Podcast: Do You Really Need a Partner to be Happy?

 

Also available in iTune, Click here to listen.

A young woman does The Work at the New Year’s Mental Cleanse in Los Angeles. She is stuck on the belief “I need a partner to be happy.” With Byron Katie’s help, she questions this belief and the many thoughts and images of past and future that support it. “How do you react when you believe the thought ‘I need a partner’ and you’re around men?” Katie asks. “There’s a desperation,” the woman says, “and I can’t see people in the moment. I concoct stories about attractive men.” A bit later Katie says, “Turn it around. ‘I don’t need a partner.’ Examples?” “I don’t need a partner, so I can learn to be with my thoughts in peace,” says the woman. “So I can do puzzles by myself.” An audience member says, “They may not like cats.” “That’s a huge one for me,” the woman laughs. “You can grow with or without someone,” Katie adds, “and when you’re comfortable in yourself, the partner will come, or not. Be the person you love living with the most. For me it’s the joy of being with Stephen or without Stephen. One is equally as divine as the other. You are the beloved. You’re the one you want. You’re the one you need. You’re the one who is always there for you.” When you’re not in touch with yourself, it’s a lonely world, with or without a partner.

Byron Katie Website: http://www.thework.com

Webcasts: http://www.livewithbyronkatie.com

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Podcast: Filling in a Worksheet as a Meditation

Also available on iTunes, click here to listen.

 

Byron Katie guides you through meditation on the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet. First she helps you recall a specific situation when you were upset with someone.

“Find a situation when you were frustrated, angry, or hurt with someone. Get in touch with the emotion and name it. Then get in touch with why you were upset with this person.

Identify what you were thinking and believing in that situation. Anchor in that situation, in that moment in time, and ask the next question on your Worksheet.

Continue to collect your thoughts from that moment. What were you thinking about that person?”

“This Work takes stillness. We are meditating on a moment in time.” —Byron Katie

 

For more information, visit thework.com

Podcast: How to meet the ego with understanding

Also available on iTunes, listen here.

 

Byron Katie talks with a woman from Serbia who asks, “Do we all have ego?”

“What is an ego to you?” Katie says. “To me, the I that believes is the ego: the you that you believe to be you, the one you think is the thinker, the false self.”

“Sometimes ego seems useful and constructive,” says the woman, “but sometimes it’s not useful. I don’t know how to question that part of me. How can I be at peace with that part of me?”

“As you do the turnarounds of The Work, you begin to experience your true nature where you are at peace. Eventually, even that becomes not true. Then you’re left happy for no reason. That’s the end of duality. For me, happiness just is. I can’t even claim it as peace of mind. When we continue to question our thoughts, we’re left with the positive, and there’s nothing we can do about that. It’s the song that matches our true nature.”

The ego is the you that you believe you to be. —Byron Katie

 

For more information, visit thework.com

Podcast: How to Have a Loving Relationship with Your Mom

Also available on iTunes, listen here.

 

 

A woman from New Orleans struggles with her mother’s decision to be friends with a man who has served prison time for rape and who assaulted her when she was a child. Her mother wants to spend time with him because she feels he adds value to her life. “When you are arguing with your mom,” Katie says, “are you adding value to your life or her life? It’s war. Defense is the first act of war. “And in fact, through no choice of your mother’s, the man is no longer in her life. You wanted him out of her life and you have that, but it’s not doing much for you, because you’re feeling betrayed by your mom. He’s fallen out of her life, and you’re still holding onto your resentment. The pain of the past is over, and it appears in the mind as images, as though it were real. This problem has to be kept alive in your mind in order to be a problem. And it’s held at your own expense. “You have to be there at that moment,” Katie says, “in that place, sitting there with your mother when she’s saying she wants him in her life. Identify and collect what you were thinking and believing in that moment. Those beliefs are the ones that caused the feelings of resentment, hatred, rage, and betrayal. When you question these thoughts, you’re questioning the cause of all of those emotions and your separation from your mother. “It’s huge to finally understand not only the cause of all our suffering, but how to identify the specific thought. That’s such a gift.” What I love about the past is: it’s over.

 

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Podcast: How to Find Unconditional Love in Your Life

 

To listen to this podcast on iTunes, click here.

 

 

Byron Katie speaks with a woman over Skype whose eldest son died of AIDS 18 years ago. Now she’s dealing with her daughter’s mental illness. She wakes up thinking, “I’ll never see her again.” Katie begins by asking her, “Is it true?”
“As you meditate on a question,” Katie says, “you never know what you’re going to find. Do you see your daughter? Is that an image or is it real? Notice the emotions that happen as you witness these images in your mind—as you sit in a dream that seems so real. Knowing the difference between what’s real and what is not is maturity. It’s like walking out of a movie and noticing that the sun is shining.
When you’re believing that these images are real, it’s so powerful; you can’t see the hand in front of you! You have a picture in your head and then you believe a story onto that picture. You make the image real with your mental soundtrack. So you’re not even connected with your daughter. And that’s why you’re so confused and lost; you’re disconnected from life as it really is.”
“That feels really true,” the woman says. “I’m not waking up thinking about my daughter—I’m waking up and telling myself a story about my daughter.”
“And are you doing that thinking, or is it just happening?” asks Katie.
“It just happens,” says the woman.
“Yes. You’re not doing it. And it’s completely harmless until you believe what you’re thinking,” Katie says. “I meditate on an image as I question what I’m believing about that image. Until I meet everything with unconditional love, my Work’s not done. The only daughter I’ve ever known is the daughter in my mind. When I can’t believe anything negative about her image any longer, then I’m connected with her. I’m fearless.”
The mind is so powerful that it creates your entire world.  —Byron Katie
For more information about The Work, visit thework.com

Podcast: How to Be Grateful for the Opportunity to be Honest

Also available on iTunes, listen here.

 

A woman from the Netherlands asks Byron Katie, “How do I recognize manipulation?” “Just notice,” Katie says. “Any time you’re defensive, you’re manipulating. It’s an attempt to hold an identity for yourself–an identity you want us to believe you are. Any time you feel anger or irritation, that identity is being threatened. Any time you lie, even the tiniest bit, you’re manipulating the person’s perception of the’I’ you want to be seen as. There’s an ongoing, false creation of our identity.”

I can never be more or less than what you believe me to be. —Byron Katie

 

For more information, visit thework.com

 

Podcast: How to Listen Without Fear

Also available on iTunes, here.

During an event at the Center for The Work in Ojai, CA, a woman questions what she believes about her daughter. One of her statements is “She doesn’t tell me about her life.”

“How do you react when you believe that thought?” Katie asks. “I’m devastated,” says the woman. “Did you come at her with an attitude?” Katie asks. “I did,” the woman says. Katie: “A daughter tells her mother that she’s moving. That’s reality. And then there is her mother, the dreamer, living in the dream of past and future and missing the chance to interact with her daughter in the present moment.”

In the turnaround “She does tell me about her life,” the woman chuckles in recognition of her daughter’s efforts to communicate with her. She continues reading from her Worksheet, and when she gets to “I want Courtney to text and call me often, before I call or text her,” she laughs along with the audience. This statement, which once felt so charged, now seems ridiculous. “We’re only on the third statement,” says Katie, “and the way you saw the original situation has already flipped, because you’re more awake to yourself than you were when you wrote it.”

“Hurt is a tantrum.” —Byron Katie

 

For more information, visite thework.com

Podcast: The Solution to the Problem is You

Also available on iTunes, here.

 

Roger Nairn of “The Solution Podcast” interviews Byron Katie. He begins by asking, “What was it that you saw in the world that needed a solution?” “My life was filled with depression, and I didn’t have an answer,” Katie says. “Then there was a moment when the answer just came to me. Even though I knew that depression was the problem, I didn’t understand that what I was thinking and believing was the cause. I had to work in slow motion to identify each belief that was causing a disturbance in my mind and then question that belief. That was my solution to the problem.” Katie then takes Roger through the four questions and turnarounds of The Work on the belief “He betrayed me” and clarifies how The Work as meditation moves us beyond the ego and into wisdom. “What sort of results should people who do The Work hope to achieve?” Roger asks. “The answer to all their problems,” says Katie. “When our mind is clear, wisdom has room to live. When I’m believing things onto the world, where is there room for wisdom?”

Byron Katie Mitchell (everyone calls her Katie) discovered the gift of The Work in 1986. She has been traveling around the world since 1992, offering The Work to millions of people at free public events, in prisons, hospitals, churches, corporations, battered women’s facilities, universities and schools, at weekend intensives, the nine-day School for The Work, and her 28-day Turnaround House. She is the author of Loving What Is, I Need Your Love-Is That True?, A Thousand Names for Joy, and A Mind at Home with Itself.

We are all innocent. The only thing we are guilty of is believing our unquestioned thoughts. —Byron Katie

Podcast: No One Can Wrong Me—The Work of Byron Katie

To listen on iTunes, click here.

 

At the Wisdom 2.0 conference in San Francisco, a woman from the audience says she was verbally attacked and blamed by her classroom teacher. Byron Katie guides her through The Work, beginning with the thought “My teacher is blaming me.” “When emotions arise and you experience anxiety, depression, or sadness,” Katie says, “identify what you are thinking and believing, capture it on paper, and then meditate on the four questions and turnarounds. These feelings of blame are so far off from our true nature. Until mind matches true nature, our Work isn’t done. When they match, it’s the end of separation and the beginning of intimacy. It’s a whole new way of being. It’s a life without problems.” As she finds her answers to the four questions, the woman realizes that her teacher didn’t actually say what she believed she said. And through the turnarounds, she discovers the ways she actually blames herself. Then she questions the many other thoughts she has identified from the situation. Ultimately, she can clearly say “I look forward to feeling blamed, because it shows me where I still have Work to do, where my beliefs are still hurting me.” The only way I know to break the spell of belief is to meditate on “Is it true?” —Byron Katie

 

Fill in a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet.

Podcast: No One Can Hurt Me, That’s My Job—The Work of Byron Katie

 

Byron Katie expands on the statement “No one can hurt me; that’s my job” for an audience member at the Spirit Rock Meditation Center. The man, the son of a Holocaust survivor, questions how this viewpoint could apply to victims of violent crime, war, and hate. “There are a lot of people being hurt by a lot of other people today,” he says, “and this statement sounds a little privileged.” “That’s why I’m standing here,”Katie says. “You don’t have to suffer that kind of hurt. You can get clear. And if you can get clear, someone else doesn’t have to suffer that.”Katie walks through a hypothetical scenario that illustrates how the mind creates its own suffering by imagining an event in a future that doesn’t exist. Katie points him to his immovable true nature. “You don’t have to notice it; it’s always there. It’s yours, it’s perfect, it’s immovable. And it hurts when you argue against it.” When I’m walking to the gas chamber, other than what I’m thinking and believing, what an amazing day!

For more information, visit theworkcom

Podcast: Awakening to Joy–Interview with Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell

To listen on iTunes, click here.

In this in-depth conversation with Jonathan Fields of goodlifeproject.com, Byron Katie is joined by her husband, Stephen Mitchell. Together they explore her journey and dive into their newest collaboration, A Mind at Home with Itself, which is based on one of the greatest spiritual texts, The Diamond Sutra.

KATIE: The Diamond Sutra is the story of the Buddha speaking with his student Subhuti. And truly, it’s the Buddha speaking to himself.

STEPHEN: The translations of the Diamond Sutra tend to be very difficult to penetrate, so I thought it would be a service to create a version that is accessible and allow its wisdom to shine through for contemporary readers.

KATIE: Stephen read the sutra to me, chapter by chapter, and he asked me to respond to it from my own experience. He’d write down my words and then do his beautiful thing of moving the way I talk into a more understandable English. I’d tell him often, “The sutra is so beautiful that for me to add one word would take away from it.” But he kept telling me that I had something valuable to add. I really hope it serves people.

STEPHEN: It struck me from the beginning that there were similarities between the mind that created the Diamond Sutra and Katie’s mind. There’s a great emphasis on inquiry in the Diamond Sutra. The wonderful thing that inquiry does is to keep pulling the rug out from under itself. Even the clearest truths that the sutra teaches are immediately invalidated, so you’re left with nothing to grasp. It’s wonderful how the subtle, profound mind of the author educates you in not-knowing, in not-grasping. This is exactly what The Work does: it questions assumptions and apparent truths that we create our lives around and that cause so much suffering. Katie’s stories make the insights of the Diamond Sutra vivid and moving. They give it the flesh and blood of loved experience.

JONATHAN: I completely agree with Stephen. Katie, I found your experience of the Diamond Sutra to be really powerful.

STEPHEN: The central insight of the sutra is generosity. The more deeply you understand that there is no such entity as the self, no separation between self and other, the more your life naturally becomes a life of generosity.

JONATHAN: In closing, I always ask one question. In your experience, what does it mean to live a good life?

KATIE: To be present and to recognize what is at hand to do, and to do that without hesitation.

STEPHEN: For me, it’s always recognizing the genuine wherever it appears, whether it’s in ancient texts, modern literature, music, art, or people. There is something magnetically compelling about someone who is speaking from a genuine inner truth.

For more information, visit thework.com

Podcast: Mind Body Green interview

Also available on iTunes, here.

 

Jason Wachob, founder of mindbodygreen.com, interviews Byron Katie about her system of self-inquiry known as The Work, which helps people to tell the difference between what they believe about reality and reality itself.

JASON: Katie cuts through the bullshit pretty quickly: “The Work isn’t meant to support you to feel good. There’s no feel-good in it. It’s about waking up to reality,” That’s good stuff. “When I sat down with Katie, she shared intimate details about her awakening and what life was like beforehand. It wasn’t easy. As a mother of three, she—understandably and relatably—was always worried about money, depressed, and stuck in a cycle of compulsive eating and smoking. One day in 1986 everything changed; she suddenly saw the world through different eyes and recalls in great detail exactly what it was like. That’s how The Work was born. Katie shares several examples that illustrate The Work, dives into the essential questions to ask yourself (which she details in her new book, “A Mind at Home with Itself”), and helps us see ourselves as entirely separate from our belief systems. In her words, “Suffering is the flip side of our true nature,” and The Work is one way to guide yourself in the right direction.

Podcast: I Had An Abortion When I Didn’t Want To—The Work of Byron Katie

This podcast is also available on iTunes, click here to listen.

A woman resents her husband because she feels he pressured her into having an abortion.

BK: Get still. “You didn’t want to have an abortion”–is it true?

Woman: I only have yes or no?

BK: That’s it.

Woman: I want a disclaimer (laughing). Yes.

BK: How do you treat your husband when you believe the thought “I didn’t want to have an abortion”?

Woman: I blame him. I treat him with suspicion. I question his motives at every turn.

BK (to audience): I invite you all to get out of your head as she has. Be courageous enough to ask, get still, and see what arises to meet the question. (To woman) Who would you be, living with this man for forty-one years, without the thought “I had an abortion when I didn’t want to.” Look at the difference in your marriage.

Woman: We’d both be free.

BK: What is the cause of your suffering?

Woman: The thought, for sure.

BK: Turn it around.

Woman: I did want to have an abortion.

BK: Feel it. Take responsibility for it. You’ve been trying to get him to do it for forty-one years. You’ve been putting that thought onto him for four decades.

Woman: It feels easier to blame him than to take responsibility.

BK: No one can change my mind. You can talk all you want; My mind shifts or it doesn’t. I can never say someone made me decide anything. There was a moment where I believed what I believed and made a decision. That was all mine—I’m 100% responsible.

 

Vist thework.com

Podcast: The Meat Industry is the Largest, Most Accepted Form of Violence in the World Today

 

To listen on iTunes, click here.

At the 5-day silent retreat in Engelberg, Switzerland (“Being with Byron Katie”) a Dutch woman questions her beliefs about the meat industry. The situation is that she’s watching an undercover video made at a slaughterhouse in Belgium. As she watches, she thinks, “The meat industry is the largest, most accepted form of violence in the world today.” They continue to question the thoughts on her Worksheet such as “I want the meat industry to stop being supported by millions of people,” “I want the meat industry to be revealed to be just as shameful as the slave industry,” “The meat industry should wake up to the fact that animals are sentient beings too,” “I need the meat industry to listen to scientific research (that shows that eating animals is no longer necessary or moral, because there are so many other sources of protein),” “The meat industry is cruel, unethical, unrealistic, unsustainable, a waking nightmare, and a collective cultural shadow,” and “I don’t ever want to see animals being tortured, separated, transported in unacceptable ways, or murdered for a few moments of our sensory pleasure.” To assume that any human being is less wise or less aware than anyone else is something I would question.

thework.com

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