on my own.

Katie: Is that true? “You don't earn a living on your own”—is that true?

Participant: I’m supported by my husband, and there's scarcely anyone in my practice these days.

Katie: So sweetheart, do you make your husband support you?

Participant: Yes.

Katie: So he does not have a choice?

Participant: Yes, he has a choice.

Katie: Yes. He doesn't have to support you. So “You are not making a living on your own”—is that true? Few people come to your practice, your husband never has to support you, and you're supported—on your own!

Participant: Right now, I’m so much in my mind.

Katie: And are you supported?

Participant: I am supported, yes.

Katie: So “You're not supported on your own”—is that true?

Participant: I can't understand right now.

Katie: Okay . . . so, thank you. Who would like to do The Work? And I hope everyone in this audience just did “I am not supported on my own.” Is there anyone in this room that has never been supported? Including you, sweetheart? I invite everyone in this room to find one time when you were not supported. It's not possible. There's no time in your life when you have not been supported. I’ve never met any human being that can find one moment that they were not supported. On your own! With or without a job. Can anyone find one moment when they were not supported? [Pause] I can't either. So sweetheart, sit with it for a little while and we can come back to you. Because I hear from you that you’re having trouble putting it together.

Participant: I’m afraid of not being able to financially keep up my existence. I’m mad at me because I don’t succeed at standing on my own feet financially. I reproach myself for not having sought a job during the year of separation that would provide a living for me. And I don't forgive myself for having spent the money I got from my husband—the biggest part of it.

If this describes you during the holidays, it may help to know that you can call the HOTLINE service, offered at no charge by skilled facilitators who have completed the Nine-day School for The Work. These facilitators are available 24 hours a day to assist you with their love, dedication, and clarity.

The following is a list of the stressful holiday thoughts which we got from our vets. We had them draw 3 thoughts each out of a "treat jar," pair up, and apply the 4 questions and the turnarounds.

Love,
Jean

I have to go home.

I have to do all the work.

I don’t have a family.

I might not behave.

I have to buy gifts. (I have to have money for gifts.)

I have to be around people.

They might ask me to do something.

I don’t have enough money.

I won’t feel anything (joy).

I’m not being helpful.

I’ll be depressed.

I’ll be alone.

Shopping is a pain.

Cooking is a chore.

All the drunks will be on the road.

I’ll miss my family.

My mom died on Christmas.

I won’t be straight on Christmas.

I have to see family I don’t like.

I have to lie (about Christmas).

I can’t give them what they want.

The white Christmas doesn’t come. (It’s supposed to snow on Christmas.)

I can’t go home (and see certain family members).

I’m not wanted.

I have no input.

I will be judged.

Taking time off from work will put me behind.

I can’t participate.

I should have prepared for the holiday.

I have no girlfriend to share the holiday with.

They’ll be upset with me.

I wish the whole family could be together.

It takes too long to get there.

I might run out of booze.

I have to listen to my mom complain.

I have to stay longer than I want to.

The weather will be lousy.

I might steal the presents.

I have nothing to wear.

My friend was murdered on Thanksgiving eve. (I was supposed to be there.)

I haven’t talked to my family in a while.

The hospital is the loneliest place on a holiday.

They can’t be here. (We won’t be together.)

Talking on the phone makes me upset (miss them more).

I’ll miss my kids.

I have to go into detox. (I have to wait to get into Cat-5.)

I might use.

My family will think I’m relapsing.

I’ll be depressed if I can’t go home.

I’ll spend more money dining out and eating.

I can’t spend time with my kids. (They’re locked up.)

I have to go into my savings to purchase gifts.

Everyone should get together.

They’re not around. (I wish my family was around.)

I have to remember. (It’s disrespectful—it means I don’t care.)

I’ve never had a sober Christmas.

I can’t give my son what I would like.

I’m always the one giving. (I’d like to receive.)

Nobody thinks about me.

I can’t celebrate. (She died on Christmas.)

I have to shop.

Holidays are another reason to get high.

It’s too much.

It has to be perfect.

Everyone has to get along.

I have to get the right thing for everyone or they won’t love me.

I have to like my gifts.

I’m supposed to like my gifts. (People should know what I like.)

Here's an e-mail I received from John, along with my response:

I often wonder why if I speak the truth to someone else when a friend passes away—for example, if I say to them "It must have been time. How do I know he's supposed to die? Because he did”—why do people get so angry?

Thanks, John

Dearest John,

Oh my goodness, you are so very funny!

Most people have very fearful beliefs about death as well as about life. People are very afraid of losing the people that they love, because they don't yet understand what you have come to understand, and hearing your comments they quite possibly could perceive you as cruel, heartless, uncaring, cold, out of touch, or freaky.

As long as people believe their fearful thoughts about life, death, themselves, and life without their loved ones, your honesty might sound crazy to them.

Most people don't yet understand that God is entirely good. They are still mentally dictating to God and agreeing among themselves that it is only right to do war with the ultimate power of the universe. In other words, not everyone understands or trusts that the universe is not only friendly but perfect in every way without exception and that it always gives without taking. This is difficult for the immature mind to grasp.

People who believe their unquestioned thoughts cannot see what is obvious and directly in front of their faces at all times, because they are invested in what they believe to be true. As long as they live out of an unquestioned mind, they must continue to argue with what they believe is happening rather than the reality of what is really happening.

To the unquestioned mind, perfection is a myth; people who believe their unquestioned thoughts don’t see that the world is perfect exactly as it is, so they must remain at war with reality. Even their sadness is a tantrum; they are still at war with God, and most people are still immature enough to argue with the power of what made a universe and can and does often stop it, without evidence of its ever having existed. All fear is the evidence of an unquestioned mind.

Are you still afraid at times, John? I love that you know the power that is within you and is everything and that The Work, the four questions with your answers, is the key to that power, the beneficent power of the all and the key to your dear open fearless heart.

You are so funny, John. Do you remember when a statement like the one you speak of would have shocked and unsettled you? If you do, then you can understand that these people's minds are believing what you used to believe. Have mercy, angel. It is enough to be free, and when your truths pop out of your mouth innocently and without motive, your experience as well as their experience is just right and on time.

There's no mistake in the universe. Thank you for your innocence and enlightenment, John. If anything you say seems to be harsh, investigate and see if you had a motive in saying it, apologize, and begin again. Otherwise, you are not the doer at all.

Loving you,
kt

Dearest Katie,

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever know that I would become what I am becoming. There are no words to say what is going on inside me. I am dancing a dance beyond what I could imagine. This morning I actually was dancing to some music, just me and the world, and I felt the deepest of joys and freedom. Because of The Work in my life. How can I ever thank you enough. Some of my friends stopped doing the work along the way, they got busy, thought maybe it was "over the top" or not for them and that is wonderful. But for me, I am "laughing all the way to the bank"...as they say! The work has only given me love I never knew.

You say "just when you think it can't get any better, it has too." YES. It is true. And I am just an ordinary woman! Katie, I get more and more of what you have every day.

Going into the grocery is the most amazing experience now because I feel so safe in the world and among true family wherever I go. I look into the eyes of the man who gets the carts and help him, I see the people and I am home with them all, watching them shop with a love so deep, as if I am that tender hearted God watching over them. They would never hurt me willingly, I understand this. I sense they would die for me if needed. I look at a man on the way out and we smile. I feel a oneness not known before. When I go to my women's 12 step meeting we laugh and laugh, this new self is contagious. I am a new person at my meetings, bringing in joy and a knowing that all is well without having to say it, and sometimes sharing that. It is true Katie when you say "If you are in a hurry to get to heaven, this is the way." When I started doing the work 2 and a half years ago, I thought at times it seemed slow, or that some thoughts would never go away. Today my deepest sorrow i s gratitude unable to be spoken. I met with you recently at Kripalu, sitting with you and honoring your loving presence.

I must thank you for your tireless travel to people everywhere to give them The Work. You are, to me, the most amazing, humble person I have ever met. This must be what love must do. Every time I go to your workshops you remember my name and always have time to talk with me. And now, it seems I am off to the woman's prison to offer The Work. I notice that I want to do that. Not perfectly. Not sure how it will turn out but what else can I do Katie! As I become free I am more here to help out, wherever I can. I have a long way to go, lots of stressful thoughts yet to welcome. I am not complete, however, I have paper and pen and 4 questions.

You are one of the greatest blessings to our planet, even when some people don't recognize that.

And yes, you are right when you say "we all love each other, we may not always recognize that." Thank you for you.

Loving you always, Sandra K.

Beyond Katrina: The Voice of Hurricane Disaster & Recovery is sponsoring two free teleconferences for survivors of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita to learn how to use The Work of Byron Katie, a simple yet powerful process of inquiry that is helping people all over the world find a greater sense of well-being in the context of life challenges such as hurricane recovery.

In this teleclass, facilitated by Dr. Maggie Carter, Ph.D., participants will have opportunities to fully experience the effectiveness of The Work and learn how to apply it to everyday situations in their own lives.

The free teleconference will be held March 15 from 7-8 p.m. CDT and March 22 from 7-8 p.m. CDT. Attendees simply need to call 218-486-1300 PIN 745633 at the time of their choice and be prepared to be transformed. They do not need to register in advance. (Thank you, Chi).

Dear Katie,

I spoke with you on the book tour in Asheville about using the work during my political campaign and you asked me to send a note about it, so here it is.

I live in a fairly conservative county in North Carolina, at least as far as elected officials go. I believe the idea that politics are local and that the best place to start is where you are. In my county we have not had a Democrat elected to 7 of the 9 seats on the board of education in 15 years and the belief was that it can not be done.Many good and well connected people had tried. I filed anyway and several others did as well. I ran a co-ordinated campaign with 2 other candidates and focused on the ideas rather than personality. I was an unknown, never having been involved in politics before.

The short story is I won, getting over 34,000 votes and am now having the time of my life being on the school board.

The work was amazing for me as a way through the process. >From the idea, it can't be done, to I don't have enough support, I need more money, I don't know what I need to know, on and on I would work with my WONDERFUL round robin partner George. He worked with me the month before the election as a special favor and kept the process not only sane but possible. How do I react when I think that thought? what would I do without that thought? It kept me on track only doing the one next thing. The great joy on election night, was having done the whole thing beginning to end, the outcome was really secondary. Being faithful came first. I learned so much about bringing myself back into present time and not believing all the scary thoughts. It was also a great way to find the beliefs that I had used to limit myself in the past.

It also prepared me for what followed. Of a field of really great candidate challengers I alone won. The thought I should not be the only one, is it true? etc. I have learned that we all won, it just looks like me sitting in the seat. I am making friends with all the people I ran "against" and am seeing all the goodness in their hearts. and the children! my goodness I go into the 74 schools we have and they are all mine! sometimes I cry for joy, their beautiful faces like flowers and I am so grateful that I can do my best to serve them.

I never thought of doing this before. nor imagined what a privilege it could be. When I thought about this I heard your sweet voice saying " you're the one". What's so amazing to me is how being the one has dissolved into being the no one, only playing for all of us.

Thank you so much for the great gift of the work and thank everyone for creating this great game we call living.

Loving you,
Elizabeth

Dear Katie,
I’ve been hoping “The Secret” craze would pass as quickly as the Hula-Hoop, then this afternoon I saw it featured on Oprah.

Please consider commenting on this movie/book in the Parlor.
Much love,
Susan

Dearest Susan,

Here are Stephen’s thoughts:

The Secret: “You can have whatever you want.”
The Work: “You can want whatever you have.”

The Secret: “My will be done. I know what’s best for me.”
The Work: “Thy will be done (=Thy will is done). What’s best for me is what actually happens.” (In A Thousand Names for Joy, Katie says, “God’s will and your will are the same, whether you notice it or not.”)

The Secret: “You can control your thoughts.”
The Work: “You are not the thinker. It’s not possible to suppress your stressful thoughts. But when you question them, they let go of you.”

The Secret: “You can manifest your positive thoughts as reality.” The Work: “Reality already is the best thing that could be manifested. When you realize this, you’re home free.”

Thank you, Susan, for your work during the Los Angeles relationships weekend, and thank Gayle also for being so amazingly generous and present as she gives the Work to people in this world through her excellent recordings. I and thousands of others are so very grateful.

The Secret? So, let’s discover for ourselves if there really is a secret, if in fact one exists. “There is a secret”—is it true? I don’t know, I just don’t know, could be, and how would I know when I have found it? Wouldn’t it mean (if it were really powerful) that when I truly found it, my life and the lives of everyone I love, which is everyone on the planet without exception, would be perfect? That I and all of us would no longer have to suffer from needing, wanting, and shoulding, and would be excited and grateful for what we have as we watch more and more flow in as we need it and always on time, just loving what is here for us right now in this moment? Hmmm. Okay, let’s keep moving.

“There is a secret”—can I absolutely know that it's true that there is a secret which, if known, would give me the key to having everything that I want and need that I don’t have now in life? One that will give me later what I don’t have now (examples: a BMW, the necklace that I really want, weight loss, a bike)? No, I can’t know. How do I react when I think the thought that there is a secret and others know it and I don’t? I must live in a past and future that don’t exist as anything other than unfulfilled imagination, yearning for what I don’t have and believing that material wealth and better health are the key to my happiness, left out, isolated, unhappy, trying my best to get the things that I want and often failing and feeling like a failure. I begin to believe that I cannot harness this “secret” and end up with the same life that I started with in the first place, with or without material success. Who would I be without believing that there is “the secret?” Loving life, being “the obvious,” rather than being the secretive.

There is a secret? Now it’s time to look for the turnarounds that are as true or truer for you, dear Parlor family. The one-liner is “There is a secret.” What turnarounds do you see and are willing to share with us? Post your comments below, at the end of this post.

If I believe it and cannot find it, see it, bring it in as fact, then I cannot prove it to “myself” in this world. There is nothing that isn’t manifested by mind, everything is as we see it, and that isn’t much of a secret. It is only when time and ownership of “things” (and body is also a thing) are misunderstood that you attempt to dictate and manipulate these two factors (time and ownership).

The secret is that wanting what I don’t have leaves me wanting what I don’t have again when I have what I thought I wanted then. I don’t need to map out a plan for the future, and I would if it made sense to me or if I needed to, but I would have to distrust the nature of the universe and myself first, and I trust “myself” totally without question to love all of life. There is never a limit as to what to do now, as what “I do” is what we all get, and it accumulates because I don’t argue, I follow the simple directions that are always kind. I don’t do later what I am to do now, and no one does. Later is now.

The secret is to love what is. I love what is because this “what is” right now is all that is and all that ever will be! Right now, not later, all my needs are met, all my desires, my wants are visibly in plain sight and my eyes are open to it, and the feeling is love and gratitude for all that is right now at my beck and call without beckoning or calling or having even asked for it, prayed for it, planned for it.

I didn’t see Oprah’s show hosting the Secret guests, I was traveling, but I have heard from others that they more or less ended the show with two, maybe three, of the Secret guests showing their prior plans and desires, wishes, wants, imagining, imaging, making real in their minds whatever it took to “manifest” themselves as guests on the Oprah show and that is why it worked. There may be millions of people doing the same thing, just wanting to meet Oprah in person. They may really want to meet her with all their heart, and it isn’t enough. This could easily move into despairing thoughts such as “It doesn’t work for me, I’m doing it wrong,” and for some of you that I have met on the book tour, this opens the door to “I created my own cancer,” “What did I do to create this cancer?” “If I knew what I did to create my cancer I could uncreate it, and if I can do that it means that I never have to suffer again. I must know the secret or suffer and die unnecessarily,” “I am going to die if I don’t know the Secret; after all, the doctors say they can’t save me. What did I do to create this in me?”

True creation is like this: There is no cancer until the doctor tells someone that they have cancer and then until they believe it they can’t have it. If they have never heard of cancer before, they must first be taught that it exists, and then they can believe that they have it, and that must be taught too. If they don’t believe it from the doctor, then the family has to teach them. We teach them to have it and then we teach them to try and get rid of it, and if they can’t, then they die. We have to teach them that they live first, though. If we haven’t been taught, how can we believe? And we ourselves create “it” (cancer, everything) the moment we believe. All the evidence shows that it’s true, and that is how the belief is held in place. The mind goes from nothing to crazy with fear (really crazy, sometimes). This is the way people create, reinforce, and maintain their beliefs: “I am going to die, they can’t save me, my children can’t make it without me, God is punishing me, I don’t know how to unmanifest my cancer,” on and on. When the phone rings and it is someone you love talking to, you are laughing, talking, enjoying life in that moment: where is the cancer in that moment? Do you have cancer or are you absolutely cancer-free in that moment? Of course, we are absolutely cancer-free until the mind brings back the unquestioned cancer story into reality. I use the term “absolutely” on purpose. The mind creates who and what we are when we believe our thoughts and experience the concepts, feelings, and images in our heads in the moment. This isn’t right or wrong, it is just so in the moment we believe what we seem to be experiencing as our identity.

In my world, cancer has a right to live or die. Everything has a right to life and death, because I know what everything is, and its true nature. If “I” have cancer, that is my identity (that is who mind identifies me as) and as that identity, I may choose to have chemotherapy, do alternative medical practices, medical practices, change my diet, think positively, even though we continue to believe the “negative” unquestioned thoughts, the opposites of what we want to believe, even though we don’t want to believe them. We believe them until we don’t, and inquiry breaks the spell of “negative” thoughts and therefore what we negatively feel and believe. The negative thoughts, unless we question them, override the positive thoughts that we want to believe, and negative thoughts win out, and the positive thoughts are just powerful and ring true enough to make us feel better occasionally. They don’t work when we really are believing the stressful ones, the one that we don’t want to believe: “I have cancer, I’m going to die, they can’t heal me, my condition is hopeless, it’s not fair, I have created this,” etc. With or without cancer, my life is what it is, and I am grateful for that. With or without cancer, I am still sitting in this chair writing to you, and there are two ways to sit here. One is happy, and the other is stressed out.

I look forward to the turnarounds and examples from you, dear family. I want everyone to come to understand what so many of you are coming to understand about the ease of internal life. Please share your secret thoughts with all of us.

Loving you all,
kt

If you want something to be different than it is, you might as well teach a cat to bark. You can try and try, and in the end the cat will look up at you and say, "Meow." Wanting something to be different than it is is hopeless.

Dear All,

I’m sitting in front of my computer, listening for words that could give adequate voice to the life changing experience of visiting San Quentin. It’s been over half a year since I walked through the prison’s five security gates to enter the world “inside”, a world that unexpectedly opened my mind to understanding true freedom, a reality that took me inside my most prejudiced thoughts to meet the depths of my heart.

It was really my heart that called me to go to San Quentin in the first place. I was listening to Katie describe the Prison Project to a group of people and suddenly, something in my heart just moved me to volunteer if help was needed.

Love takes me to the most amazing places, and I’m learning to trust its lead completely.

What can I possibly say that would accurately describe the insights that continue to surface, the changes that take place still after sharing The Work with men in maximum security, on The Hill, and those living in the H block? I can tell you that their searching eyes and earnest, inquiring minds stay with me, inspiring me every day. Their dedication to seeing the truth and willingness to share honestly give me courage to do the same, no matter what the circumstances.

After a morning session in which Katie did The Work with incarcerated veterans living in maximum security, we all sat with one another for about twenty minutes.

The man next to me had lived on The Hill for sixteen years. I experienced him as a shy man, seemingly a dedicated worker by day at his job in prison, and artist by night while locked in his cell.

He looked deeply into my eyes as he quietly told me he had killed his brother in law, all those many years ago, and why. He told me how he could begin to see, for the first time, that the actions he had taken, though drastic, were directly caused by believing the thought that he was doing the right thing to protect his sister. He told me of how, for the first five years in jail, he felt as though he was in a nightmare, and couldn’t wake up; he couldn’t believe how everything had changed so radically and that he had actually killed someone.

Over many more years, he lived remorsefully with the realization that the action he thought was going to bring more peace to his family actually brought loss and generated even more confusion. Retrospectively, he saw that there were many other ways he might have been of help to his sister that didn’t require violence. After practicing just one morning of The Work, this man said that he couldn’t claim to know what was right for anyone else, ever again.

He spoke of how, whenever a possibility of parole came up, his nephew would angrily argue against it, saying that his uncle was a murderer and should pay the price, should stay safely locked up in jail. This insightful man told me that he could understand his nephew. He said, “He’s just doing what I used to do. He’s just like I used to be.”

We sat then for a while in silence, just taking each other in. In those moments, something opened beyond my knowing to fully embrace our equality; it was subtle yet profound. It was as if I’d been humbled by his plain honesty and was left with only a sense of empty humility as a greater understanding of my own ignorance and innocence dawned. How often had unquestioned beliefs led me to reflexively take action based on fear? How many times had this confused mind justified drastic reactions in its search for security and happiness?

Suddenly, aversion toward people I had judged as scary or harmful melted away as I received a clearer understanding of projection and saw the futility of protection:

Any projection = reflection = possible “self” observation = an opening for introspection = connection = unification = love.

Protection = separation = defense against fear of imagined loss or harm = action to secure against loss or harm = conflict and opposition = suffering.
It was as if some tense and hidden little place within my mind took a deep breath and made space for a new world; instead of self protection and other projection, sitting face to face there, I felt only quiet love.

Then I shared how for many years, after having had four abortions, I carried the heavy burden of believing I was a murderer. In my mind, I had myself made out to be some kind of serial killer, even though doctors had told me the babies might be deformed or that I could lose my own life if I carried those pregnancies to term. I admitted how I had incarcerated myself with guilt and shame, how I hid my painful secret from the world and lived as though I deserved to be locked up and punished for the rest of my life. I was living a nightmare where life became more and more frightening as each new horrible thing that happened was proof of guilt in my mind. I was a fugitive on the run believing I was doomed to suffer and pay the price for the rest of my days.

There was more silence and an unfathomable sense of connection as we sat there, unmasked, our painful mistrust of life nakedly exposed between us. We shared a tender smile. Inside, it felt like such a relief to recognize and release the ancient illusion of control, to surrender the story of a past and plans for a better future, to love.

How can life know? How does love create the perfect circumstances and opportunities that allow me to see reality ever more clearly? How can the universe be so unfailingly kind? I needed to visit maximum security to find the one who could help me see beyond security, to maximum freedom.

What I really want to say is thank you. Some mornings, these days, tears just flow out of the gratitude that fills this heart. Thank you, Katie, and thank you to all kind souls who are, even at this moment, graciously, lovingly holding the space open for us to see through answering four questions, and turning our lives around.

I bow down…

In Love,
Mollie Shea

A human being is part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. The true value of a human being is determined by the measure and the sense in which he has obtained liberation from the self. We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if humanity is to survive. (Albert Einstein, 1954)

Dear Katie,

I just saw the video "I'm afraid of war" from Israel which you included in the latest Newsletter.

I went through the inquiry for myself together with the Israeli woman, and I felt it applicable to every single stressful thought I ever had, which were all thoughts where I was at war with reality. That video is so incredibly powerful, it helped me at last fully assimilate the 300 or so inquiry worksheets I have written so far, I cried all the way though it and kept crying for some time afterwards, I guess it was all this accumulated tension leaving my body.

And what you told about doing inquiry with the veterans and your examples of the man burning to death and about having ones leg blown off, helped me at last feel deep inside my bones the deep meaning of your response to my email to the Parlor about when I was attacked and which had not fully sunk in until now. It would be helpful if some examples of explicit inquiries about physical harm could be published, and I understand why that is not always possible.

I have been doing Inquiry since January, have done about 300 inquiry worksheets so far and am doing about three new ones each day. I have now learned to go very deep inside and usually it takes me 30 to 60 minutes and 4 pages of writing to do each Inquiry. So I do not do two inquiries in a row because I need some time to let each one fully sink in. I also feel quite exhausted sometimes after a deep inquiry. I have learned to sit there waiting patiently with my pen in my hand because I have noticed that sometimes the deepest and most surprising answers to the questions take a while to come up, once the quick and easy ones are already on paper. I hope that I am not exaggerating with this, since the inquiries that have been published in your books and tapes seem to be so much shorter and quicker.

For the past few weeks I have been noticing that from time to time a little "Inquiry computer program" seems to start running inside my head when I think a stressful thought. So far it is only about the "easy" ones but I love the new experience.

I hope to attend October School in LA. I still have so much work to do on myself and I also know that I learn a lot from other people’s inquiries. And at some point in the future I hope to be able to contribute in some way to bringing The Work to more people around the world.

Thank you very much, Katie!

MARC :-)

Dear Katie,
I am so scared and confused, because I have breast cancer. I got the diagnosis in September, and started medical treatment, I didn’t want surgery, to take the whole right breast off. I also found an independent doctor who supported me in doing this. A few days ago I did an ultrasound scan and they said the tumor has grown and I should have surgery. My other independent doctor says it has not grown, but become smaller, that my body can well keep it in balance. This is very hard for me now, to know what is true, to know what to do. I really don’t want to take the breast off, but if it really should be the only way to survive, of course I’d do it. I have managed very well feeling good about everything, and have used The Work a lot with all these questions and fears coming up. I felt really strong and healthy and happy until this ultrasound scan. Now it is as if I failed, and can’t trust my own feelings. It is too much for me right now. I would be so happy and grateful for some message from you. I feel so much love and trust for you, Katie, and The Work has helped me immensely all these years. I need to find peace and clarity in this situation. I need to be able to go on and make a decision. I have a family with three kids and a wonderful husband, and they are worried too. It is not easy to get out of the fear. (I have your video “Cancer Meets Inquiry,” but it has to be transformed to European video system, so I haven’t seen it yet.)
Very much love to you from ****

Dearest ****,
I am so happy that you reached out to ask, and in my own experience, if I have been using my body, my breasts, my physical appearance as any kind of collateral or bargaining power in my life, then of course I am frightened to lose an arm, a leg, a breast, because I am equating my body as value for trade. Self-love is all that is needed to be clear, with or without body parts. I don’t need body parts to be loved or to love. I love you, dearest, with or without, and how would you hear that differently with a breast or without it? Which is easier for you to believe? That is the test. Get a round-robin partner, and call the hotline, and heal your fear. I look forward to our time together in Europe this summer.
Loving you always,
kt

Dearest Katie,
Thank you so much for your answer! Self-love is all that is needed to be clear - YES, I see that. I will carry it with me. And I will work with the question you wrote, well, perhaps I would even hear you more clearly without a breast, who knows?
Lots of love from ****

“There's no wrong, only discovery...”

Dear Katie:

I used to be terrified of flying and I would do a really weird thing with my mind. I would practice being prepared for the plane to fall, trying to exercise bravery as I imagined how it would feel. As you may imagine, I spent the whole flight in terrified misery. Before I went to the School and met Katie, I switched my thinking: the plane is NOT going to fall, and I decided to believe this as much as the other. This helped as long as the plane did not begin to do the jig in the air.

Then, I was flying home from my second School in Bad Neuenahr, Germany, and the pilot announced very rough weather approaching Madrid. My body tensed. The first jolt hit about 20 minutes out and I could feel the fear pour into my stomach. Then, suddenly, I remembered something Katie had said and I asked myself: Is anything happening to me right now? I went to my body, felt it sitting tightly in the seat, and the answer from my body was immediately NO. I questioned: “The plane is going to fall”— IS THAT TRUE? CAN I ABSOLUTELY KNOW THAT IT IS TRUE? Again the answer was NO. I felt my body relax. I opened the window blind (it was night time), and the cosmos was there in all its splendor, the stars, flashes of lightning on the horizon, infinite sky black… it was so beautiful, so breathtaking, that all I could feel was love and gratitude. The plane continued shaking like a Waring blender, but suddenly to me it felt like a rocking cradle, I was filled with joy and so relaxed that I actually nodded off for a few minutes while the craft joggled me softly to sleep. We arrived safely in Madrid and I did NOT suffer 20 minutes of panic. It was wonderful. Thank you so much for The Work.

Love, Brianda

P.S. I have never shared with you the actual moment of my transformation, and as I read the Parlor letters, I suddenly thought that I would like to do that. I had been through so many years of psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, alternative therapies, and what have you and still I wasn't happy, I wasn't satisfied, still I thought that I was missing something in life. Still searching. I found The Work, thanks to a friend; I did the School and immediately began using The Work with myself and with others that asked me for it. I realized it was working for me, I felt better, I lived better, I was softer, kinder to myself. Then one day, I can't remember why, I decided to work on one of my core beliefs about my childhood. MY PARENTS PUSHED ME ASIDE was more or less how it went (I did my work in Spanish and it is MARGINARON or marginalized me). Is that true? I closed my eyes and suddenly the following scene appeared in front of me: My parents getting up in the morning, looking at each other from either side of the bed and saying: "Today let's push Brianda aside so she suffers". I burst out laughing, it was delightful. What a comedy scene!!!! I continued to do The Work and when I got to the turnarounds, I found the pain: I PUSHED MYSELF ASIDE, oh yes, I certainly could find that when I locked myself in my room and refused to join my parents, and I PUSHED THEM ASIDE, even truer when I decided that I wouldn't share my life with them or tell them anything about me. Tears of loss welled up at all the missed opportunities to share with my parents my growing up, and love, love for them and all they had given me. And then the miracle happened. The STORY disappeared, my past vanished. There was no longer anything to be reclaimed, anything to be repaired, anything to be regretted. It was gone. I began living in the present, grateful for everything I have and have had always. Since then it has been a beautiful life, and I love sharing it with you and with others as they ask for it or come into my life.

Thank you Katie. And when people ask, I say that in my experience psychotherapy brings you to ACCEPT your story, and THE WORK makes it disappear!!! KABOOM!!!

Much love and gratitude, Brianda

The following is a letter from Jonathan M. Hartiens, Ph.D. Program Director at the Center for Addiction Treatment at the VA Medical Center in Martinsburg, West Virginia. Dr. Hartiens shares his experience with using The Work on Vietnam Veterans and a formerly incarcerated woman. (Patient names have been initialized for confidentiality.)

Dear Katie,
I’m delighted to share with you the progress on two veterans you met while here in Martinsburg. J* was a veteran you facilitated and you may recall his one liner was “I killed a child.” As you were processing him he left the room. I believe I shared with you how he continued to process this line with me in private using the four simple questions. Anyway, he recently discharged from CAT-5 and is doing simply wonderful. He moved into a great apartment, has a fantastic job here locally making very good money, and he has reconciled with his children. He has had no more nightmares and discontinued all his medications. In his exit interview with me, he credited much of his progress and success to “that day with Katie” and he wanted to express his gratitude for you being willing to taking on such an entrenched belief which held him hostage for so long.

Also, K, who came to the School in June, is doing great. She is preparing to discharge in December and move into a transitional house in the community we’re setting up for formerly incarcerated women. Due to the tremendous improvement she has made, her parole officer released her from VA, which allows her to stay in WV permanently where she can continue to stay close with us and process her beliefs using the Work.
I also wanted to thank you for your on-going support of our VA staff. G is beginning to realize that the thoughts which blocked his progression in LA are the same thoughts which block our patients from progressing here. I’m meeting with him weekly to review his thoughts and help him experience the power of questioning them. While he is moving at a slower pace than others, he is moving. And for that I’m grateful.

I look forward to seeing you in the Spring. Until then, may God continue to bless you. With gratitude for your service,
Jonathan

Dearest Katie,
This is the story of how The Work came into my life.

I was sitting alone at a table waiting for my meal in a guesthouse in Lilongwe, Malawi. I had recently arrived and had six weeks of research alone in this hot country ahead of me. I didn’t want to be there, although I didn’t want to admit this even to myself. I felt afraid, anxious and lonely.

A woman walked in to the restaurant. I noticed her as she kneeled down to greet the black cat that nobody paid attention to. Then she came over to my table and asked if she can join me. I said yes, and we started talking. When I asked what she was doing in Malawi she said “Have you heard about Byron Katie and The Work?” I told her I had read the book Loving What Is but questioning my mind like that wasn’t really my
thing.

Well, all that changed and during these weeks in Malawi I started
to get a hang of it! When I got stuck, she helped me through e-mail. I was sitting under my bed net at night, writing down every stressful thought I could find. At one point I could clearly see my thoughts as they passed by, (“my body needs to recover” “home is better than Malawi”) but they were no longer MY thoughts, only thoughts passing through this mind, and oh so innocent, just wanting a little bit of understanding, loving care and attention…
I called my mom and said I had met an angel!

This is how The Work came into my life. It’s one year ago now. It’s difficult to describe what it has meant because it has really changed everything and nothing at the same time. It’s so liberating not to identify with thoughts. Life becomes simple, beautiful and friendly. Of course stressful thoughts still pay me a visit but they are like rain drops on the surface of water, and from the peaceful place under the water I can question them: Is it true that men make women suffer? It looks like that sometimes. Can I absolutely know that it’s true? No. Now that I think about it, maybe women are not suffering… How do I react when I think that thought? I feel so much anger and resentment that I want to scream and break things. Who would I be without that thought?
I’d love everyone and everyone would love me. Turn it around: Women make men suffer… well, when they try to change them everyone is suffering :-) I make me suffer. Yes, when I believe my thoughts about a cold, violent, unfriendly world then I suffer. Without them there’s peace in my heart.

With love and gratitude,
Alessandra

Dear Katie and The Work,

My 29 year old son died November 19th of a heroin overdose. I had been doing the Work on my own the last time I saw him, ten days before he died. I picked him up to go for lunch at an Indian restaurant and saw that he looked liked maybe he was using again, but I just watched that thought and thoughts like it during my last hours with him, and was really present to his beautiful blue eyes, to his happiness over his job, his thoughts of being in a band soon, how he was going to buy his nieces and nephew Christmas presents... As the days go by after his death, I live with little guilt, no shame, and much love, loving what is.

People think I am in shock because, although I have pain and cry in it, it is not consuming nor constant. I credit The Work for that.

Thank you.

I once went to Toronto to see Katie for a few hours but have never gone to the School. I hope to do so one day. I happened to be quitting my job the hour my other son found his brother dead, so I probably won't be going to the school soon... Maybe it is not necessary, as I am living through this by doing the work on my own - I don't even have to do anything but notice my stressful thoughts and they vanish. Love is so lovely!

Debbie

Anil Coumar, MBBS, MA, is the Director of the Hall Health Mental Health Clinic at University of Washington. He is introducing The Work to his peers (read his success story about the "fear of eating" below):

Dear Colleagues,

Most of us who have personally experienced The Work would agree that it is a simple, effective method to end suffering. Many of us who have experienced the powerful effects of this inquiry are making an effort to introduce The Work to our professional colleagues, as well as to our clients. We realize there are some obstacles and challenges as we attempt to do this, and we ask for your help.

You are invited to fill out a brief online survey designed to help us learn more about how to best bring the power and simplicity of The Work into mental health settings. Your input will help us to understand the needs of, and obstacles faced by, clinicians as we design a training seminar for mental health professionals using The Work in clinical settings.

The survey will take about 20 minutes of your time. You can take the survey by clicking on this link>>

In addition to participating in the survey, we hope you will also join the online forum for mental health professionals at instituteforthework.com. This forum was created to help clinicians communicate with each other, share resources and success stories, and get help from each other as we move The Work in clinical settings. Your input is greatly appreciated.

In closing, I would like to share a success story with you. A few weeks ago, a physician referred to me a young patient of his, a woman with an intense fear of eating. After a few choking episodes, she became terrified to swallow food. If you treat people with psychosomatic problems, you may be aware that the symptoms are often resistant to psychological interventions. In the past, I would have resorted to long explorations of her history to find out the underlying psychological explanations for these symptoms. Instead, this time I gently introduced her to The Work and guided her in self-inquiry. She was able to see how her stressful thoughts (for example, "Something terrible is going to happen") caused psychological and physiological stress and led to her symptoms. She visibly relaxed in the session as she questioned her fear.

Last week, she came to the session and reported that not only is she able to eat now, she is also able to eat alone, something she has not done in a long time because of her fear of choking. And most important, she is now aware that whenever she becomes symptomatic, it is an opportunity for her to question her negative thinking patterns.

Sincerely yours,

Anil Coumar, MBBS, MA
Director, Hall Health Mental Health Clinic
University of Washington
Seattle, WA

Hi Katie,
I love The Work and have read your books. I was wondering: how does passive (and active) resistance fit into acceptance? Also, can we accept what is and focus and act on what we want to create in the future, or is that focus a form of resistance to what is?

Sincerely, B

Dearest B,

I do everything possible to end the war where I am internally, and the war around me ends immediately. Bigger things happen as a result of this—huge things. The troops in Iraq, just like all of us in the world (there is no them and us in this scenario), only have the power to do everything possible to end the war where they are. The way we end wars on this planet, our “defenses,” exactly mirror how we (the bad guy) start or create the war. This keeps us stuck and perpetually unevolved.

Let’s say, for example, a country has the thought to attack us and does attack us in order to put an end to “our” power, which they see as abusive, uncaring, and disrespectful. At this point we attack them for being abusive, uncaring, and disrespectful, and because both sides believe what they are thinking (and their thoughts are exactly the same on both sides), they are unwilling to negotiate. If we overpower them, we say that we have “won,” and we have used the same tactics and mindset that the other side used to start the war, the mindset that caused the attack. They were defending, that was the cause of their attack. We were defending, that was the cause of our attack. The ”enemy’s” mind is our own. If we believe that they shouldn’t have done it, then why can’t we see that we shouldn’t have done it? We are killing ourselves in our own belief system.

The death of our own and anyone’s son or daughter is a pretty obvious reality and yet we stay asleep. I say, “Stop errorism now!” It is internal war that must be ended if war is to end. Once the internal war ends, and therefore the external war ends, then armies will be armed with what they really want to be armed with, which is medicine, food, education, and good will and hearts that are allowed to do what they do best, armed with what is right and good. I invite all of you to find any justification for war that doesn’t mirror back the very same mindset of the “enemy.”

Thank you for the question, B, love.
xoxoxo, kt

Dear Katie,

Lately I had a client who had a fight with her husband a few months ago. She saw him drunk in the car of his company and she wanted him to be home and take care of the children. It happened often that he was drunk and now she was furious and she tried to hit him with a hammer. She missed and she was arrested by the police and spent the night in jail.

She became my client and she wanted to get out of the misery. She said her husband was not likely to cooperate and come with her to me. So a few weeks ago I explained to her the Mediation (conflict resolution) exercise and she would try to explain it to him and do the exercise together. Today she came back. She told me she spent a few days to explain the exercise to him.

Constantly, as she read her worksheet, he started to interrupt her with justifications, attacks and so on. Then, after a few days, he seemed to get it and they could both read their worksheet without being interrupted. My client said her world has changed since then. Now she can openly communicate with her husband, something she couldn't do since she met him five years ago.

She feels more peaceful inside and she said people told her she has changed. "The book is open", as she put it. We can now get along. I could hardly believe her enormous shift from the hammer to this peaceful way of communicating, which she said she experienced since she did the exercise with her husband. And they did it together at home, didn't even need me, the social worker. She told me she didn't want other sessions with me for some time, as she needed time to enter her new world.

Thank you for being there Katie and offering us these beautiful exercises (and The Work of course),

in gratitude and love,

R

Dear Katie and Family,

I would like to share with you my journey through freedom.

After returning home from The School for The Work in October 07, I was driving on Interstate 95 at 6 a.m. going to work. The morning light was beginning to appear.To the left , a tractor-trailer, behind me a tractor-trailer--no problem, I drive the interstate daily. Suddenly , coming up along side of me was another tractor- trailer , speeding and out of control.

The driver overcorrected trying to get back in the lane in front of me, and the tractor-trailer jack-knifed and flipped over. Sliding on it's side on the asphalt, thick , black smoke emerged.

The sound from the metal scraping the asphalt was so consuming and loud, that it was silent. There was nothing but complete darkness.

Then it began- bright,white sparks appearing everywhere, shooting out in every direction-dancing and performing the most beautiful and welcoming light show.For me. It swiftly and graciously surrounded me as I kept driving, unable to see anything else.Life? Crossing over into death? It couldn't be any better than this. I'm going. Silence. Everything stopped.

The thick black smoke dissolved into the morning sky. I walked across the road (there was no reason to run), and came upon a man standing in the median.

I asked "Is the driver dead? Is he in there?" "No," replied the man, "I'm just fine, mam." I impulsively touched his arm with both hands. I felt warmth. I touched him again, and went on to work.

As I told my story, puzzled eyes connected with mine, trying to understand my excitement, gratitude, and freedom.

Death? No fear, none. No fear? Peace,freedom.

I noticed that there was no flash of my children, my family,my world. There was no white tunnel.

There was only living in that very moment, loving the reality, every second of it.

That evening as I was cleaning the barn, a very dear friend said, "I was late for work this morning. There was a big wreck on I-95. Held up traffic for two hours. They say two people died."
"Yes, I said, I know about that."

What a journey, Imagine that.

Thank You Katie--With love, Joanne

Saying "no" is saying yes to you.

Listen to this interview with The Get it Done Guy, Stever Robbins.

Here are three examples >>

1. The boss asks that you skip some family time for work

S: Hi, Katie! I know it's 3 o'clock Friday afternoon, but I just remembered I need the TPS report by Monday morning.
K: You know, actually, I'm unable to. I can't. But I know there's another way. Why don't you call ... so-and-so.
S: Oh, but Katie--I need YOU to do it.
K: You know, I hear that, and I'm unable to. Merry Christmas.
S: Surely, you could just do it tonight, after dinner.
K: You know, actually, I'm unable to. I can't.
S: This is going to show up on your annual review.
K: I hear that, and I think that's a very honest thing to do, because in reality, that's correct.

2. A co-worker asks for a favor

S: ...I have a hair appointment at lunch. Could you cover for me at the desk?
K: You know, actually, I'm unable to.
S: Oh, come on. I'll cover for you next time.
K: You know, I really appreciate that. I'll look forward to that for sure. And I'm unable to cover you on this one, but I know you'll have a great time at the hair-dresser.
S: You're not being a team player here!
K: You know, it really looks that way, doesn't it? And of course, as we know, I am.

3. A teenager who wants the car

S: Hey Mom! Can I use your car to go to the movies?
K: No, actually, no.
S: All the other kids' parents let them use the car.
K: Oh, my goodness, it's true, isn't it? You know, we really have different lives.
S: If you loved me, you'd let me use the car.
K: You know, it's so interesting you would say that. You know, I love you with all my heart, and I'm not letting you use the car.
S: Mom, I hate you! I hate you! Everything in my life that's wrong is wrong because of you.
K: Oh, honey. I'm so sorry you feel that way. I adore you.

Thank you, Stever.

You'll remember the work Kondwani has been doing in Malawi. Here's an example of the difference he is making:

Dear Byron Katie,

My name is James Matemba. I am a man aged 49, married with 4 kids. I am a Malawian by origin. All my parents was a born in Malawi and raised here in Malawi. For the past years in my life I had no information about this thing called the work, till the time when i was imprisoned for forgery.

I was working with a reputable bank here at home and seven years ago I was found myself in a problem when two people came to me at home. The forced me to witness the check which they brought to me. The check was worth MK2,760,000U (S$20,000.00) due to the preasure I had I did what they were demanding. I was told that if I try to do anything to catch them they are going to kill me within two days. With the love of my family and myself. I risked and do what they told me. The following morning they came to the bank with cheque and they withdraw the money through my authorisation of the cheque without calling the owners of the cheque. These people promised me to give me about 10% of the money after the whole exercise is done perfect. But suprsingly they did not even share me anything till the time I was called to the prison to answer the questions on authorising the cheque without the conset of the cheque owners. The issue went to court where I was sentenced 14 years with hard labour.

While I was there and my time was just coming close to get out from the prison cell. I was released before finishing up my sentence because the suspects were prehinded and brought to book, so instead of doing the gail term of 14 years I was told to do half of the term for the allowing the thevies to still the money and because the maney was not found till now. Then A certain Man came to our prison he distributed the small books to the prisoners, we were about 60 of them on that day but the prison where I was has a capacity of 550 prisoners. Infact the prison wa suppose to hold 200 prisoners but due to the luck of space, we were forced to sleep in a small cell with no space to breath or turn around to other place. The man who came to the prison was young than me, but I took a keen interest with him for what he was saying about the work. He went on facilitate to us about our life in and out of the prison cell. I liked it, though I had no time to meet the man after his session but I knew that with the book he gave me I will get intouch with him so that he can came to my house after my sentence so that we can chart and facilitate my family epecially my wife. Our marriege was about to come to an end when I was behind the bars with lots of stories I was hearing about my wife's movement with other men. I wa so furious that I wanted to kill the wife when I got out from the prison. That was the numver problem which I had in my mind. But things turnd around with my thoughts with this man. His facilitation changed my mind, I knew that if I got home and kill the wife, I will be behind the bars again for the atire of my life then my 4 children will suffer for the whole of thier life. I was ringering on what to do then. The day came when I was released from the prison that was three days ago. And the first thing which I did was to come to terms with my family and cerebrate my coming to the house again. Then I wanted to meet this man. But the problem is I have forgeten his name he didn't left us with his contact details apart from the book I have at home. I Finished reaing the small book within a day and I came across with the web address of the Work, www.thework.com. I am here now at the internet cafe I browsed the page and find this email address of the work.

Please supply me with the address of the man in Malawi who is doing this tremendous job of changing the life of the prisoners in Malawi. I wan to work with him so that we can reach other places and prisons here in Malawi. He don't know me as well so give him my email address so that we can communicate. My life has changed completely when I red the book. I have given it to my wife so that she can read also. Please write back to me so that I be assured that you have received my email. Though I am poor now all the money which I had all was finished in paying the lawers and the children school fees. I don't have work to do now. I don't know what to do.

Help me how I can live my life to come to normal again.

Yours faithfully,
James Matemba

My daughter called me to let me know how her day went yesterday. I love listening to her report her journey into the mind.

Roxann is so very into The Work, her joy, her life, and at some point she asked me what I was up to and for no reason, out of my mouth, I said, “Oh, guess what? I have cancer!” I was thrilled, of course, to report my day.

There was silence, and then the line was disconnected.

She called back and said, “Mom, that is not something you say to your daughter as though it were an everyday event.” And of course it was.

The doctor had just called and said that he wanted me to come into his office as soon as possible to talk, that the biopsy showed that I have cancer on my nose, phase 2 basal carcinoma. He wants to start me on radiation for four weeks as soon as possible. I start Turnaround House, my heart’s desire, tomorrow, and am wondering how the days will look as I intend to be there daily with the exception of two weekends. Anyway, my husband and my sons cannot be upset, my daughter cannot be upset, they really don’t know what they are supposed to feel and until they do, they don’t. For me, I don’t bother. I love life and that is my job. When Stephen was talking to the doctor, my thought was, “Ha ha, ha, ha, I have cancer and you don’t!” This thought and thoughts like this continue to override anything untrue to my way of understanding and keep me laughing and loving what is mind. I continue to wonder why people (mind) continue to believe that what never lived can die. It really is quite wonderful to be mind free of physical self-image. Denial is believing that you, as you understand you to be, ever are what or who you are, have been, or ever will or can be.

I invite you all to inquiry, to your own marvelous death of the body (before it dies) as you understand it to be and to be born of who and what you are not to your mind and then to understand what you are in that, as that unknowable known. I hope that you have followed what I have just written, as so many of you who love The Work for so many months or years have been able to do. Your own answers to the questions and examples of turnarounds have kept us as one, undivided in peace and beyond, for so many months, even years. I live in you and I die in you, what else is possible? Nothing. I love living in you if you love it, and I can tell you that you live in me and only that, you are my life. I love not belonging to me and you do and belonging to you when I do. What identification have you given me? I live as that. Do you love me yet? I welcome you to love beyond the self.

The hotline is for anyone who wants to do The Work right away, by phone or online, with a trained facilitator who has graduated from the School for The Work with Byron Katie.

There is no fee for this service.

Calling Byron Katie's Hotline:

- Hotline Facilitators respect your wish to remain anonymous if desired.
- You must call the Hotline directly. No collect calls will be accepted.
- You are free to call any one of the listed Facilitators during the hours they are available. Please respect their specified availability and do not call any other time unless you have the Facilitator's direct permission.
- If all Hotline Facilitators are busy and your phone call goes to voicemail, please leave a message with your phone number. Hotline Facilitators will do their best to respond to your call.
- When you call, be prepared with a completed Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet and/or a One-liner, or a question about doing The Work.
- The length of your call depends on a variety of factors. Our intent is to make ourselves available to as many people as possible, and we love supporting you in this way.
- If you are in immediate danger of harming yourself or others, please call 911 or contact a local mental health organization.

Hotline Facilitator's Responsibilities

- It is the Facilitator's responsibility to walk you through The Work, not to give advice or therapy.
- The Hotline Facilitator is present to work with you when your intention is to meet the Four Questions and Turnarounds with honest answers.
- If the Hotline Facilitator feels that The Work is not being done honestly, they will let you know and the session will end.

Learn more about Byron Katie's Hotline for The Work >>

Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: one morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke.

As it happened—as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding— she studied and remembered every moment. Her explanation about how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another is amazing.

Of course we don't all have to have a stroke to understand the beauty of things exactly as they are. The four questions and turnarounds are enough. You can end your own your suffering.

After watching this video, I emailed Dr. Jill:

Dear Dr. Jill,

When I saw the video of your wonderful description of your stroke of insight, I recognized your experience immediately. Although I didn't have a stroke or other physical triggering event, one morning in 1986 I died as a suffering 43-yr-old woman and woke up in a state of joy that has never left me. At first there was only laughter, as a wordless inquiry burned up every concept that I had lived by. I no longer believed my thoughts-or, as you might say it, the output of my left brain lost its hold on me forever.

In time the inquiry took a form that allows me to offer it to others and, when I saw that it's possible for anyone to live as I do, it became my full-time job to facilitate the process of what I call The Work. I have written about this in several bestselling books, and I would love it if you could visit my website, www.thework.com, where there are videos that show me doing The Work with a variety of people. I'm curious to know your reaction and hope we can meet in person someday.

Loving what is, and that would be you,
Katie

Her reply:

Dear Katie, thank you for this kind message.

Jill

Dearest Katie,

Today I went to the bank to have a talk with a new manager regarding my bank account and as we were talking she wanted to know what else I do besides working at the advertising agency so I told her a bit about you and the Work and she didn't quite get it and asked for an example. So I asked her if there was anything troubling her and she said yes. There was something on her mind regarding one of her employees and she felt hesitant in how to approach them. So I suggested we do the Work on that and I walked her through the 4 questions and the turnarounds and she totally opened and I could tell it really made things clear for her. All of the sudden she asked me to hold on and she picked up the phone and got someone on the line and asked him to meet with me. Turns out he is in charge of all the organizational consulting/coaching at this national bank and more. She said to him she would like for him to interview me because she feels what I have to offer might be very useful. So now I have an appointment with him on Wednesday in regards to offering the Work at this bank. Isn't that something? At the place where I work, since they do great power point presentations, I am thinking of creating one based on the small booklet to bring to this interview. What do you think, is the universe friendly or what??

What an interesting few days I've had.

The appointment with the coaching organization which the Bank Manager has recommended me to was set for this Sunday.

As I left my house, Sunday morning, to go to that meeting , I thought of you and carried you with me in the form of a warm sweet feeling in my heart. I hailed a cab, and from afar something sparkled at me from the driver's face, I told him the address and half way there realized I left my cash at home in another purse. I didn't know what to do-turn back to get my money--that would make me late for the meeting and yet how would I pay for the ride? I said something out loud and the driver turns to me and says: "Honey, the meeting is what matters and I'll take you there, you don't need to pay me , after the meeting I can pick you up again and you can pay me then". "Thank you so much" I said, "but that means I'll have no change on me at all throughout the day and I really need some change on me." "that's no problem" said the driver "I'll give you some money and after work I'll pick you up, bring you home where you left your money and then you'll pay me." Something about this man was so honest and real with no agenda whatsoever. I accepted. I got to the appointment on time, feeling so ready, so supported. I introduced myself to the CEO, he then asked my permission to invite 2 more people to the meeting ( which means it was already OK) and I had a chance to tell all of them about you and the Work and demonstrated it on them so that they can experience what it is, I told them what you said how people in the company can fill a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet on one another and I found myself talking of the value of the turnarounds and in what fantastic ways they serve us. At he end they said they were very impressed and are interested in moving forward and start by giving me a slot for a 3 and a half hour workshop in a transportation company that they are coaching right now and as they get to know me better more will come.

I was elated and realized I can now also set my own appointments in other places as well and go and present what I know. The driver waited downstairs and took me to work and then at the end of the day came to take me home and I paid him for all this. It was like the universe was saying that if I do what I love the support will come, whether it's money, love, everything.

Yours,

Orly

Hi,
My name is Jennifer, and I found The Work while online searching for a way to "unstick" my life. I didn't quite understand at first, but then I read the book Loving What Is, and followed the counsel, I found a new person inside me. I have begun applying The Work to many areas of my life, but tonight I hit a most poignant false story that I wanted to share.

As I did The Work tonight, on underlying beliefs that were triggered by frustrations at my sister, I unearthed a powerful story inside me. I had been telling myself that I should not commit sins, when in fact I have and I do. I have been plagued in my life with anxiety and being overly careful about everything, censoring every area of my life. All of my thoughts went to picking over what I'd done and what I could do in the future that was wrong.

When I realized that it's not true that I shouldn't commit sins, my eyes were opened and I can now see. I can see that I keep God's commandments because I love him, and that fear is not necessary for me to be obedient. When I discovered this, I put down my pen and just cried, because I could feel the love that God has for me, and I could feel the love I have for him, free of fear.

I was afraid that the fear in my former story was what was saving me. But when I considered for a brief moment that it wasn't true, I realized that my love for the Savior and his love for me are what really save me each and every moment of every day, and it brought me to tears.

And it's funny because in the moment that I knew that I should commit sins, the very things that have always tempted me seemed to disappear, forever.

God bless you, and thank you,
Jennifer

Dear Katie

This is what happened to me after the certification workshop.

In the process of taken care of myself, I went to a mammography just for prevention purpose. On this particular day there was a very senior doctor instead of the usual staff. He immediately discovered very, tiny small changed and send me to the major hospital in Denmark for continual treatment. In these days there were strikes of the nurses in Denmark, so the hospital was on very low drive and my scheduled time was cancelled. A senior doctor took event and called me and said I had to come anyway. I was called in and had taken a biopsy by a very, very skilled doctor. I got the results a week later and it was cancer and they wanted to operate me as soon as possible – strike or not.

13 days later I came to the hospital and L, my friend from the work was waiting for me at the entrance, and All the busses were stopping and people would get out an in. She were her usual cap so it was just like meeting her in front of the crown plaza hotel in Los Angeles before school starts – amazing.
The operation next day was absolutely amazing – so full of love that I was overwhelmed. They had to put some needles in before the operation to be sure to pick out the right spot (to remove) and I almost fainted of pain and it was pure love. So many people offered there help and care and support- so I had this picture of an anthill. When you put a stick in there all the ants work together to repair the damage. How deeply we are connected (this is from someone who did not as far as she knows have that experience as a child).

Everything looked normal at the operation also the lymph nodes. And I am waiting for the final results from microscopy next week.

Amazing how this cancer- or what ever it is – I don’t know – has already given me the experience of love – that there is nothing else than that and how deeply we are connected in this –what ever it is.

In deeply gratitude Katie for what I have received from you.

Yours always,

P

I visited my dermatologist last Friday for a skin check-up. After checking my back he noticed a little blue lump on my chest. It has been there for quite some time but it had never bothered me so I've never had it checked out. He suggested it might be a basal cell carcinoma, which I know are not dangerous and do not metastasize but he suggested we biopsy it. I agreed. He told me not to worry. This meant- "don't worry." Nevertheless, I went home feeling a very slight anxiety which continued into Sunday when it blossomed into a really uncomfortable feeling of depression.

I began three separate "One belief at a time" worksheets with different titles. One that I was particularly fond of I titled- I am not a lover of what is. In each one I included a pretty fulsome of what I everything I was experiencing. It was all embarrassingly like all the things I'd previously written about others when I judge my neighbors. Curiously, when I got to the turnaround portion, I didn't couldn't come up with anything I believed.

My daughter was becoming annoyed with me and my wife was becoming slightly alarmed. I rather dramatically informed her that I thought something was amiss with my brain chemistry and perhaps I needed medication. She wisely rejected this suggestion as well, idiotic. She asked me if this had anything to do with my doctor's appointment and I denied that it did.

Full of unnamed dread, I called for my biopsy results but, luckily, they weren't ready. After a couple of anxious hours the unexamined and unacknowledged belief popped into my head- "a biopsy means something really bad is going on." Then, the turnaround was obvious. I was imagining a carefree life pre-cancerous diagnosis as opposed to the dread filled after my diagnosis. I had been play acting a little pre-dread dread. It was actually pretty dreadful. Nonetheless, I look forward to another experience of fearing for my health. It was instructive.

M

Compassionate Communications was founded by Greg Voisen after his oldest son Sean was diagnosed with leukemia at the age of twenty-one. After this life-changing experience, Greg sought new ways that he could help give back and support the growing community of families and individuals facing the challenges of cancer and other life-threatening illnesses.

Learn more >>

We are thrilled to announce that a new book will be appearing on October 15.

It's called Who Would You Be Without Your Story?: Dialogues with Byron Katie, and you can pre-order it now.

A while back a friend sent me the following quote, from the Indian Buddhist teacher Aryadeva. He wrote this almost 1900 years ago:

"To question that things might not be as they seem can shake the very foundation of habitual clinging. This questioning spirit is the starting point for self-reflection. Could it be that this tightly-knit sense of self is not what it seems? Do we really need to hold everything together, and can we? Is there life beyond self-importance? These kinds of questions open the door to investigating the cause of our suffering.

"Self-reflection is the common thread that runs through all traditions and lineages of Buddhist practice. It also takes us beyond the boundaries of formal practice. We can bring the questioning spirit of self-reflection to any situation, at any time. Self-reflection is an attitude, an approach, and a practice. In nutshell, it is a way to make practice come alive for us personally."

Interesting. The old is new, and the new old.

Back to the present. The phone rings.

I say yes or no.

There are not many ways to directly answer people's questions.

And as these answers flow out of what's true for me in this moment, out of this pure power within me, the world is shaped on the other side of the phone, mind is influenced, interpretations form, life moves this way or that as effect, it seems. How else could the world be created?

They say, "It's your fault," and I think, "Isn't it odd that after the fact they would hear a yes or a no in such a way?"

Or they say, "Thank you, thank you thank you," and I think, "Isn't it odd that such power is given to such simple answers, yes or no?"

The world is created as I sit here, it springs into being and is mirrored back to me as life. It's wonderful not to be the doer.

Everything is a story. The mind spins stories out and you believe what the mind tells you. Every time you are stressed out or fearful, you are believing what the mind is telling you. The Work is about discovering what is true and what is not true for you, the difference between reality and imagination.

Dear Byron Katie,

This might be old news for you, but I found that two groundbreaking Stanford University pain syndrome experts consider Byron Katie's approach the best form of Cognitive Therapy.

In the new Revised 5th Edition of A Headache in the Pelvis (pp.326-330), that came out in May 2008, Stanford psychologist David Wise Ph.D. and neurourologist Rodney Anderson, M.D. refer to Albert Ellis' Rational-Emotive Therapy and Aaron Beck's Cognitive Therapy and then write (in their italics):

"The best form of Cognitive Therapy is, in our opinion, is offered in the work of Byron Katie who provides an approach to disarming catastrophic thinking by means of a process that one can do oneself. This is the approach that we recommend."

They then describe the procedure adding: "Our description of this process is rarely sufficient to become proficient at it. We discuss this method in our monthly 6-day clinics. Information specifically about this cognitive therapy work can be found at www.thework.org and the books of Byron Katie."

Wise and Anderson are practical "in the trenches" therapists who work daily with severe pelvic pain and other chronic syndromes . They recommended Byron Katie's method already in the 4th edition of the book (pp. 298-301).

I am happy to tell that my friend Ms. Essi Tolonen will be able to make true her long-held dream -- Essi will attend the 2008 School in Germany in two weeks. Many people here in Finland are already eagerly waiting for what she will tell us about the School.

All the best to you and your wonderful work

J. V.
Helsinki, Finland

Dear Katie,

I feel that I have created a shift in our dynamic that opens the door to healing for myself and for our family. I am grateful to myself for my persistence in seeking healing. I am grateful to you Katie for presenting TW in such an accessible way (I did in eight months what I had not been able to do in 30 years of various therapies and medications). I am eternally grateful to Charlotte for shepherding us through the work in the specific arena of Divorce and I am grateful to all of my classmates. I believe that our collective effort of doing TW contributes to the foundation that supports our growth and that the work will keep working in seen and unseen ways. Thank you.

5/02/08
Dear T,

When we were married I wasn’t able to find or acknowledge very much appreciation within me for anything, including you. In our 25+ years together I don’t believe I ever fully present with you and I don’t believe that I ever really truly saw you. There times when I came a little bit close
like when I watched you ski. Those were rare moments when I did not judge you. I felt love, I saw beauty and I really admired you.

I would like to express what I appreciate about you.

I appreciate that you made our children your first priority. I appreciate that you spent a lot of your time serving them like driving J to her horses, and cooking meals for all of us, doing research on a multitude of things and just being around for us and for me.

I appreciate your ability to see what is good in others, especially our children. You shared with me your wisdom in letting our children take risks, find their own answers and your wisdom in knowing they didn’t need punishment when they did things that hurt themselves or others.

I appreciate that you manage money well so that you could offer us not only security and stability but also many enriching opportunities like travel, private schools, horses, summers at the ranch. You willingly and freely gave me time away to pursue my interests and I thank you for that.

I appreciate your gentle nature, your desire to be helpful and your generosity in sharing your time and attention with me, our children, and others. I appreciate your loyalty during our marriage.

I appreciate that you did the best you knew how to make me happy and your willingness to go to counseling with me and try to make our marriage succeed.

I appreciate your patience and tolerance and your impressive ability to not hold onto grudges.

T, you have given me many gifts.

First and most important are our 3 perfect, wonderful and beautiful children X, Y, and Z.

You also gave me Freedom to explore and develop my interests and you have given me financial security before, during and after our marriage.

For these things I am forever grateful.

Recently I participated in an exercise that centered on someone we admired.

I admire you and I did that exercise with you in mind.

What I see and admire in you is:
Generosity, Willingness, Gentleness, Loyalty, Caring and Patience

T, during our marriage I did many things that hurt you.

I expected you to be competent in many ways and I held it against you and I was cold and critical of you when you didn’t meet my expectations.

I insinuated many times that you and what you were doing was not good enough and that you should change and I withheld love and affection when you didn’t understand and agree with me.

There were times when I didn’t act like a partner in our marriage like when I made decisions about things that affected both of us without consulting you.

There were times when I wanted you to do for me what I had a hard time doing myself like reaching out to others and being involved in the larger community.

I often ignored your attempts to reach out physically to me and I judged your efforts to be not enough. I had an affair and didn’t care how you felt and I left and didn’t care how you felt.

During our marriage I put a lot of pressure on you to change.

I didn't listen to you when you told me that you were content and didn't want to change. In equal measure, I put pressure on myself to change and pressure on our children to change. I was very hard on all of us and I didn't listen when you told me that.

When I carried the belief that I and or you needed to change, I put a great deal of attention on how I or you hadn't changed and I constantly pushed myself and you. I focused on what was missing in my life and in you. I compared me and you to others.

What I imagine that it cost you is many years of not receiving affection, collaboration, and support and not being given the opportunity to feel the joy of your partner receiving your affection and support.

It cost our children the opportunity to experience the unconditional love and support of their mother and many years of living in a stressful demanding environment.

It cost me the ability to see, experience and support your strengths and to know you. It cost me the opportunities to receive your love and caring. It cost me the experience of my own self-acceptance and the experience of giving unconditional love. It cost me my confidence and joy as a mother.

I had a motive for not listening and for continually pushing for change. My motive was fear. I had fears that I needed to do things right or others would judge me, reject me, leave me and not take me seriously. I was afraid of forever feeling fearful, alone and isolated. And I was fearful that our children would feel the isolation and pain that I felt in my life.

By extension, I believed you needed to do things right or I would be judged and left by others. And I see that when I believed you weren't doing it right, I judged, rejected, and left you in my mind and did not take you seriously. I equated your worth with what you did and how you did it.

I put you out of my heart. I equated my worth with what I did and how I did it. I put me out of my heart.

Again, in my experience, this cost you my love, affection, support, harmony, companionship and connection. It also cost me my love, affection, harmony, support, companionship and connection both to myself and to you.

I experienced it as causing separation, heaviness and stress in our family.

I am sorry that I didn't listen to you and that I put unachievable expectations on you and blamed you when you did not meet my expectations.

For the many times and the many years that I treated you unkindly I am sincerely sorry. If there are things that I did that hurt you and that you would like me to know about or acknowledge I am ready to listen and I would like to hear them.

I am profoundly sorry for the stress I have caused you and our children and am willing to do what ever I can to make it right.

I welcome your ideas. In the mean time I am committed to living my life differently than I did in the past. The ways that I have identified include:

1. To notice when I have the thought that someone else, particularly you or our children, should do or be in any particular way and then look at how I can be or do it myself. My goal is to never tell another person what they should be or do or how they should think or act and if I do to notice and make amends as quickly as possible.

2. Another way is to stop blaming anyone or anything for how I feel or experience life.

3. Also, when I notice that someone has contributed toward my wellbeing that I will acknowledge them verbally or in writing as soon as possible.

If you ever feel that I am blaming you, accusing you or criticizing you I ask that you point it out to me because I am sincerely working on not seeing you or anyone as my opponent or enemy.

T, I am grateful to you. I am grateful that you are the father of my children, You are a gem and I love you.

Love, C

Our goal is to get The Work out to everyone in a way which is simple, easy to use, and helpful.

Now anyone can Do The Work anytime, anywhere.

A special thanks to Doron and Shiri of Coaching Interactive for making this happen.

I’m currently a facilitator for a Coping Skills program for the Segregation inmates here at WCI a maximum-security prison. We currently do an 8-week group of 5 Segregation inmates. At WCI we focus on education and treatment to try and help inmates succeed in CP and stay out of Seg. I was introduced to a tape of The Work and thought it would greatly enhance the current training we offer. Once we viewed the video and tried it out in our current group we were hooked. The inmates were very excited about the group discussion brought about by The Work video and work sheet homework assignment.

I believe that getting properly trained in The Work will enable me to better serve the people I work with. I think that with all of the background knowledge and training that I’d be better able to present this material to the people that need it most. I was so excited once I saw the video I went directly to my supervisor and told him of all the potential I saw in this program.

- KB
A scholarship applicant for the 9-day School for The Work

(an excerpt from Loving What Is)

I’ve never seen a work or money problem that didn’t turn out to be a thinking problem. I used to believe that I needed money to be happy. Even when I had a lot, I was often sick with the fear that something terrible would happen and I would lose it. I realize now that no amount of money is worth that kind of stress.

If you live with the uninvestigated thought “I need my money to be safe and secure,” you’re living in a hopeless state of mind. Banks fail. Stock markets crash. Currencies deflate. People lie, bend contracts, and break their promises. In this confused state of mind, you can make millions of dollars and still be insecure and unhappy.

Some people believe that fear and stress are what motivate them to make money. But can you really know that that’s true? Can you be absolutely certain that without fear or stress as a motivator, you wouldn’t have made the same money, or even more? “I need fear and stress to motivate me” — who would you be if you never believed that story again?

After I found The Work inside myself — after it found me — I began to notice that I always had the perfect amount of money for me right now, even when I had little or none. Happiness is a clear mind. A clear and sane mind knows how to live, how to work, what e-mails to send, what phone calls to make, and what to do to create what it wants without fear.

Who would you be without the thought “I need my money to be safe”?

You might be a lot easier to be with. You might even begin to notice the laws of generosity, the laws of letting money go out fearlessly and come back fearlessly. You don’t ever need more money than you have. When you understand this, you begin to realize that you already have all the security you wanted money to give you in the first place. It’s a lot easier to make money from this position.

More resources:

- Video: Inquiry - "You Need More Money—Is that True?"
- Video: Inquiry - "I Panic About Losing Money..."
- Video: "I need to give my son money" [Israel 2007]
- Book: Byron Katie on Work and Money

Hi Katie,

Just wanted to thank you for The Work! It is truly amazing at shifting one's beliefs and allowing healing to happen!

I stumbled onto your website some time ago, and bookmarked it, thinking: "I might try this at some point."

Well, my Dad passed away a few weeks ago, and I've been having a very rough go of it since. My Mom passed away many years ago, so it stirred up stuff around her too.

Anyhow...before my Dad passed away, I had been struggling with this novel concept of looking after ME. I did some things to help me, and in the course of it, have gotten others very angry with me. So tonight, I found your website again, and printed off the worksheet with instructions. Then I happened to see your videos...and clicked on the one about 'Father'. Wow! As you were talking to the gentleman on the video, I was Working thru my stuff...and I cannot believe how much better I feel already! By the way, my issue was the same!

My Work is far from done, but I feel the shift already and am very excited about this 'new' knowledge I have of myself!

I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart!

J.

MP3 download here >>

Dear Katie,

About a month ago, I was listening to a book-on-tape called "Miracles" by Stuart Wilde. In it he tells the story of a young woman who, like me, was searching for a miracle. As she was walking down the street, a truck drove by and dropped a book. That book changed her life dramatically for the better.

I was praying for just such a miracle in a book. I was in a thrift store called "My Lucky Day" wandering around aimlessly, lost, confused, and in so much pain. I kept saying, "I feel like I'm dying." My therapist wanted me to commit myself. I've done that once before and it was like putting a band aid over a gaping wound.

I wanted to turn this break-down into a break-through. I was determined to! Air Force Training instructors told us, "we're breaking you down so we can build you back the way we want you."

I don't want to be a war machine anymore though. I want the sparkle back in my eye, the bounce in my step that Mom said was gone when I got back from the war. And it's my heart's desire to help others do the same! I found your book Katie -- Loving What Is -- for 50 cents and that was my miracle and continues to be so!

Thank you!

With gratitude.

A

Dear Dear Katie,

How are you? I want to share some things with you:

In the last month there are so many challenges on my path: I “lost” a lot of money because of the credit crisis. It is about ¾ of the money I had, so there is almost no money left. When I replace the concept money with the concept love, and when I do the turnarounds on all the concepts I have about “loosing money," I feel very creative, alive, strong and free.

Also with my health: Again the doctors probably found some cancer cells in my breast. And when I heard it first I started to cry, but then, that same evening, did The Work, and I experienced a complete other person: loving, strong, caring. Without the cancer story I feel so grateful. Life goes on. Also, at the hospital when they did an examination that same afternoon, I could bear it as I did The Work on “this is my body." Turning that around I came to “this is not my body," and wow is that true!? It is none of my business, certainly not when the doctor is doing the examination-- I could concentrate and relax with no more stories about terrible treatments.

Thanks to this Work, I can deal with all of these challenges. I can trust that what I need now is what I have. This is what the credit crisis is teaching me and giving me.

Every evening I go to bed with the MP3 player with the Mental Cleanse on it (what a brilliant idea!). I listen to the clarity of The Work and of you, and I fall asleep in peace-- peace is what I want in this lifetime, and there is a lot of work to do. I am very happy and starting to get balanced. I am so grateful that I could be a staff member this summer in Bad Neuenahr. I did not speak to you personally then, but I breathed in and out the wonderful, peaceful, clear atmosphere of the School. Everything so well organized, always someone to talk to and to ask a question, always availability. And from me, it just came out of me, without having to do so much. Just gratitude. Being able to experience it.

On my knees, thanking you and me for this gift of life.

Dear Katie, embracing you with love,

M

We all know people, family members, or friends who find change difficult.

We know people who always seem to drift into painful relationships. As soon as they get out of one painful relationship, they begin another. Why can’t they change?

We know people who are afraid of life. They stay at home, wrapped in their shroud of loneliness, wondering why they are so depressed. We know beautiful people who insist on dwelling on a minor blemish to feel ugly. We also know people who are angry because things aren’t the way they should be. Maybe they have a job they don’t like. Maybe their child or spouse is sick. Maybe they can’t stand their neighbors. Maybe they’re angry at God. Why can’t they change?

Some of us are stressed about our finances, work, our jobs, our mortgages. We can’t sleep at night. We are quick to anger. We lose our tempers with our loved ones, our friends, our co-workers. Some of us are addicted to food, drugs, alcohol, sex, money, ideas, you name it. We make resolutions only to break them. We think we disappoint everyone around us. Why can’t we change?

The one thing all of us have in common is our excuses. Every vice has an excuse ready:

- I don't have the willpower.

- I don't have the money.

- I'm too young/old.

- My kids/parents/spouse/friends won't let me.

- I don't know how.

- It's not my fault, it's ______________'s fault.

- It's not ______________'s fault, it's all my fault.

We cling to our stories and can't let go. Just the thought of change is stressful. We can't change when we don't really want to.

Here's a letter from someone in Texas:

Dear Katie,

love, J

Dear J,

Let’s start with you offering your friends the one-liner “Obama is going to take away our guns—is that true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true?” Etc. But only if they are open to it.

And for your sake, I invite you to personally work with “Obama is going to take away our guns” and see what it might be like to walk in your friends’ minds, world, and internal life and fears. I invite you to look at taking away the gun that you are aiming at your friends, the judgments that you are shooting at them inside you. Also, try working with “There is something wrong with these people,” “They need to wake up,” “I need to do something to change them,” and “They are not decent people when it comes to politics.” For now, let’s look at “These friends of mine are narrow-minded and racist.”

Is this true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true that your friends are narrow-minded and racist? Notice that your mind wants to defend your position, to justify, to show proof of why it is true. Notice this and return to a simple yes or a no. Commit to one answer or the other. The Work stops working the moment your mind moves away from the questions and into its old pattern of justification and defense, winning and losing. Just notice these tendencies and continue to answer the questions. Give them a respectful amount of time; you are worth it. There is wisdom beneath the the surface answers, there are answers that are pure gold to you, and they offer freedom that you cannot imagine. When you have given the first two questions plenty of time and answered them, please gently move to the third question.

How do you react when you believe the thought “My friends are narrow-minded and racist”? Do you feel sick to your stomach, disgusted, sad, even frightened for them? For you? Do you see images of them using the guns? Notice how you react when you believe that thought. Do you see yourself as superior to them? How do you treat yourself when you believe this thought, how do you treat them? Give this question some time, be still with it for a while.

Who would you be without the thought “My friends are narrow-minded and racist”? Would you be less frightened, less separated from them, lighter, easier of mind, less judgmental? Would you be happier thinking of and being with your friends, a closer listener, really hearing their minds, hearts, and fears without separating yourself from them?

Now turn it around. Are you being narrow-minded, sweetheart? Have you ever experienced yourself as racist, even a tiny bit? Have you been prejudiced against prejudiced people? Are you seeing these friends of yours as less enlightened than you, less rational, less wise, less open?

Another turnaround: My friends are open-minded and (what is the opposite of”racist”?) open-hearted. Let’s try that one. Where have these friends been more open to you than you were to them? To yourself? How narrow-minded are you when it comes to self-judgments? Where are these friends more open in other areas in life than you are? Find at least three examples of each turnaround, and continue with the next turnaround, and/or begin to work with another judgment that you are holding on to. Because until you do, you are the cause of the separation that is happening in the human race and that separation in the world is what you are putting out there, it is what you teach those in contact with you.

Help yourself. Understand your stressful thoughts. I cannot teach others until I have taken on my own narrow mind and my own racism. And if you need to make new friends, look to yourself. You may consider yourself a much better friend to wake up with after you have taken yourself where you really want to go. For me, I want to deal with anything within me that would separate me from anyone or anything. This is intimacy, oneness, love.

Loving what is, and that would be you,
kt

Between April and June 1994, an estimated 800,000 Rwandans were killed within a 100 days. It was a genocide of Tutsis perpetrated by the Hutus.

We have received several letters and emails from you, our dear readers, asking us to explain more about Rwanda, and how The Work can be used to help Rwandans.

The five Rwandans came to School saying they were Tutsis, but just before the end of School one of them admitted to all of us that he was a Hutu and expressed his shame about the genocide. It was an amazing moment. He made amends and spoke of dedicating his life to taking The Work to the Hutus to help end genocide and the ideas that are the cause of genocide, in the name of peace and in the hope that it will never happen again. He, like the others, wanted to heal the wounds of all Rwandans.

Here is an audio clip (MP3 download) of the Rwandans speaking at The School.

The genocide in Rwanda has been documented in detail by the UN and Human Rights Watch, so that "the horrors recorded here must remain alive in our heads and hearts; only in that way can we hope to resist the next wave of evil."

Meanwhile, the madness continues in the Congo.

How do you overcame these beliefs?

The truth is your beliefs are your religion (MP3 download), one belief by one by one.

It’s impossible to change as long as you believe the negative thoughts that you yourself are thinking.

In this case, the beliefs of the Hutus led them to genocide: “Tutsis are evil,” “Tutsis are tyrants,” “Tutsis are cockroaches,” “Tutsis are our enemies.” What other ideas do you see as contributing to the cause of such violence and fear?

Remember, peace on Earth begins with you. And the four questions and the turnarounds and your examples of these turnarounds are there, within you, to enlighten you and bring you peace.

Before we judge others, let’s remind ourselves that in our thoughts, we all experience what the Hutus were thinking anytime we hate or fear another human being, even ourselves.

An article in the Times >>

For those of you keeping up with our Rwandan family, here is another letter (unedited) from our dear Costa:

My Dears love,
I am always thinking about you. I was very fortunate to know you from the School for The Work. You are part of my entire family and my entire Rwandan community.

Let this coming year be the year,
Full of Love: love which provides opportunity of knowing ourselves,
Love which wipes up all beliefs which were guiding our lives,
Love of reconciliation,
Love which dominates our bad thoughts,
Love which provides to us peace and relax,
Love which multiply the number of friends and reduces the number of enemies.
Who are my enemies? They were there dwelling in my minds, teaching me hatred, teaching me that what I have is mine and no one have access on it, teaching me that, that one is black or that one is white, teaching that, that one is Christian and the other is not so we are different, teaching me that, I am thin and I cannot negotiate with the obese, I am Obese, I am scared to join other, teaching me that, I am HIV and AIDS positive, I cannot negotiate with the Sero-negatives,
BUT I CAN QUESTION MY THINKING AND STOP TEACHING ME THAT. I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT YOU ARE NOT MY ENEMIES, YOU ARE NOT THE ONES TORTURING MY LIFE. IT WAS ONLY MY UNQUESTONED MIND.

OOOOOH, WHAT THIS YEAR CAN BE A YEAR OF LOVE, WHICH PRODUCES SMILES AND SMILES. I LOVE YOU ALL. DO YOU REMEMBER WHY KATIE GAVE US A MIRROR TO WHATCH?
SUCCESS AND LOVE.
FROM YOUR DEAR AND LOVELY RELATIVE
Costa NDAYISABYE NZARAMBA
RWANDA

Unity and Peace for Development Cooperative-Friendship programme

Chapter 3 from Who Would You Be Without Your Story >>

Are you trying to spare someone’s feelings by denying yourself? Free yourself from that prison. How can you know that they’ll disapprove? And if they do, whose business is that?

Rebecca: I’m very new at this; a friend just invited me to come to your event today, and voilà! Here I am. My question refers to the parent-child relationship. Actually, it sort of stems from a problem that I have with my mother. And I lied when I filled in the Worksheet. The problem was not with [choking back tears] relationships that I have now. It’s . . . probably something that I didn’t work out with her . . . probably am unable to.

Katie: So what is it with your mother that you haven’t worked out yet?

Rebecca: Well, I come from a conservative Jamaican family, and I’ve been living in America now for twelve years, so I don’t have my family with me. And I have to depend on myself, to pat myself on the back and say, “You’re doing okay!” I find myself, though . . .

Katie: Sweetheart, what’s the problem with your mother?

Rebecca: I’m not certain I can get her approval to do what I really, really want to do.

Katie: And what is that?

Rebecca: Well, it’s music . . . yes. They’ve told me in the past that I shouldn’t. In a conservative family, you do something practical.

Katie: So if your life became all about music as an occupation . . .

Rebecca: Well, I can’t even imagine that. I think of it all the time, and it’s . . . [She chokes back tears.]

Katie: . . . and it’s overflowing.

Rebecca: I teach business English, and my business is going very well, and this is something my mother approves of, especially when I’m so far away.

Katie: So what is it she would not approve of?

Rebecca: Doing something impractical, something that’s so risky.

Katie: Like what?

Rebecca: Singing . . . yes.

Katie: Singing where, how? As an occupation?

Rebecca: Possibly, yes.

Katie: So “if you dropped your profession . . .

Rebecca: I dare not.

Katie: . . . and you became a singer, your mother wouldn’t approve”—is that true?

Rebecca: She would kill herself with worry.

If you say that you love your husband, what does that have to do with him?

You're just telling him who you are. You tell the story of how he's handsome and fascinating and sexy, and you love your story about him. You're projecting that he's your story. And then when he doesn't give you what you want, you may tell the story of how he's mean, he's controlling, he's selfish—and what does that have to do with him? If my husband says, "I adore you," I think, "Good. I love that he thinks I'm his sweet dream. How happy he must feel about that!"

If he were ever to come to me and say, "The sorriest day of my life was when I married you," still, what would that have to do with me? He'd just be in a sad dream this time, and I might think, "Oh poor baby, he's having a nightmare. I hope he wakes up soon." It's not personal. How can it have anything to do with me? I love him, and if what he says about me isn't true in my experience, I would ask him if there's anything I can do for him. If I can do it, I will, and if it's not honest for me, I won't. He is left with his story. No one will ever understand you. Realizing this is freedom. No one will ever understand you—not once, not ever. Even at our most understanding, we can only understand our story of who you are. There's no understanding here except your own. If you don't love another person, it hurts, because love is your very self. You can't make yourself do it.

But when you come to love yourself, you automatically love the other person. It's not a choice. Just as you can't make yourself love us, you can't make yourself not love us. Husbands, wives, lovers—all a projection of mind. When you truly love someone, a thought like "You should love me" brings laughter to your heart. Can you hear the arrogance of that thought? "I don't care whom you want to love. You should love me, and I'll even trick you into it if need be, or at least I'll try to, out of my self-deluded head." This is the opposite of love.

If I think my husband should love me, I'm insane. Whose business is it whom he loves? His, of course. The turnarounds show me the way toward what is truer to my heart: I should love me, and I should love him. Let him love whomever he loves—he's going to anyway. The story of whom someone should love keeps me from the awareness that I am what I'm seeking. It's not his job to love me—it's mine.

Katie:

Peace and Love,
JJ

Dearest JJ,

You do "yet" know how, The Work works when your dear mind is open to "what is next". You're not prepared for his death yet, is it true?

It sounds like your not prepared for his LIFE yet, he isn't dead, he is still living!!!!!! The dead or dying son in your heads image is not your son, it is an image. You are trading your sons life now, for images of death, not your sons life and it is "killing" your time with him and your life with him in joy. He has a right to believe that he is "not worth it", listen to him, he has a right to his opinion and it doesn't mean that he isn't worth everything to you, you can still honor his opinion. You don't have to agree, your opinion is your business unless you think that his life is not worth $1500. per mo and maybe you don't sense you don't believe that he is going to live anyway, and in an odd way it is understandable that the mind would take you there.

I love you JJ, don't let your unquestioned mind cost you one minute with that darling, dear, dearest son of yours. Is it sadness that you are feeling or love? Isn't it love, feel it as deeply as you can, let it live in you, allow it, let it cry you, take you over even, its okay, love is all powerful. Don't confuse feelings that you believe to be sadness with what love feels like, my dearest. I am with you, ask him to hold you for me.

with all of my heart,
kt

I ran away from a 29 year marriage with 2 suitcases and not much else. I was in such a state of fear/anxiety that I was shaking uncontrollably as I drove away from the house...fearing I might meet my husband on the road somewhere in the very rural small town setting where we lived.

I was forced to give up my medications for depression/anxiety because he chose not to work and to use all of our savings until we had none left and he applied for welfare. My attempt at suicide to escape the darkness, loneliness and utter fear/desperation failed--he left me lie unconscious for 3 days in our bed without ever calling 911. Somehow, when I awoke, he just yelled as usual that I "should go live in a f--in hole somewhere and not be so selfish to do something like that again!" This from a man who was a former CEO of a company and now due to his life choices, our family was on welfare and without any insurance or income.

My thoughts were in such a state of confusion, I couldn't think. I was just in survival mode there for months now. I left the state and ran to family for safety and relief. I spent the better part of the next year sobbing, unable to eat/sleep and barely functioning day-to-day. During the year, I tried talking to him, he was unwilling. I finally filed for divorce and after having to go back to the state again and see him (and him yelling abusively at me as though I had never left a year before, and this time in front of one of our children), I knew it was the only thing I could have done. After the divorce hearing and seeing him again was so devastating, returning back to my family again, I was inconsolable. I felt complete devastation and was consumed by suicidal thoughts. Unable again to eat/sleep/think I spent one night hugging the toilet bowl on the bathroom floor for 10 hours dry-heaving and sobbing. I didn't know what to do. I saw Byron Katie on YouTube and had had two of her books. It looked like relief. I picked up her book and couldn't even process the sentences in my head I was in such an awful place. I just continued to watch videos. Then, I found her website and wrote a letter about myself and my situation. I received a response almost immediately which helped me hang on. Katie invited me to Turnaround House and I gratefully accepted that invitation.

It was difficult for me to imagine attending the program, but I felt it was my only hope for a way out. On the way to California on the plane I finally read Katie's book Loving What Is and I felt so much better afterwards seeing how much her program had helped people who were confused and in fear to become at peace with themselves. I felt Katie could resonate with me personally as I was coming from a very similarly dark place that she had lived in herself before finding her way out through The Work. Although I had never met her, I trusted her completely.

I attended the Turnaround House program and am now home. To say this was life-changing is a serious understatement. Words cannot begin to describe that I am not the same person coming out that went into it. I am happy and have a peacefulness within my life which I have never known before. I know I will never need depression/anxiety medications again. I know now that LOVE heals. This program is LOVE. Katie and her staff were completely committed to loving me and helping me heal myself. Its all about self-realization and self-empowerment. I have the confidence to face whatever comes in life now.

I am so grateful to Katie for taking me into her heart and program and giving me the tools to have the life I now know I deserve and love. I love them all and I love me now too.

KB

What are the beliefs that are getting in the way of your job or your business?

In the same way as we do inquiry on our stressful thoughts about people in our lives, we can do business inquiry, questioning the assumptions we take to work and about our work or not having work. These assumptions may seem neutral to some of you, but they may in fact be causing a lot of stress in your life.

Why do we do things the same way over and over again and expect different results? Because we are believing our unquestioned thoughts over and over again in the same way, that's why. Simple.

What if we were to challenge our underlying beliefs, the beliefs about our work, the markets, our products and services, our customers, our partners, suppliers, our financial thinking, in fact everything we believe to be true about our jobs, the people we work with, our businesses?

Here's how.

(Notice how familiar this process is.)

Next:

Jerry's Business Inquiry >> "Having More Customers Means Having More Profits"

This is Jerry's Business Inquiry example: "Having more customers means having more profits"

Jerry: "I am a business development manager for a mid-size consumer goods company, and my team has a real hard time with this. We believe that 'having more customers means having more profit.' "

Next, Jerry questions the common business assumption held by his team. As you follow his inquiry, I invite you to notice your own experience in life when you believe this thought. (Maybe yours is, "Having more money means having a happier life." Or "having more friends means having more income." Or, "…….?")

Ask yourself: is it true? Is it true that "having more customers means having more profits"?
"Yes."

Can you absolutely know that it's true?
"No, we can't be 100% sure."

So how do you react when you believe the assumption that more customers equals more profit?
"Well, we go crazy trying to win new customers. We lower our prices, we go out of our way to sell. Sometimes our sales people push too hard. Sometimes they over-promise. Sometimes we fight with marketing or the product development team. . We stop trusting them, we begin to see it as "us," the good guys, versus "them," the bad guys, the ones not doing their jobs. We try to meet our quotas at all costs. Discounts, financing games. These hurt our business and our reputation."

Who would you be without that thought?
"We might have more time and energy to focus on the customers we do have, or on improving our product. We could work on getting closer to our best customers, helping them thrive. We could become more valuable to them. We could tailor some of our products for their customers, helping them stand out from their competitors. And if they're successful, we share in that success. They'll buy more, we'll sell more. We know their demographic quite well, and we could work together on making something of value for their customers. There's a side benefit there. We'll reduce our marketing costs if we can make the same revenue with fewer customers."

Turn the belief around.
"Having fewer customers means having more profit.'

Might that be as true as or truer than the original belief?
"I can see that it might be at least as true. It depends on what we are doing to get more customers, and on what we could do without trying so hard to get more. We could focus on our most profitable customers. We could get closer to our most valuable customers. We could definitely be integrated more tightly. We could focus on helping our customers' businesses do better."

Can you find three examples to make that a true statement?
"One, we could focus on the customers that have the strongest cash positions, the ones who are most likely to weather the recession.

"And three, we could stop serving customers that don't pay in a timely manner, the ones with poor payment history."

In this example, we see how challenging a simple but powerful belief in the sales team– that "having more customers mean having more profit" leads us to a new strategy to survive and profit in a recessionary economy. What's more, the customers we get closer too during these trying times are the ones who will appreciate and trust us when times get better. So by shrinking our customer base, we actually improve our long-term profitability.

Dear Katie,

B

Dear B,

Let's start with "the stress is unbearable." Is that true? Can you absolutely know that it's true?

How do you react, what happens, when you believe the thought "the stress is unbearable'? What are the images that flood your mind? Do you see yourself as never working again, as destitute, as a homeless person pushing a shopping cart on the street? How do you treat your wife when you believe this thought? How do you treat yourself? Does this thought bring peace or stress into your life? Anything else? Be still. Watch, notice, what else do you see. Notice and identify the emotions that are the response to the images that you experience as though they were real. What else do you see in the silence and stillness of observation?

Now ask yourself: Who would you be without the thought "the stress is unbearable"? Who would you be if you were incapable of thinking that thought in the midst of your emotions as they were happening? Just notice, go back into that space and look again. What did you miss?

Now turn the thought around. "The stress is not unbearable." Can you find three examples when the stress, at its worst, was not unbearable, and it felt to you like it was? Can you get out of bed? Is the stress too heavy for you to brush your teeth in the morning? Perhaps you went to the park for a walk with your wife. Maybe you were watching your favorite TV show, or simply sharing a joke. Find at least three specific, genuine examples. Who knows?—you may find dozens of them that are true for you every day. I have noticed that in the face of what we are believing, reality waits to be noticed; eventually we wake up to it or not. (Some choose not to and some can't yet, and it is until it's not.) The Work is about collapsing that time, that dream, that trance. The unquestioned I-know mind will lead you to believe that your stressful thought in the moment is not only true but it is true forever. A belief in the moment is more powerful than any "thing." It is powerful enough to create the entire world as you understand it to be.

The original thought, "the stress is unbearable," is itself the cause of stress. When you realize this, you may also realize that every untrue thought that you're believing creates not only life but a life with stress. And then you may realize that stress can only come from believing your thoughts about the world. It does not, it cannot, come from the world. Realizing this is a very major road to inner peace.

I invite you to write down your stressful thoughts as they occur, and investigate them. Use the four questions and the turnarounds, with examples of each turnaround. "We're going to lose our home." "I'll never get a job." "I'm a failure." "I'll be out on the streets." "My family will fall into ruin." "I can't survive on the streets." "I can't survive." "My family will leave me." " They will lose respect for me." And on and on.

What is is, but only because it is. Until you wake up to reality in the moment, it is very difficult, even impossible, to love what is. Have you noticed? The only thing that can cause you stress is the story of a past or a future. What I love about the past is that it's over! What I love about the future is that it doesn't exist. What I love about this moment now is that I can "be" this that I am awake to. No problem! I already am.

In this moment now, all the pain that was ever suffered in the world is past, and that is the grace that we cannot appreciate when we are believing our past/future stories. Because the mind is believing its thoughts, often we feel tortured now as we live in reality, a true state of grace in the moment. It's not right or wrong, it's just that reality is always kind. But the story we superimpose onto reality can be hell. So I invite all people directly to the wisdom inside them, and The Work can take you there anytime you are open to your own self, your own true wisdom. Find the way out of the nightmares that you experience by going in.

And if there's something to fear, wait until it happens and be fearful then. Why be frightened about a thought of a possible future when it is only a thought that is producing the movie?

Once you can think clearly, without the stress of your painful thoughts, the whole world, in all of its unlimited abundance and glory, will open up for you. A fearful mind is limited; it can see only a very few options. A clear mind can see many more options—unlimited options. It can act efficiently, effortlessly, intelligently, in the present moment, and not be stuck in its deadly stories of past and future.

My job is to extend the invitation to do The Work and to let you know that The Work works for everyone whose mind is open to it, and that the only thing that stands between you and a peaceful life is your unquestioned thinking. That's all. I invite you to question "We are barely scraping by." And to move to other turnarounds on the above concept, "the stress is unbearable." What is the opposite of "unbearable"? Have fun with that. Or what is the opposite of stress? "Joy"? The joy is unbearable?

I am loving what is in this moment now, "it" works,

bk

Dear Ms. Katie,

Thank you for saving my 17 years of marriage with I Need Your Love—Is That True?

I read your book in a mountain inn as I was ready to leave my husband. I cried and realized it was all me. Just to let you know that we are happily married because I have changed.

Thanks and God bless you.

S.

We recently received the following comment on this blog:

Dear Katie,

Sheila

Dearest Sheila,

How to stop worrying? I invite you to all four questions and to consider any genuine examples discovered after each turnaround.

Question your stressful thought, “My brothers have been shot.”

Ask yourself:

1. Is it true? Yes or no?

2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Answer with either a yes or a no after you consider the question. Take your time. Notice that your mind tends to justify or defend what it is believing, and gently return to “Is it true? Can I really know that it’s true that they have been shot?”

3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe the thought “My brothers have been shot”? Do you see images in your mind’s eye of them being shot? Do you see them bleeding on a sidewalk, maybe? Maybe you them dead in your mind’s eye? Are they really your brothers or are they images in your head? I am inviting you to notice. Are your emotions being produced as a result of your brothers being shot in reality, or are your emotions the result of what is appearing, now, only in your mind’s dream? I invite you to realize for yourself the difference between mind and reality, the differences between the images in your mind and the state of grace of reality, this moment now and its gifts.

4. Who would you be without that thought, “My brothers have been shot”? Free to notice the grace of this moment, right here, right now. Able to watch television or YouTube or Twitter without fear. Perhaps appreciating the courage and bravery of the students without feeling panic, learning from them as you watch their courage, a courage that is also within you any time you become aware that everything you fear about the future are things you cannot know. Perhaps speaking out clearly in the protests in your part of the world (for me “protest” means to offer up intelligent solutions and examples of why what you believe to be true is a wiser, kinder way of governing). Perhaps reaching out without fear to a friend or relative who is also worried.

Now consider turnarounds to the thought “My brothers have been shot.”

What are some alternatives? One turnaround would be “My brothers have not been shot.” Give yourself examples of why this turnaround might be true.

Another turnaround: “I am shooting my brothers.” In your mind, aren’t you shooting them? And are you using their enemies to shoot them? What is the point of creating your brothers’ death and using their “enemies” to do it with, in your mind, over and over, when you don’t really know what is happening or even what they are doing right here from where you are, right now? The reality is that they are alive, as far as you can know, until you learn otherwise. When you accept reality just as it is, right here, right now, there is nothing between you and reality that would cost you the ability to serve what you can serve and to change what you can from where you are, right here, right now. This is just one of the advantages of the fearless, loving mind wherever you are. (Does fear feel kind to you when you’re in it? Is that what you use to motivate you into action? Fear is limiting; test it yourself.) As it is, you are superimposing your thought onto reality. To project your fears and experience them as real is often self-defeating and terrifying. Your blood pressure, your health, your energy, your right to the gift of real life is imagined away and replaced by unchecked imagination. Your physical health and the health of those around you are affected when you are lost in imagination as though it were real, swept away in the dream of what isn’t, right here, right now. Unquestioned thoughts are the root cause of all suffering and can be debilitating. It is a wonderful thing to question one’s mind, to do The Work and wake up to, be transformed into, what has been referred to as “the peace of God,” “the peace that passeth all understanding,” and be left with “What can I do to help from here, right now?” The Work offers each of us the opportunity to wake up from the nightmare, to wake up into what is real. Thank you, dearest, and let me know what you hear of your brothers.

Also, please do The Work on this: “My brothers are hurting.”

And there is another turnaround that I challenge you to consider through examples: ”My brothers have shot someone else” or “My brothers are shooting someone else.” Be gentle with this one. Though it may sound like a horrific concept to consider, to Work this thought can bring great insight and much peace. Those of you who have brothers sisters or friends in your life that you worry about in this kind of situation, I invite you to Work the turnaround, “My brothers are hurting,” and to get back to Sheila with what you find to be true. Please feel free to use the One-Belief-at-a-Time Worksheets; they are also a free download on thework.com. I invite all of you interested in Working this concept the opportunity to type in your response on this blog in the "comments" section below.

In love as you are, waiting for you to wake up to you as I see you to be,

Love,
kt

Dearest Family,

We have received many phone calls asking the same question: "Is there still room for me at the School?"

There is always room for you at the School.

I would love to see everyone at the School of You this Friday, early evening. If you want to attend, click here to register, or call 1-888-98-KATIE (52843). (And for those of you unable to attend, all life is “the School,” and I love that no one has to miss it.)

And for those of you who would like a sneak preview of the School, here is Richard Lawrence Cohen's first-hand account of his journey.

Dear Katie,

I do not know if you will get this, but I must thank you for your book Loving What Is. I was left by my girlfriend and baby and alone in Mexico with only hate mail and lawyer papers emailed to me, and no clue as to where my now past family was. As I travelled back to Canada I was terribly sad and could hardly hold back the desperation and sadness as I flew from Cancun to Minneapolis. I knew instinctively at the time that I had to be okay with them being gone, and me being alone and not able to see my child as a restraining order had been placed on me and there were so many unknowns. I went to a book store and picked up a few books and then I saw the title of yours Loving What Is; this caught my attention immediately, so I purchased the book. When I was sitting in the airport in the same eating area near a pizza place that my girlfriend and baby had eaten at not 9 months earlier, I was overwhelmed with remorse. So I left the area and found a chair and opened your book and started reading. It wasn't 30 minutes and I was suddenly sitting taller and feeling free from the pain. I continued to read and even as my hunger grew I went back to the pizza place and ordered the same mini pizza I had eaten when with my family. I sat there reading and eating that amazing pizza, which it turns out was "humble pie" pizza which I thought fitting later on as I found the receipt in my wallet and had a good laugh.

As I was reading, I started posing the 4 questions to my thoughts "she should not have left me", "I should be able to see my baby", "she should not be able to take my baby", "she should be more understanding and forgiving", the answers came quickly and so did the turnarounds. It was like seeing for the first time, I had absolutely thought myself into depression, suicide, abuse and bankruptcy and then being left alone. I do not know how to describe the feelings that welled up inside me, but it was an awakening or epiphany, or whatever other way one could describe it. As I sat there I started to smile and enjoy my pizza, and it tasted so good, I was talking to the person next to me an simply felt good in that moment.

By the time I was flying to Winnipeg, I was so happy in the moment, for I realized everything I believed true about my life had been a lie and a deception from stories I had created for myself without knowing it. I realized so quickly that I was simply a kind, loving man sitting on a plane flying to Winnipeg, and as I reminisced with a fellow passenger, I knew from that moment on in my life I had finally come to understand what it was that was crushing me into oblivion. When I got to Winnipeg my sister was there waiting for me at the airport, and as I approached they were uncertain to as my state of depression or sadness and were unsure of how to act, I was smiling like the day my baby girl was born and I gave my sister a big hug and was laughing and joking and having a great time all the way home. They were none the less surprised, when asked why I was this way, I had said I had found this book, not sure what the title is though. For a few days my sister continued to ask me if the book was by Byron Katie, and I was like, I don't have a clue. As I am more about substance than the title or author, sort of like the way I am with a good movie, no idea what it's called, but it was good. She asked me if there was a blond lady on the front of the book, and I still had no idea, and as I talked about it she went and found the book in my carry on bag and showed me the book. And there it was, Byron Katie and a beautiful blond on the cover! We had a good laugh, and she started to tell me how she had been reading your stuff for a couple of years.

I thank you for your strategies in understanding our thoughts, it has changed my life. I have not seen my daughter or girlfriend in 3 months, and I am happy every day now, this would not have been possible 3 months ago. I would have cratered and fallen deeper into sadness and depression. Now I feel so free, my thoughts no longer lead the way, I lead them and decide on what to believe and how. It takes work, but I am so thankful I met your amazing Work through your book. I hope to come to a workshop someday when I have the money and I am on my feet, and look forward to meeting the woman who forever changed my life.

God bless you!

Sincerely,
David

Here is a letter from a young woman who was falling into despair.

Your generous donations to the Work Foundation allow me to offer her (and so many people like her) scholarships to the School for The Work and Turnaround House, and I am so very grateful for that.

Hello,

Thanks, S.

Again, thank you, family, for supporting this Work as it enters the lives of so many families.
Love, kt

Tiger-Tiger, Is It True? is a story about a little tiger who thinks that his whole world is falling apart: his parents don’t love him, his friends have abandoned him, and life is unfair. But a wise turtle asks him four questions, and everything changes. He realizes that all his problems are not caused by things, but by his thoughts about things; and that when he questions his thoughts, life becomes wonderful again.

Order the book here >>

Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. The first study to look at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that when people think about forgiving an offender it leads to improved functioning in their cardiovascular and nervous systems. Another study at the University of Wisconsin found the more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses. The less forgiving people reported a greater number of health problems.

Whether you are having difficulty forgiving your partner, feeling frustrated with yourself, your children, are angry with your parents, or are simply tired of feeling stuck and anxious about relationships in your life, this extraordinary forgiveness workshop is for you.

Schedule
Friday, September 18, 6:00pm - 9:00 pm
Saturday, September 19, 9:30 am - 5:00 pm
Sunday, September 20, 9:30 am - 12:30 pm

Location
The Center for The Work
213 N. Montgomery Street
Ojai, California

Cost
$495 (Workshop only)
View our listing of local accommodations and services

Registration
Register for the Forgiveness Workshop
or call 1-805-444-5799 or
1-800-98-KATIE (52843)
International: (001) 805-444-5799

Questions? Email: eventquestions@thework.com

Forgiveness Workshop in Ojai, California in September 2009

On 09-10-09, I attended Byron Katie’s workshop. The participants were asked, “What is the thing you are most ashamed of in your life?”

Like many of my incarcerated peers, I found myself answering Ms. Katie’s question by stating my crime, enduring the labels associated with my crime (i.e. murderer), and the domino effects that my crime has had on so many other people. This would include my victim, my victim’s family, my community, my own family members, and my own unmet potentials in life.

A week later I read A Thousand Names for Joy. Through Ms. Katie’s work with my incarcerated peers, many of whom are lifers like me, and after reading this book, I am better able to “turn it around.” I rewrote my initial statement, as if it was written about me by someone else. I redescribed my problem of believing outdated labels (i.e. prisoner, lifer, murderer, etc.). This all resulted in my embracing myself in a more positive manner. I even looked at myself in the mirror, inside my prison cell, and for the first time in my 31 years of incarceration, I came to a more meaningful sense of serenity (peace of mind) and self-realization of who I am as a man. I no longer fear tomorrow, nor carry the weight of yesterday. Instead, I swim in the pool of today’s reality, swimming with the current of today, and even wearing a smile throughout my worthwhile day.

Thank you, Ms. Katie for the workshop. Please come back soon and help us help ourselves.

C.

Learn more >>

Start the New Year with greater clarity and freedom. The New Year’s Mental Cleanse is a rare opportunity to spend four enjoyable and transformative days immersed in the power of inquiry with Byron Katie and friends from all over the world.

Katie’s untiring commitment, her total accessibility, and the casual atmosphere of the Mental Cleanse are some of the reasons why it has become an eagerly anticipated annual tradition.

Sign up now >>

Hello Katie and Staff from the school of the work October 2009,

My name is A and I was at the last School for the Work. I was the one who brought a companion and had bipolar. During the school I would often go to sleep early so I missed some School. I wanted to just let you know that the School was very beneficial and that I have kept up with my homework and done a lot of good work.

There are many things I could share but the main thing is that since the School I have severely reduced panic problems. Before the School I had what is called a Panic Disorder that developed after a severe seizure a couple years ago. My life had become small. I was very tired of suffering with it and I believed there was a better way - I wanted my life back!

It was a enormous thing just to get to the school and that in and of itself would have been enough of an accomplishment for me but there was more... something came loose during the graduation ceremony; like the hand that griped my heart just let go; like pulling off a silk scarf, it just slipped away. It happened the moment Sinead O'Connor sang: 'thank you for not hurting me".

It was a terrifying sensation, perhaps the worst thing I could imagine happening and so far from my home too. I went up stairs to my room and cried a beautiful cry and my panic disorder was dissipated from then on. For weeks after getting home I waited for it to wear off and for my panic to return; I waited for the other shoe to drop and 2.5 months later...still no problems, I've come to trust it! Can you believe it, its a miracle to me. I can go in the left hand turn lanes, in the drive through lanes, in an elevator, I can leave my house, be in group setting, go to the grocery store and more. I started volunteering at the Humane Society walking the dogs there every week! It is a great source of joy for me. I'm thinking about getting a job too. I just wanted you to know that I got what I came for and thank you for extending a scholarship to me.

I'm starting to get what you're teaching and I love you for it. I'm living it.
Many 'thank you's :)

A

Dear Katie,

Dearest David,

You can’t create a no-mind, a don’t-know mind; it already exists, and it doesn’t need to be created. In my experience, as we question our stressful thoughts, we begin to experience the no-mind, without effort. It ceases to be something we’re trying to do and begins to be experienced as a natural state of being.

Question any thoughts about the future that come to your mind. If the mind believes a stressful thought that is even thirty seconds in the future, it will naturally leave you out of the now, frightened, depressed and lonely. Here are some things you may sometimes feel in your situation. You can question any of them that seem relevant:

I’ll never get through this.

I don’t know what I’m doing here.

This is never going to end.

I can’t handle it.

I want to go home.

I’m going to die here.

It’s very important when you’re using the four questions to understand that the moment you stop answering the questions, The Work stops working; for example, as you’re answering, when you notice your mind wanting to defend or justify the concept that you’re questioning, with something like, "Yes, because" or "No, but." Just allow the answers to the first two questions to be your own honest yes or no only, and even though you may be sure that your truth is "yes," for example, allow the "no" equal rights, test it as well, against the first two questions and allow your answer to drop in, to fall into the depths of yourself. Give your answer time to live in you before you continue on to the next question. Allow your feelings fully in the third question, give them time to express themselves completely. Watch, witness, experience how you react when you believe that thought. Be still with the fourth question as well. Notice who you would be without that thought. Who would you be in life if you didn’t believe the thought that you are questioning? Also, when you’re doing the turnarounds, with each turnaround it’s important to find examples of how each turnaround is true in your life. The turnarounds are not meant to be "positive affirmations"; they have to be genuine and real, not manufactured as feel-good (even though some of them really shift your life to an authentic state of "feel-goodness").

There is no internal or external war that cannot be worked through, if peace is your goal. The Work works for those whose minds are open to it, whatever the circumstances. I love that you do The Work for the love of truth, for the love of peace and no other motive.

Also, if you fill in Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheets, there are people within the Institute for The Work whose hearts’ desire it would be to facilitate you, at no charge, as a service to you as a soldier. (You can do this through Skype.) Freedom from fear is possible in a war zone, even on a battlefield. I love that you understand that the world, including war zones, is not the problem; what we’re believing about the world is the problem. Our beliefs create our internal war zone, and the end of suffering is possible, one belief at a time, for everyone whose mind is open to this inquiry, The Work.

I send you my love and gratitude for your life in this world, and anything that I can do to serve you, please return this email with your request.

In deepest gratitude,

Loving what is, and that would be you,

Byron Katie

Dear Katie,
I am forever grateful for your email. I really appreciate the fact that you took the time out of your busy schedule for me, it really means a lot! The questions that you mentioned all applied to me, especially the one that states "I'm going to die here." The danger that I have been exposed to has brought up feelings of stress and anxiety. But I have never felt more compelled to be present and at peace, to share love and compassion with fellow service members, locals, and even the enemy. As we all know, war is a terrible unconscious act of humanity as a whole. My acceptance and surrender to this is becoming more apparent every day. Your teachings have really helped me find the tranquility that I have longed for. Thanks again.

Sincerely,
David

Dear Katie,

B

Dearest B,

My goodness! The simple answer is, “I like them and wish to support them and I like me when I do that.” And no one is “supposed” to love what is, nor can they, until they are no longer fooled by their minds. I simply do love what is, because I have questioned my stressful thoughts thoroughly enough to know how the mind creates all the suffering in the world. For example, if I were to believe that the earthquake shouldn’t have happened, or if I were to imagine their pain and project it onto myself as though it were mine, it would be borrowing pain that isn’t mine, as well as costing me this amazing state of grace to be one who is freed up and in a position to help. I don’t want to add my false suffering as an aftershock to the Haitians. How would that help anyone? It certainly wouldn’t help them, and it wouldn’t help me be as someone compassionately available and aware enough to see myself and them clearly enough to send support. To send support when I know to do it allows me to join where I want to, and the affect is a guiltless state of mind, one that joins without fear. I realize that the earthquake should have happened, because it did happen (in this dream I call reality). What happened happened, and in my kindest world, what is the best-intentioned wanting? It is “How can I help you, add to you in your time of need when I have no need myself?” That’s it, and nothing in the world can change that truest reality of our most authentic and pure kind nature.

I don’t want earthquakes to happen before the fact; but once they happen, that’s what I want. I am a lover of reality. As I often say, when you argue with God, you lose—but only 100% of the time.

Stephen gashed his finger the other day and came in and asked me to drive him to the emergency room for stitches. The blood was really gushing out quite strongly. I didn’t say, “Oh, it’s good that it happened, now you can bleed all over your clothes and the rug.” Rather, we hopped into the car, I drove to the hospital, and he got five stitches in his left hand. Actually it was fun, really fun for both of us. The doctor turned out to be a neighbor whom we hadn’t met yet, and Stephen said that he learned something about blood that will be useful when he writes about the Iliad, which is quite bloody. (He is translating the Iliad from ancient Greek. He finds that great fun—which I find hilarious, and very dear.)

"Loving what is" doesn’t mean that you are passive. Love is action. It lives from the inside out. It is source. People who are suffering are me, they are my own old self being witnessed—that part of my old mind that hasn’t caught up yet, my mind being witnessed, or, in other words, my mind coming back at me to see what is love and what isn’t yet. My mind, your mind, all mind: the same.. I respond to them (people, mind) with the same kindness as I practice toward myself, when I get up and brush my teeth and feed and water this body of the woman people call Katie. Some believe it and some don’t.

When someone comes to me who is suffering, my internal mind’s response and experience is “How can I help?” I don’t think that they shouldn’t be suffering. They are suffering (in their experience, and that makes it real for them as it used to be for “me”). That’s their truth, for the moment and I have mine and theirs is the cause of their suffering until it isn’t. If they are angry or depressed or sad or resentful, I never think that they shouldn’t be feeling what they’re feeling, or that whatever happened to them (as they see it) shouldn’t have happened. I listen. I am available as a “humane” being and friend. I am there to help them question the mind that is creating their suffering. I love that they come to me with an open mind, if they do; and if their mind is not so open, I love that too. Everything is welcome here.

I sent money to Haiti because that seemed to me the kind, right-minded thing to do. I just knew to do it. It was a wholehearted response to an invitation to help. That asking is what is, just as the earthquake is what is. Now that the earthquake happened, I love that people asked me for help, and I love love in action and sending money is just one way. Are you metaphorically experiencing an earthquake within you? If so, let’s do The Work.

Love,
kt

PS - see Dr. Paul Farmer's Op-Ed >>

Question:
Katie, Every year I make New Years Resolutions only to break them a month later and feel bad. How can the Work help me when I break my resolutions? Is there any point to making them in the first place?

Katie:
Let’s say I wanted to be a kinder human being toward my children and I find myself frustrated, losing my temper, and giving them “the look.”

I would identify what I was believing during that behavior. And after identifying my thoughts I would write them down on paper. I would do The Work on those thoughts and I would also do The Work on “I raised my voice to my children.”

Then I would make a list, from the prompt “I raised my voice to my children and that means that...”

...that means that I’m a terrible person.
...that means that I’m a loser.
...that means that I will never get it right.
...that means that they will never forgive me.
...that means that I hurt them.

Then I would ask the four questions and do the turnarounds on each thought.

And that is what I did do for a few years after 1986. I became a kinder human being with no necessity to make New Year’s resolutions.

What am I resolved to do? Just answer the questions that you’re asking and enjoy this conversation with you right now and love that it would serve others the way that this process has served me.

What are some of the underlying beliefs in your experience that cause you to break your resolutions?

Below are responses from candidates in the Institute for The Work, who have been answering this question this month, and then doing The Work on the underlying beliefs they’ve uncovered:

There’s something wrong with me.
Things need to happen for me this year.
I need to get my life back together this year.
I am incapable of real love.
I am overwhelmed.
I can’t make the right decision.
I have no control.
I should know better and done better.

The following text was written to Zahid from Bahawalpur, Pakistan, by a 27-year-old woman with two young children. (She uses her mobile phone to get on the Internet.) Here is the translation:

Dear Zahid,
I just went though Katie’s little book. It’s amazing. Now it’s time for the Worksheets, but before filing in those I’m going to read them out peacefully. The insight about staying in my own business is superb, I have generally sorted out that most of my transactions are really not my business at all...it’s really funny. Tell me one thing: What can I do with little kids, I mean they are totally dependant on me and isn’t a mother’s duty to defend them or solve their problems?

I really understand what you want to say and the joy that one has in the heart. I didn’t really know about presentation of this method in Pakistan, but one thing is true: Pakistan and the Pakistanis are suffering a lot and most of them really need counseling because their depressions are getting wild with each passing day. I love the statement "being born again," in fact I want to be born again and that miracle is happening.

It’s true, it’s true! Within two days of knowing The Work, it is...really out of this world! I never realized how near happiness was. I’m going mad about jumping into Worksheets, but I have to sit calmly to sort out what is most stressful. It seems that Allah has blessed me with an angel in your form whom I can trust due to knowing my parents and family and letting me know what I was searching for until now. You know what my reaction would be to see Katie. Just jumping at her and kissing her on her forehead like buddha: amazing! Lots of love, lots of love, lots of love, I’ve never ever gone though such deep replies because whenever I asked anyone they replied but most of that was related to philosophy. And I rather didn’t understand Sakeel, Urdu, or Persian or difficult things. Blessings to you and her.

You know what? Whenever I want to do a Worksheet a wish from inside comes to pick up that small book you sent and read it. It’s the fourth time I’m reading it and I want to share something very great...When I think of myself and close my eyes...or when I tell somebody about The Work, I feel like a light coming out right from the middle of my heart and spreading like sunlight.

Here is a letter from a woman in Europe kind enough to write to Katie even though her first language isn’t English.

For twenty years i've been married with my husband and you know, I had for twenty years resentment in this and I couldn’t get through it. I did The Work on it last August, I sent a letter, and still my resentment didn't resolve till now. I couldn’t find what i wasfighting.....was it my illusion to fight.......I don't love him or was it my heart telling me it wasn't the right man. I did the work on it and I couldn't come to a point and then............

So now I have to get used to a life with nice points of views in my marriage and this feels rather funny.

Thank you for writing, dearest, and I don’t call it The Work for nothing! Daily maintenance can give a life of joy and understanding to all situations, in my experience and freedom to love is your birthright. I invite you to check into possibilities of enrolling in the Institute for The Work. I developed this ongoing life school for those people who have been to the School for The Work and choose to do The Work as a daily practice. I like to say, “Do the work for breakfast and have a great life.” I am so very happy that you know how to find the way to your heart, husband, family, world, and peace. Thank you, angel. In love and gratitude for your humor, love, and light.

xoxo
kt

Who Would You Be Without Your Story?
July 16 - 17, 2010
Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Loving What Is: The End of Suffering
July 20, 2010
Paris, France

Who Would You Be Without Your Story?
July 24, 2010
London, England

Loving What Is: Lieben Was Ist
July 27, 2010
Cologne, Germany

School for The Work
July 30 - August 8, 2010
Bad Neuenahr, Germany

Details here >>

Learn more about The School for The Work >>

Buy it from Amazon or the The Work Store >>

(freely translated by Stephen Mitchell)

Mind creates the world;
what you see arises with your thoughts.
If you speak and act with a confused mind,
trouble will follow you as certainly
as a cart follows the ox that pulls it.

Mind creates the world;
what you see arises with your thoughts.
If you speak and act with a clear mind,
happiness will follow you as certainly
as your own shadow in sunlight.

"It’s his fault." "She shouldn’t have done that."
Believe such thoughts, and you live in resentment.

"It’s his fault." "She shouldn’t have done that."
Question such thoughts, and you live in freedom.

Anger teaches anger.
Fear results in more fear.
Only understanding can lead to peace.
This is the ancient law.

Across the world, many of you have written me recently about money and finances and told me how worried you are about your jobs, your income, and the state of the economy in your country.

Here are two articles that may help:

- "I Lost My Job" (ByronKatie.com)
- 5 Way To Overcome The Job-Search Blues (US News & World Report)

How do you react, what happens, when you believe the thought "the stress is unbearable"?(All anger and frustration best belongs on paper!)

Find a situation, a moment in time, when you were thinking, “The stress is unbearable” about your finances, a lost job, or anything else in your life. Download a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet from thework.com and, without moving from that situation in your mind’s eye, fill in the Worksheet. Then, as you begin to question the thoughts identified on your Worksheet, notice the emotions you are experiencing, and the images that flood your mind. Do you see yourself as never working again, as unable to support yourself, as destitute, as a homeless person pushing a shopping cart on the street? How do you treat your loved ones when you believe that thought? How do you treat yourself? Does the thought bring peace or stress to your life. When you believe the thought, can you feel any addictions starting to form? Do you act on them?

Notice and identify the emotions that you feel when you believe the thought you are investigating. Anything else? Be still. Watch, notice. (If you can’t identify the emotions, look at the emotions list on thework.com)

Now spend time in the fourth question and experience who you would be, in that same situation, without the thought. Who would you be if you didn’t even have the ability to think the thought?

Then turn around the concept you are investigating, finding at least three specific, genuine examples for each turnaround.

What other stressful thoughts and situations come to your mind, if any, around jobs and finances? Do any of the following situations seem familiar? Do any of them need to be investigated on a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet?

“I’m angry at my boss because he fired me.”

“I’m devastated because we’re going to lose our home.”

“I’m depressed because I’ll never find a well-paying job again.”

“I’m disappointed because I’m a failure.”

“I’m (emotion) because without a home, I can’t survive on the streets.”

“I’m (emotion) because without a job I can’t survive.”

“I’m (emotion) because without a job, my family will leave me.”

“I’m (emotion) because without money, everyone will lose respect for me.”

Do you see other situations to write about?

I invite you to write down your stressful thoughts on a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet, as they occur, on each line within the Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet and investigate them one by one. Use the four questions and the turnarounds, with examples for each turnaround and how they are true.

I invite you to Work through your own real-life situations, thought by thought, as written on each line of your Worksheets, in the name of peace. I also invite you to locate a moment in time when you believed that you were not okay. Then, with your eyes closed, do The Work on that thought, in that situation. Going back into that situation, ask yourself, “‘I’m not okay’—is it true?” and continue inquiry until you find turnarounds and examples for each turnaround. Also, please thank yourself when you have completed this meditation, in the name of peace.

I love that you come to see that on the other side of these stressful thoughts freedom is, was, and will always be waiting to be discovered from within you. That freedom is, after all, your birthright.

He hasn't paid child-support in six and a half years. Is it true? Watch as a wife and mother finds that she has the perfect husband and father of her children, if only her mind wouldn't tell her otherwise.

Learn more about The Work >>

Does stress follow you around the Workplace? And do you bring it home?

A man is afraid that no one will come to his event because he has given it the wrong name. He's made the "wrong decision."

Is it true?

Watch as he imagines the worst thing that could happen at his event and discovers the possibility of freedom, right here and right now.

Who is The Work for? It’s for everyone who wants to end their own suffering and whose mind is open to questioning what they believe to be true. If you’d rather be free than right, I invite you to The Work of Byron Katie.

~ ~ ~

Not wanting to change what is comes a state of mind that is literally unimaginable. There’s no sacrifice in it, no deprivation— quite the opposite, in fact. It means to gain everything, the everything that is already yours, and the effect is peace. People who use The Work at home as a practice tell me that they find their own freedom. There is such joy in that, such peace, and it’s a story that can’t be told.

~ ~ ~

The enlightened mind is the mind that you can find no valid reason to shut down.The mind is a seeker. It just wants to know what is real and what isn’t. It’s fascinated by itself. So if you love everything you think, you love everything everyone thinks, and you love everything people say. It’s all mind.

So if someone says, “You’re unkind,” I might say, “Oh my goodness, really? Tell me specifically where I was unkind” (if I haven’t already noticed it, I want to hear what I have missed). I apologize and make it right with that person and to myself where I’m able to. And here we both are, working on my problem, both working on me and not separate. The enlightened mind is never separate from another mind, as there really is only one mind (if any). Not ever. The open mind always understands its own nature and is always open to more understanding, in the ever-shifting expansion of its own creation.

~ ~ ~

To understand our own thinking is to understand all thinking.The mind falls in love with itself, and this amazing love affair is not just the end of war, it’s the beginning of a whole new paradigm. It creates out of a space that is so unlimited in its self-love that it doesn’t ever have to be told or proven or seen. It is its own experience. And it’s happy—in that all.

~ ~ ~

Let’s say someone you love dies. If you’re doing The Work and feel any sadness about it, you may want to ask yourself, “Why is that death a good thing for him or her? Why is it a good thing for me? Why is it a good thing for the world?” But if you don’t question your thinking, someone dies and it’s all about you. You may think it has to do with them and with how much you love them, but if you look more closely, it’s really pure ego. I love to say, “No one can leave me. They don’t have that power.” .” If you are fearful, you’re living in the future, if you are depressed, you’re living in the past When your mind is clear, no one lives beyond identity and that is the end of what has never lived. It is the end of “death.”