ByronKatie.com

The Work of Byron Katie: "He Owes Me!"

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 06:20:24 -0800

He hasn't paid child-support in six and a half years. Is it true? Watch as a wife and mother finds that she has the perfect husband and father of her children, if only her mind wouldn't tell her otherwise. Learn more about The Work >>

Katie in Amsterdam, 2012

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 10:01:31 -0800

"I Want My Clients to See Me for Who I Am"

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 07:45:54 -0800

The State of the Economy

Sun, 16 Oct 2011 00:45:32 -0800

Across the world, many of you have written me recently about money and finances and told me how worried you are about your jobs, your income, and the state of the economy in your country. Here are two articles that may help: - "I Lost My Job" (ByronKatie.com) - 5 Way To Overcome The Job-Search Blues (US News & World Report) How do you react, what happens, when you believe the thought "the stress is unbearable"?(All anger and frustration best belongs on paper!) Find a situation, a moment in time, when you were thinking, “The stress is unbearable” about your finances, a lost job, or anything else in your life. Download a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet from thework.com and, without moving from that situation in your mind’s eye, fill in the Worksheet. Then, as you begin to question the thoughts identified on your Worksheet, notice the emotions you are experiencing, and the images that flood your mind. Do you see yourself as never working again, as unable to support yourself, as destitute, as a homeless person pushing a shopping cart on the street? How do you treat your loved ones when you believe that thought? How do you treat yourself? Does the thought bring peace or stress to your life. When you believe the thought, can you feel any addictions starting to form? Do you act on them? Notice and identify the emotions that you feel when you believe the thought you are investigating. Anything else? Be still. Watch, notice. (If you can’t identify the emotions, look at the emotions list on thework.com) Now spend time in the fourth question and experience who you would be, in that same situation, without the thought. Who would you be if you didn’t even have the ability to think the thought? Then turn around the concept you are investigating, finding at least three specific, genuine examples for each turnaround. What other stressful thoughts and situations come to your mind, if any, around jobs and finances? Do any of the following situations seem familiar? Do any of them need to be investigated on a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet? “I’m angry at my boss because he fired me.” “I’m devastated because we’re going to lose our home.” “I’m depressed because I’ll never find a well-paying job again.” “I’m disappointed because I’m a failure.” “I’m (emotion) because without a home, I can’t survive on the streets.” “I’m (emotion) because without a job I can’t survive.” “I’m (emotion) because without a job, my family will leave me.” “I’m (emotion) because without money, everyone will lose respect for me.” Do you see other situations to write about? I invite you to write down your stressful thoughts on a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet, as they occur, on each line within the Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet and investigate them one by one. Use the four questions and the turnarounds, with examples for each turnaround and how they are true. I invite you to Work through your own real-life situations, thought by thought, as written on each line of your Worksheets, in the name of peace. I also invite you to locate a moment in time when you believed that you were not okay. Then, with your eyes closed, do The Work on that thought, in that situation. Going back into that situation, ask yourself, “‘I’m not okay’—is it true?” and continue inquiry until you find turnarounds and examples for each turnaround. Also, please thank yourself when you have completed this meditation, in the name of peace. I love that you come to see that on the other side of these stressful thoughts freedom is, was, and will always be waiting to be discovered from within you. That freedom is, after all, your birthright.

The Death of Hector

Fri, 23 Sep 2011 11:41:30 -0800

I receive a lot of email about my relationship and marriage with Stephen. Here is a typical moment. We are very quiet together most of the time, and I appreciate the ease and yes, the bliss that meets with that silence. Stephen: "Here’s the salad. Let me know if it needs more vinegar." A few minutes pass. Katie: "How was your morning?" Stephen: "Excellent. Hector was just killed." Some of you know Stephen as a poet, scholar, and translator of great works (all of which would be on my reading list, if I had one). He had just finished his verse translation of Homer’s Iliad, to be published in October. Katie: "Imagine if they had just done The Work, instead of fighting for all those years." Stephen: "Of course that would have been better for them, but we wouldn’t have the Iliad. Personally, I’m opposed to violence, except when it happens in great poetry." (Pause) "And how was your morning?" Katie: “This is the best salad I’ve ever had in my entire life!” And that’s about it. Life with Stephen? Soooo exciting!!!!

Letter: Losing a Child

Sat, 09 Apr 2011 10:27:34 -0800

Dear Katie I know you are very busy and lots of people are asking something of you. I am writing to you, because 'something terrible has happened' - the 6 year old girl of a friend of mine had what is called a freak accident, and she died yesterday. I am very touched by her death, and am writing down lots of beliefs about death, protection, safety, danger and so on, but somehow I absolutely cannot see how I can love that this happened. The idea of loving when somebody loses their child (even if it is only they who believe that) seems cruel and cold. Please can you tell me how one can move from accepting what is to actually loving it? With buckets of gratefulness to you, Sylvia --- Dearest Sylvia, Thank you for writing. You speak to the suffering of so many others as well. For the sake of illustration, let’s say that my friend’s child died. Here are a few of the reasons why I might love what is if I were in your position as a friend of someone who has lost a child: - I love that the child will never suffer again. - I also love that my friend won’t ever have to protect her child or worry about her, or manipulate her, or innocently teach her to fear, etc. (this is for my friend’s sake as well as the child’s). - I love that her child had a full life (even if the child was only six years or six minutes old). - I love that her child will never again experience anger, or the pain of hurting herself by hurting another being in any way, and be left with the guilt and the undiscovered reasons for the guilt and the suffering that the unquestioned mind’s blindness causes. I could go on and on …. I love the way of it, and that we as true friends can hold our kind and generous insights within ourselves as we begin to wake up to the obvious, and I love that I cannot wake you or my friend up with my words, and I love that you both can do that. This child you speak of will never have to suffer what you and her mother are suffering through, and I am that child awake, inviting you to peace of mind. I died for you, and your friend is literally dying for you (it feels like that sometimes when friends are so entirely devastated), and I invite you to life, as death like life is only a creation of mind. My beloved sister Sharon is dying of cancer now, and she is in the very painful last stages of agony. Watching my sister’s husband watch his wife in such dreadful pain would be agonizing, if not for the enlightened mind, the questioned awake-to-love mind. I see that he is helpless in the face of my sister’s pain. He has all kinds of thoughts and projections around the situation and the agony he witnesses. I consider the doctors and the hospice staff as authorities in this matter, and I watch as they do everything possible to ease the agony my sister is living in. That is all that can be done, and my job is to follow the simple directions as I watch and witness the best that can be done in the situation, massaging her swollen feet and ankles and legs as she cries like a little girl for our mommy, even at seventy-two years old. I watch as she eventually falls asleep into the abyss of the moment without moment. Oh, how I love her, and how opposite of helpless I am. I am the power of love, and there is nothing more powerful than that as I find myself sobbing with her, for opposite reasons. Who would think that love is that grateful, that deep, that overwhelming, and tear-filled! As I sob, the joy within, the joy that is born out of my love, blind in its clarity, runs deeper than any sadness could ever begin to, and it is allowed to live at its depth, a state that fear is too shallow to explore and must always fall short in its emotion to express. My sister’s dear husband is very afraid. "What will I do without her?" he says. I tell him that it’s simple. "Sooner or later you’ll go to the bathroom, then you will eventually eat, take a walk (he loves to walk), eventually sit down, then eventually stand up, go to bed, wake up, make your coffee in the morning. That is what you will probably do. But your thoughts along the way, your fear of the future and assumption of a past, make those simple things difficult." He knows that thework.com exists, and he will either Work his thoughts of not. For me, I will Work any thought that is small, petty, mean-minded, unkind, or fearful, or just doesn’t ring true. These conversations seemed very comforting to him. Also he would say something like, "I can’t stop her pain" and fall into a terrible kind of guilt. I hear how wise he is to know that he can’t stop her pain (in that moment, and he has done all that is possible under the circumstances) and he sees himself as falling short and shamefully so. I, on the other hand, see a kind and caring man who loves his wife, has done everything possible to help her ease her pain, and wants what he cannot have in the moment, even though everything has been done short of killing her with an overdose of morphine and drugs. I see him as love in action, and he sees himself as falling short of the task. There is no suffering in my life, and when it is time for me to hurt, it is time, and it’s wonderful to understand that anyone can get through that kind of pain, since when you are in it you are getting through it, there is no choice. Also, the enlightened mind understands that all pain is on its way out and that pain never gets worse than it is in this moment now, and I invite you all to test this reality and to understand for yourselves that even physical pain is a projection of mind, as is all suffering. Everything comes or goes in its time, and everything is medicine, even a suffering sister, brother-in-law, or friend. I hope that what I write is comforting to you and even a beginning of the possibility of your experience of gratitude, even of your joy, in what can be found within yourself. And I hope that in that your friend may follow without a word from you, other than what you so clearly live, which is that you care deeply for her and are doing everything you can do to lighten her suffering, even to end it. My invitation is that you end your own suffering out of the goodness and dearness and mercy of your own heart. There are universes that you may be missing, universes of wisdom that lie within you, which The Work can open you up to— your own answers to the questions, and the examples of your turnarounds are the key to those universes, the key to a kinder world and all the freedom that is your unlimited birthright. Here are some of the assumptions/concepts/thoughts taken from your email. I invite you to The Work on them, slowly, meditatively, deeply, and let what arises from within change not only life in your world itself, but the way you see life and experience the joy of what all really is, forever: - "Something terrible has happened"—is it true? Continue with inquiry (the four questions, turnarounds, and examples) all the way without shortcuts, and continue with the following as well in the same way. The questions are always available at thework.com. "Your friend lost her 6-year-old girl." "It was an accident." "She died yesterday." "We can protect ourselves and others." "There is danger in the world." "I cannot love that this happened." - "The idea of loving that the child died is cruel and cold-hearted." This turns around to "The idea of loving that the child died (loving what is) is kind and warm-hearted." I gave you a few examples above, and I invite you to find more on your own. Here is another question: "If the universe is friendly, why is the mother better off?" Find examples, and don’t stop until these thoughts are completely downloaded out of your dearest heart. Now find examples of where you are better off, and why the world is better off, and don’t stop until you have awakened yourself to what is, the unlimited and kind. And continue to allow your open mind to join, to match, the real nature of all things, the universe and all that is kind without exception. The way some people move from accepting what is to actually loving it is to do The Work. You asked for help and all I have to offer you is already within you, waiting to be realized, and I invite you to answer these four questions as deeply as you can and find the turnarounds and examples that lie within, the ones that matter, the ones that ring true to your heart, not your fear and resistance. In deepest love with yours, xoxo kt

From the Buddha's Dhammapada

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 19:51:00 -0800

(freely translated by Stephen Mitchell) Mind creates the world; what you see arises with your thoughts. If you speak and act with a confused mind, trouble will follow you as certainly as a cart follows the ox that pulls it. Mind creates the world; what you see arises with your thoughts. If you speak and act with a clear mind, happiness will follow you as certainly as your own shadow in sunlight. "It’s his fault." "She shouldn’t have done that." Believe such thoughts, and you live in resentment. "It’s his fault." "She shouldn’t have done that." Question such thoughts, and you live in freedom. Anger teaches anger. Fear results in more fear. Only understanding can lead to peace. This is the ancient law.

Peace in the Present Moment: Selected Quotations from Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie

Sat, 20 Nov 2010 11:49:55 -0800

Buy it from Amazon or the The Work Store >>

Postcards: The Work in Europe, 2010

Sat, 07 Aug 2010 08:08:43 -0800

Video: The School for The Work

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 21:03:02 -0800

Learn more about The School for The Work >>

Europa 2010: Schedule of Events

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 22:20:56 -0800

Who Would You Be Without Your Story? July 16 - 17, 2010 Amsterdam, The Netherlands Loving What Is: The End of Suffering July 20, 2010 Paris, France Who Would You Be Without Your Story? July 24, 2010 London, England Loving What Is: Lieben Was Ist July 27, 2010 Cologne, Germany School for The Work July 30 - August 8, 2010 Bad Neuenahr, Germany Details here >>

Video: The Work & Psychotherapy

Mon, 05 Jul 2010 09:33:35 -0800

"I shouldn't have married this man"

Wed, 26 May 2010 18:23:42 -0800

Here is a letter from a woman in Europe kind enough to write to Katie even though her first language isn’t English. For twenty years i've been married with my husband and you know, I had for twenty years resentment in this and I couldn’t get through it. I did The Work on it last August, I sent a letter, and still my resentment didn't resolve till now. I couldn’t find what i wasfighting.....was it my illusion to fight.......I don't love him or was it my heart telling me it wasn't the right man. I did the work on it and I couldn't come to a point and then............ I spoke about it with my coach and went home, still not knowing what to do, bit of crying in the car........ a friend of mine came by and I told her where it stops for me, where I couldn't get through the problem so she said................. “YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE MARRIED THIS MAN..is that true????????.........................”. as soon i heard this question, I burst into a big laugh.....the reality was and is I AM MARRIED WITH THIS MAN and then she asked........”who are you do when you don’t think this thought............” Then the curtain went up and I started for the first time to see what this marriage has brought me ........4 beautiful kids, home, a handsome man who stayed next to me durint all those bad times........I started to see the good things.. for the first time in a long, long, long time And I was so used to seeing all the negative things. I distracted me from him, so I lost myself, and my husband lost me, and we were both looking where i was .My mind wanted to see all the proofes of not having a good marriage...........oh what a bad time i had with this way of looking. really shocking. My mind was my prison. Questions 1 and 2 made me really laugh and question 3 ....I started to see how i created my own misery, and finding all the proofs and i could only see the bad times as proof. Now I can see the opposite and am wondering how this changed my way of looking in only one shift. and not only in my marriage , but also in other ways. the negative thoughts about myself are disappearing and I can feel myself coming out of my shelter. But the big question now is ...................I did the School in 2006....and after that, I still did........but why didn’t i come to this simple point earlier this year?..... it is so really easy, why did I miss it all the time?........... So now I have to get used to a life with nice points of views in my marriage and this feels rather funny. Thank you for writing, dearest, and I don’t call it The Work for nothing! Daily maintenance can give a life of joy and understanding to all situations, in my experience and freedom to love is your birthright. I invite you to check into possibilities of enrolling in the Institute for The Work. I developed this ongoing life school for those people who have been to the School for The Work and choose to do The Work as a daily practice. I like to say, “Do the work for breakfast and have a great life.” I am so very happy that you know how to find the way to your heart, husband, family, world, and peace. Thank you, angel. In love and gratitude for your humor, love, and light. xoxo kt

Video: "White people are scary"

Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:37:50 -0800

Video: "I'm not living up to my full potential"

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 14:10:45 -0800